-
Mooses with Bazookas
- And Other Stories Children Should Never Read
- Narrated by: S. D. Smith, Rob Riggle, Joel Clarkson, Sarah Mackenzie, Gina Smith, Andy Harvey
- Length: 2 hrs and 23 mins
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Publisher's summary
Mooses with Bazookas: And Other Stories Children Should Never Read is a fun collection of stories. It’s exactly like The Count of Monte Cristo apart from the many differences. Our lawyers have instructed us to warn you that listening to it may directly cause you to come down with every single disease you are worried about contracting. On the plus side, our nation’s beloved and heroic critics have had their say.
“FANTASTIC is not a word that comes to mind.”
—Beth Hinkle, author of Elite Prose
“ASTOUNDING problems at the sentence level and beyond.”
—Dr. Roger Johns, Ph. D.
“S. D. SMITH IS in dire need of A GENIUS editor.”
—Art Simonson, Inner Ring Magazine
“This author had nothing MUCH BETTER to do THAN destroy the language of DICKENS, SHAKESPEARE, AUSTEN!”
—Yammy Tork, Good Lit Guild
S. D. Smith has been called “America’s aft-most wordsmith” and is the award-losing author of more than ten books and less than thirty-seven books. He is half-man, half-rabbit, and half-mathematician. He lives in West Virginia with his wife and four children, because it would be kinda weird to live with some other family and super weird not to live in West Virginia.
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By: S. D. Smith
-
The Wreck and Rise of Whitson Mariner
- Tales of Old Natalia Series, Book 2
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Battered, but determined, Whitson Mariner leads his displaced rabbits into new dangers on a journey to their undiscovered home. Whitson the king, Lillie the queen, Prince Lander, and loyal Massie Burnson must rise from the wreckage of betrayal to rescue the cause once more.
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I appreciate a good book
- By RobinBRoberts on 12-07-18
By: S. D. Smith
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The Bark of the Bog Owl
- The Wilderking Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Jonathan Rogers
- Narrated by: Jonathan Rogers
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
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Story
12-year-old Aidan Errolson, comes from a long line of adventurers. His grandparents were among the first settlers of Corenwald's Eastern Frontier. His father had been one of the kingdom's greatest warriors. Aidan, on the other hand, lives the quiet, comfortable life, of a nobleman's son. He never has any real adventures, and that, he believes, is the one great injustice of his otherwise happy life. All that will change the day he first hears the bark of the bog owl, and meets Dobro Turtlebane.
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Our Family's New Favorite!
- By Charles Yates on 12-31-18
By: Jonathan Rogers
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Adventures with Waffles
- By: Maria Parr, Guy Puzey - translator, Kate Forrester - illustrator
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 3 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Hardly a day passes without Trille and Lena inventing some kind of adventure that often ends in trouble. Whether it's coaxing a cow onto a boat or tobogganing down the steepest and iciest hill with a chicken, there is always a thrill - and sometimes an injury - to be had. Trille loves to share everything with Lena, even Auntie Granny's waffles, which make everything just perfect. But when Lena has to move away, and Auntie Granny leaves the world, it sometimes seems nothing will ever be right again.
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very fun!
- By AnotherCustomer on 06-28-20
By: Maria Parr, and others
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Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key
- By: S. D. Smith, J. C. Smith
- Narrated by: Zeno Robinson
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key is an enchanting adventure in the tradition of Tolkien and Lewis, as well as Spielberg and Lucas. But this fantastical journey launches in rural West Virginia in the '80s, with a half-Appalachian, half-African kid trying to escape the town he sees defining his small, sad life. Jack discovers a gate hiding a city between 12 realms and finds out where he truly belongs in a surprising, satisfying adventure.
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Another epic tale for a great author!!
- By Shell27 on 01-26-23
By: S. D. Smith, and others
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The Black Star of Kingston
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 2 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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A century before Heather and Picket's adventures in The Green Ember, a displaced community fights for hope on the ragged edge of survival. Whitson Mariner and Fleck Blackstar face old fears and new enemies, forging a legend that will echo through the ages.
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An Enchanting Tale
- By BookWorm on 02-28-16
By: S. D. Smith
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The Last Archer
- Green Ember Archer, Book 1
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 1 hr and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Jo is a gifted archer with a burden on his back and a fire within. Eager to see the Longtreaders receive justice, he travels from his Halfwind Citadel home to a Cloud Mountain poised on the brink of war. What he finds there will confront his convictions and test his resolve as the war begins and King Jupiter's heir is revealed. A kingdom in the balance. An arrow aimed at the heart of darkness. Who will take the shot?
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“That was a great story.”
- By CW on 12-22-17
By: S. D. Smith
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The Wreck and Rise of Whitson Mariner
- Tales of Old Natalia Series, Book 2
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Battered, but determined, Whitson Mariner leads his displaced rabbits into new dangers on a journey to their undiscovered home. Whitson the king, Lillie the queen, Prince Lander, and loyal Massie Burnson must rise from the wreckage of betrayal to rescue the cause once more.
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I appreciate a good book
- By RobinBRoberts on 12-07-18
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Bark of the Bog Owl
- The Wilderking Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Jonathan Rogers
- Narrated by: Jonathan Rogers
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
12-year-old Aidan Errolson, comes from a long line of adventurers. His grandparents were among the first settlers of Corenwald's Eastern Frontier. His father had been one of the kingdom's greatest warriors. Aidan, on the other hand, lives the quiet, comfortable life, of a nobleman's son. He never has any real adventures, and that, he believes, is the one great injustice of his otherwise happy life. All that will change the day he first hears the bark of the bog owl, and meets Dobro Turtlebane.
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Our Family's New Favorite!
- By Charles Yates on 12-31-18
By: Jonathan Rogers
-
Adventures with Waffles
- By: Maria Parr, Guy Puzey - translator, Kate Forrester - illustrator
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 3 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Hardly a day passes without Trille and Lena inventing some kind of adventure that often ends in trouble. Whether it's coaxing a cow onto a boat or tobogganing down the steepest and iciest hill with a chicken, there is always a thrill - and sometimes an injury - to be had. Trille loves to share everything with Lena, even Auntie Granny's waffles, which make everything just perfect. But when Lena has to move away, and Auntie Granny leaves the world, it sometimes seems nothing will ever be right again.
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very fun!
- By AnotherCustomer on 06-28-20
By: Maria Parr, and others
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The Dragon and the Stone (The Dream Keeper Saga Book 1)
- The Dream Keeper Saga
- By: Kathryn Butler
- Narrated by: Shannon McManus
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Even though she’s only 12 years old, Lily McKinley already feels the weight of the world’s brokenness. She’s seen it in her mother’s exhaustion, her grandmother’s illness, and the cruelty of Adam, the bully at her school. But most tragically, she experienced it two months ago when her father died in a terrible accident. As an artistic daydreamer, Lily has a brilliant imagination to help her cope, but that imagination often gets her into trouble. One day, it transports her to a fantasy world called the Somnium Realm.
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A solid addition to your child’s library
- By Eric J. Dolce on 02-04-24
By: Kathryn Butler
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Carry On, Mr. Bowditch
- By: Jean Lee Latham, Jim Weiss
- Narrated by: Jim Weiss
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Winner of the American Library Association's 1956 Newberry Award! Carry On, Mr. Bowditch tells the inspiring, true adventures of Nat Bowditch, a boy during the American Revolution. Nat's passion for learning and his unstoppable spirit lead him from poverty and servitude to triumph and adventure at sea. Ultimately, Nat achieves everlasting fame for revolutionizing navigation, thus streamlining voyages and saving countless lives.
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Great sailing adventures.
- By Tim T CS on 05-21-24
By: Jean Lee Latham, and others
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A Ranger's Guide to Glipwood Forest
- The Wingfeather Saga
- By: Andrew Peterson
- Narrated by: Andrew Peterson
- Length: 1 hr and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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A Ranger’s Guide to Glipwood Forest expands the legend and lore of this treacherous land of fatal flora and fanged beasts—and the history of the first adventurers daring enough to brave the forest depths. Through detailed line art, maps, and directions, travelers can safely marvel at the majestic glipwood trees, poke around the (possibly haunted) Anklejelly Cavern, dip their toes into the Mighty River Blapp (if they dare!), and avoid falling off a cliff edge into the Dark Sea of Darkness and being swallowed by a sea dragon.
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Charming and beautiful!
- By Khyber on 05-13-24
By: Andrew Peterson
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Homer Price
- By: Robert McCloskey
- Narrated by: Mike Ferrerir
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Welcome to Centerburg! Where you can win a hundred dollars by eating all the doughnuts you want; where houses are built in a day; and where a boy named Homer Price can foil four slick bandits using nothing but his wits and pet skunk. The comic genius of Robert McCloskey and his wry look at small-town America has kept readers and listeners in stitches for generations!
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great family audiobook!
- By Raymond C Perts on 09-14-19
By: Robert McCloskey
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The Weirdies
- By: Michael Buckley
- Narrated by: Kate Winslet
- Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
- Original Recording
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Performance
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If you’re a fan of A Series of Unfortunate Events, Edward Scissorhands, or the darkest bits of Roald Dahl, the Weirdie triplets - Barnacle, Garlic, and Melancholy - will feel like old friends. After being left behind when the entire estate of Deadeye Manor is packed up for a doomed vacation cruise, the triplets have to learn how to fend for themselves.
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Hysterical and dark!!!
- By Bookchick on 11-19-20
By: Michael Buckley
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The Ark, the Reed, and the Fire Cloud
- The Amazing Tales of Max and Liz, Book One
- By: Jenny L. Cote
- Narrated by: Denny Brownlee
- Length: 14 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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A magical adventure of animals traveling worldwide to Noah's ark. Max, a Scottish terrier, takes his usual morning trot down to the loch where he hears a mysterious Voice humming in the reeds saying, "Come to me...follow the fire cloud." He embarks on an unknown journey from Scotland, meeting other animals along the way including Liz, a brilliant, petite black cat from France. Max and Liz become the brave leaders for their group, and eventually, for the entire ark. The mysterious journey, filled with danger, humor, trials, and triumphs, leads them across Europe to the Middle East.
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Worth the wait!!
- By 6711030903 on 08-22-18
By: Jenny L. Cote
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In Grandma's Attic
- Grandma's Attic
- By: Arleta Richardson
- Narrated by: Susan Hanfield
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
A young girl delights in her grandmother's stories of days gone by. Sparked by keepsakes and simple questions, Grandma shares marvelous stories of mischief, discovery, and laughter, such as the time she accidentally lost the family buggy.
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Such Sweet Stories and Great Narration
- By Michelle on 09-23-23
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Wingfeather Tales
- Seven Thrilling Stories from the World of Aerwiar
- By: Andrew Peterson - editor, Jonathan Rogers, N. D. Wilson, and others
- Narrated by: Andrew Peterson
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Immerse yourself in a land of bomnubbles and quarreling cousins, sea dragons and book publishers, thieves and Fangs and secret maps. Inside this book lie seven stories of the distant past, lost adventures, forgotten songs, and heartbreaking histories. The Shining Isle is restored, but Aerwiar is vast - and these authors have tales yet to tell.
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I really loved this! ❤️❤️❤️
- By HBD on 05-20-21
By: Andrew Peterson - editor, and others
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Thornton W. Burgess Box Set
- The Adventures of Sammy Jay; The Burgess Bird Book for Children; The Burgess Animal Book for Children; & Old Granny Fox
- By: Thornton W. Burgess
- Narrated by: Museum Audiobooks cast
- Length: 19 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Thornton Waldo Burgess (1874-1965) was a conservationist and author of children's stories. Burgess loved nature and its wild animals so much that he wrote about them for 50 years in books and his newspaper column. The delightful Adventures of Sammy Jay combines humorous animal escapades with gentle lessons about wildlife and nature, while The Burgess Bird Book for Children (1919) is a classic nature book which introduces young listeners to the subject of bird life by means of a series of interviews within a story....
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Once a Queen
- By: Sarah Arthur
- Narrated by: Shakira Shute, Sarah Arthur
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
When fourteen-year-old American Eva Joyce unexpectedly finds herself spending the summer at the mysterious manor house of the English grandmother she’s never met, she soon discovers that her family, the manor staff, and even the house itself are hiding secrets.
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could be a classic of a classic
- By Bree on 05-18-24
By: Sarah Arthur
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On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness
- The Wingfeather Saga, Book 1
- By: Andrew Peterson
- Narrated by: Andrew Peterson
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Janner Igiby, his brother, Tink, and their disabled sister, Leeli, are gifted children as all children are, loved well by a noble mother and ex-pirate grandfather. But they will need all their gifts and all that they love to survive the evil pursuit of the venomous Fangs of Dang, who have crossed the dark sea to rule the land with malice. The Igibys hold the secret to the lost legend and jewels of good King Wingfeather of the Shining Isle of Anniera.
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Fun fact in review. Excellent book. Sweet yet suspenseful.
- By kristy on 01-08-21
By: Andrew Peterson
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Wonderland
- By: Barbara O'Connor
- Narrated by: Nina Alvamar
- Length: 4 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Mavis Jeeter has never lived in one place long enough to have a real best friend. Mavis wants this home to be permanent - which means finding herself a best friend. Rose Tully doesn't quite fit in, and her closest friend is Mr. Duffy, but he hasn't been himself since his dog died. Henry has run away from home, but he craves kindness and comfort - and doesn't know where to look for them. When Mavis and Rose hatch a scheme to find Mr. Duffy a new dog, their lives and Henry's intersect - and they all come to find friendship in places they never expected.
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Muy bueno!
- By Amazon Customer on 03-23-24
By: Barbara O'Connor
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What listeners say about Mooses with Bazookas
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Performance
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- Kristen
- 02-27-24
Kids say "It's Hilarious!"
My kids loved Wally Warmbottom and his hilarious letters and play on words. Mooses in Bazookas was silly, funny, and overall entertaining. The only story we didn't care for was the one about the dog and the rocket, because the kids didn't get it, and wished that it was read differently.
Otherwise, the performance was just awesome!!
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- Meg
- 06-01-24
Awesome!
S.D. Smith has done it again!! It is fabulously funny and I love it!! I was hoping for the next Jack Zulu book to come out next but this one is just as good!
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- J Hill
- 03-21-24
I like bazookas so i tried this book out and i got hooked.
Why should you not read it? Because it has guns and bazookas says Wally Warmbottom, but i disagree,all children should read this book (or books). But you should know something. IT IS SUPER SILLY. I love this book 5 stars. Plus 500 more
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- Luke Murphy
- 02-23-24
How funny this was to my kids and myself
Thank you so much for writing this. We I've been able to gather around this book and laugh. My 6 and 7 year old giggle at the quote "Of course you don't care because all you care about is essential oils" 😆
We will be enjoying this book for years to come
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- Sarah H
- 03-09-24
So much fun
Five stars! One for every kid who laughed the whole time.
I am going to put this in my memoirs.
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- Terrance Niedziela Jr.
- 02-23-24
Mooses With Bazookas Hilarious!
I enjoyed reading Mooses With Bazookas and enjoyed listening even more. The stories and letters are masterfully written and entertain with a delightful collection of verbal twists and turns. I love pun an wordplay and this book is filled with them both. Five Stars and well worth the time to listen and/or read. Check it out!
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- Erica Oglesby
- 04-01-24
Hilarious and whimsical!!
I loved this book so so much! The stories are hilarious, narrators are talented, and the bonus interview at the end is the perfect finale. S.D Smith is a wonderful author, and this book is perfect for belly laughs, hot dog buns, and deserted islands! Share this book with all your friends, and make sure to read The Green Ember series as well!! :)
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- phillybob
- 05-14-24
It’s amazing
It’s not bad it’s amazing the kids love it it’s amazing and I love it to
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