From Beneath the Ice

A Tale of Struggle and Triumph with PTSD and Mental Illness

By: Todd Arkyn Crush

Narrated by: Todd Arkyn Crush

Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins

Publisher's summary

If your life was a book, would you read it? Would it be a harrowing adventure, a desolate tragedy, or a love story? This book is all those things. It is a gripping story of struggle and eventual triumph against all odds.

Todd Arkyn Crush began his life abandoned at a church as an infant. From there he endured two decades of verbal and neglectful abuse from his adoptive mother. He achieved anyway, only to be knocked down again by the onset of schizophrenia.

From Beneath the Ice chronicles Todd’s journey. Schizophrenia destroyed what he had built with his young family. Disquieted by the horrific actions of another schizophrenic, he departed on a five-year backpacking trip into the wilderness. He encountered several near-death experiences.

The oppression in his mind stopped him for many decades. Trapped by symptoms of his schizophrenia and anxiety, Todd languished at every turn. He finally decided to fight back. Through music, running, and sheer mental determination, Todd began his journey back to life.

Todd emerged as a kind and gentle warrior, willing to battle against whatever came his way. His PTSD and schizophrenia created scars that he turned into maps—maps that guided his way From Beneath the Ice to the light above and beyond.

Todd heard ‘You can’t’ from others and himself for a large portion of his life. He now shouts, ‘I CAN!!’ over and over again. Running and performing music with voices are just some of the ways he has overcome. He intends to use his experiences and story to inspire others and help in any way that he can.

From Beneath the Ice is more than a book, it is a triumph of the human spirit. Todd’s mind was hijacked, but he slowly took the helm and charted a new course. It was a difficult process for him to write this book, but in the end, it was empowering. Publishing was even harder, knowing that his darkest moments would be ‘out there’ for the world to see. He knew his primary focus was to help people and contribute to ending the stigma about mental illness. To do this, he had to be more courageous than he had ever been. Embracing his warrior spirit, he brings his tale to life in this incredible account of his journey.

©2024 Todd Arkyn Crush (P)2024 Todd Arkyn Crush

Powerful Insight

As a fellow runner and a psychiatric provider I found this book to be extremely helpful in the constant struggle posed by schizophrenia. Todd doesn't hold anything back. He celebrates his triumphs but is honest about his weakness and has tremendous insight on how his life affected his illness and vice versa. For anyone looking to understand more about how schizophrenia affects fellow humans, read this book. Very powerful.