Preview
  • Marry Him

  • The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
  • By: Lori Gottlieb
  • Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
  • Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (889 ratings)

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Marry Him

By: Lori Gottlieb
Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
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Publisher's summary

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?

But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?

Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.

Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good-enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point", to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?

That's where Marry Him comes in.

By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face - how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy - as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s.

Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2021 Penguin Audio
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Critic reviews

"Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people's stories with Gottlieb's own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture - everything from When Harry Met Sally to The Bachelor - come into play when modern women look for love." (The New York Observer)

"A provocative pop culture treatise...she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions." (The Chicago Tribune)

"Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love - by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Like provocative relationship classics such as The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, Marry Him will set people talking for years." (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project)

What listeners say about Marry Him

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Draining read

I did bot finish this book which is rate for me but listen to big part of it. What I liked is the writing style being neat and clear but Toxic thoughts and ideas, anti-feminine with lots of ageism in there. I also believe that some need to go down to earth to find a partner if that’s what they want in life, but hell No to the notion to talk about “an expiry date”. Seriously, that’s promoting a terrible idea by talking about it as it is a fact. It’s an old construct that we should have gotten rid of ages ago but the author did not seem to have gotten the memo. Another terrible construct promoted in the book is the idea that most women want a traditional marriage and to have kids. Sorry but that’s not the case and if you feel lonely and you think a child or a husband or both will fix that you really need to work on yourself. Btw I am married with two kids, def not against marriage.

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5 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

A valid premise, but…

A good message but she kept belaboring the point. It would’ve been better as a nice magazine article.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Couldn’t stop listening!!!

This book is so good and very helpful! I think my intuition has already guided me to some of her enlightened dating practices but helped open my eyes on how to pick the right partner for myself!

I loved the performance, the stories, and the cadence of the information. I do wish the ending was a little happier and would totally listen to a second book if it was a “where are they now” read!

READ IT! If your single, if you’re seeing someone, or if you’re married! It is all around a smart book for anyone.

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Much Needed Read

This was an insightful read that tackles the complexities of modern dating and relationships with honesty and humor. the author dives into the idea of lowering our often unrealistic standards and focusing on what truly matters in a long-term partner.The book is filled with relatable anecdotes, expert opinions, and practical advice that makes you reflect on your own dating habits and expectations.

I don't understand the negative reviews calling the book misogynistic. The people writing those reviews are likely the same ones falling into the bad habits this book aims to fix. The book's point isn't that you need to be married or that marriage should be your main goal in life. It's for those who want to be married but keep thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Most of the time, it’s not. The grass is greener where you water it.

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very factual

I love this book and truly believe single people should get it. I'm 35 and single and will definitely practice her advise

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Insightful, Helpful, & Fun

I loved every minute, and learned so much about myself, and marriage, past and present. I love the way she interweaves scientific research and wise council along with the stories.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Smart information

This book will gently bring you back to the real world of your (unrealistic) thoughts. IF, you’re open minded. If you’re not, you’ll remain single and this book will tell you why. Great narrator, great author = can’t go wrong.

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A must read

I am a 26 year old who’s so happy to have come across this book. I’ve realized the mistakes I’ve been making. I’ll do better now that I know better.

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  • Overall
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Love it!

Brutally honest and insightful! This book is for any 30 something who can’t quite find their fit and for anyone who’s terrified of settling.

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Amazing

This book was such a good listen. It was well written and really made me understand so much about my own life. Things were explained in ways everyone can understand them and never came off negatively. It was fantastic!

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