After getting engaged, Nikki Vargas was staring down a lifetime of white picket fences, suburbs, and 2.5 kids. And deep down she knew she couldn’t do it. So years into a confining relationship, and even deeper into a love affair with travel and journalism that compromised the future her fiancé imagined, Nikki had to make a life-changing choice. She talks with Stephanie about how, ultimately, that choice might just be the best one she’s ever made.

This series is presented by the Marguerite Casey Foundation. MCF supports leaders who work to shift the balance of power in their communities toward working people and families, and who have the vision and capacity for building a truly representative economy. Learn more at caseygrants.org or visit on social media @caseygrants.

Follow Stephanie on Instagram at @wittelstephanie. Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.

Have a story you want to share? Head to bit.ly/lastdaystories to fill out our confidential Google form.

Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/

For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.

To follow along with a transcript, go to www.lemonadamedia.com/show/lastday shortly after the air date.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kat grew up internalizing that it was her “responsibility” to be careful around men. But when a male friend sexually assaulted her after a frat party, Kat knew the burden wasn’t hers alone to bear. She needed to seek justice. In a deeply vulnerable and reflective conversation with Stephanie, Kat provides a glimpse into what happened after she filed a report against her assailant. She found herself in a struggle that consumed her entire college career — and that compromised who she’s able to be now.

This series is presented by the Marguerite Casey Foundation. MCF supports leaders who work to shift the balance of power in their communities toward working people and families, and who have the vision and capacity for building a truly representative economy. Learn more at caseygrants.org or visit on social media @caseygrants.

Follow Stephanie on Instagram at @wittelstephanie. Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.

Have a story you want to share? Head to bit.ly/lastdaystories to fill out our confidential Google form.

Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/

For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.

To follow along with a transcript, go to www.lemonadamedia.com/show/lastday shortly after the air date.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Last Day listeners, today we're sharing with you Stephanie's conversation with Kate Bowler on her show Everything Happens. Kate is a professor at Duke University and someone who was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in 2015 that had already metastasized. She is now in remission, and spends lots of time talking to other people about the fact that everything just, well, happens! To hear more of Everything Happens, head to: https://lemonada.lnk.to/everythinghappens

Today, we’re talking about tragicomedy. And isn’t that all of life? The absurdity. The horror. The laughter that somehow cuts through the most difficult of moments. Our guest today, Stephanie Wittles Wachs wrote a beautiful memoir called Everything is Horrible and Wonderful about the death of her brother to an accidental heroin overdose when he was 30 years old.

In this conversation, Kate and Stephanie discuss:

• Loving someone with addiction
• Grieving a person in public
• Why it’s okay (and maybe necessary) to laugh in the midst of the worst moments
• The 6th stage of grief—the manic-investigative stage

CW: mention of suicide, drug overdose, death of a sibling

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.

Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.