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Real Ponies Don't Go Oink!
- Narrated by: Norman Dietz
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
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Publisher's summary
You'll laugh aloud as McManus and his friends, including Rancid and Crazy Eddie, venture into the great outdoors to face formidable foes like truck campers, tackle boxes, and boat engines. Digging into his vast knapsack of anecdotes, McManus offers them as guides for the bumpier trails of life.
Although his stories are wacky, McManus never resorts to profanity or crudity, even when he is considering Teenagers from Hell or Strange Meets Matilda Jean. Narrator Norman Dietz perfectly captures the baffled lunacy that characterizes these reminiscences and quests for the sportsman's perfect moment.
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Critic reviews
"McManus watchers will want to know that the old rara avis is back in full plumage and chirping away, regular as the seasons." ( Kirkus Reviews)
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Louisiana, 2065. A lot has changed in the 43rd year of the Kurian Order. Possessed of an unnatural and legendary hunger, the bloodthirsty Reapers have come to Earth to establish a New Order built on the harvesting of enslaved human souls. They rule the planet. They thrive on the scent of fear. And if it is night, as sure as darkness, they will come.
On this pitiless world, the indomitable spirit of mankind still breathes in Lieutenant David Valentine.
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Its what you expect, and thats not a bad thing.
- By Kevin McLaughlin on 11-26-08
By: E. E. Knight
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Go Big or Go Home
- A Novel
- By: Will Hobbs
- Narrated by: Charles Carroll
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Brady Steele watches in awe as a fireball comes crashing through the roof of his house. Brady immediately calls up his cousin, Quinn. They both love all things extreme, and this is the most extreme thing ever! Fred, as Brady names his space rock, turns out to be one of the rarest meteorites ever found. Brady is discovering he's able to do strange and wonderful feats that shouldn't be possible.But he's developing some frightening symptoms. Could he be infected with long-dormant microbes from space?
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Awesome and original
- By Natalie on 05-17-21
By: Will Hobbs
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Close Range
- Wyoming Stories (Selected Unabridged Stories)
- By: Annie Proulx
- Narrated by: Frances Fisher, Bruce Greenwood, Campbell Scott
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Annie Proulx's masterful language and fierce love of Wyoming are evident in this collection of stories about loneliness, quick violence, and wrong kinds of love. In "The Mud Below", a rodeo rider's obsession marks the deepening fissures between his family life and self-imposed isolation. In "The Half-Skinned Steer", an elderly fool drives west to the ranch he grew up on for his brother's funeral, and dies a mile from home.
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A Wonderfully Ironic and Surprising Read
- By Susan L. Stewart on 04-21-12
By: Annie Proulx
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Just Passin' Thru
- A Vintage Store, the Appalachian Trail, and a Cast of Unforgettable Characters
- By: Winton Porter
- Narrated by: Jones Allen
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Like a well-crafted stage play, Just Passin' Thru delivers one suspenseful scene after another. But in this historic setting a store on the Appalachian Trail called Mountain Crossings the characters who show up are no fictional creations. Like any good drama, there are the good guys (and gals) and the weirdos, too. Some show up once (and that’s enough), and some appear again and again. But all are united by two things: the author’s story-capturing talent, and whatever it is that lures them to attempt (or conquer) a 2,200-mile path that climbs and plummets from Georgia to Maine.
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Well Worth it!
- By Pamela M. on 11-13-14
By: Winton Porter
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Signals: New and Selected Stories
- By: Tim Gautreaux
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 13 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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After the stunning historical novels The Clearing and The Missing, Tim Gautreaux now ranges freely through contemporary life with 12 new stories and eight from previous collections. Most are set in his beloved Louisiana, many hard by or on the Mississippi River, others in North Carolina, and even in midwinter Minnesota. But generally it's heat, humidity, and bugs that beset his people as they wrestle with affairs of the heart, matters of faith, and the pros and cons of tight-knit communities.
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Perfection! Amazing writer/amazing reader
- By Monique on 01-08-19
By: Tim Gautreaux
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Swindle
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular author Gordon Korman has sold millions of copies of his irreverant books for young readers. In this fast-paced caper, 11-year-old Griffin Bing finds something far more profitable than cobwebs during a haunted house sleepover - a rare Babe Ruth baseball card. But when a swindler scams the card from Griffin for only $125, the resourceful sixth grader and his friends plot their revenge.
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No at all what I expected
- By Lynn on 01-11-12
By: Gordon Korman
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Mannheim Rex
- By: Robert Pobi
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Recently widowered and grieving, Gavin flees New York City for the quiet of the country. His new home on Lake Caldasac has surprisingly few visitors, and the author soon learns why: a suspiciously high number of people have gone missing in the small town. The deaths have all been ruled accidents, but Finn Horn, a handicapped boy obsessed with fishing, knows the truth. There’s a monster in the lake. And it wants to feed.
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Interesting and fun
- By Bob on 01-14-13
By: Robert Pobi
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Impasse
- A Novel
- By: Royce Scott Buckingham
- Narrated by: Allan Robertson
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Forty and facing a midlife crisis, Stu Stark has lost his mojo. He simply gave up after being fired from his prestigious job as a prosecuting attorney for losing the biggest case of his career. So when Stu's best friend gifts him a one-week trip into the Alaskan wilderness to rediscover his manhood, Stu thinks it just might do him some good. But after a horrible week, Stu is crushed when he realizes no one is coming back for him.
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A Truly Great Crime/Revenge Novel
- By Chip Atkinson on 03-16-15
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King of the Road
- True Tales from a Legendary Ice Road Trucker
- By: Alex Debogorski
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Inside one of the world's most dangerous jobs with the star of History's top-rated reality show, Ice Road Truckers. The highest-rated reality show ever to hit the History channel, Ice Road Truckers follows the heart-pounding adventures of the tough-as-nails truckers who risk peril every day to deliver goods and supplies in Alaska and across Canada's frozen north. Alex Debogorski here shares tales of his adventures - and misadventures.
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Awesome Book.
- By Anonymous User on 10-28-19
By: Alex Debogorski
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In the chapters of Never Sniff a Gift Fish, McManus will teach you the wisdom that is usually shared only in the close ranks of modern-day hunters and gatherers. To complete your arsenal, McManus also includes "The Hunter's Workout Guide" and a special "Family Camper's Dictionary". Exercises like the hindquarter shuffle will make you move like a hunter. And phrases like "Yip-yip-yip-Owoooooo!" will help you sound like one, too.
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Eh
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America's most hilarious sportsman returns with this collection of insights about youth, the great outdoors, and the philosophy of fileting fish. When best-selling author Patrick McManus looks at a subject, you're sure to come away with an outrageously new perspective.
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Laughed so hard I cried!
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The Bear in the Attic
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With over two million copies of his works in print, Patrick McManus is an accomplished humor author. In The Bear in the Attic, he once again invites listeners to peek into his unique perspectives on life and his favorite topic, the great outdoors. Here listeners are treated to amazingly absurd tales of young male hijinks, camping mishaps and neighbor-eating bears! Norman Dietz adds another dimension to McManus' humor with his brilliant comic narration.
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Simply the best
- By Ruth on 09-30-09
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The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories
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The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories is a hilarious addition to Patrick F. McManus’s existing work in humor. The author weighs in on his childhood, everyday life, and outdoor tales with his typical exaggerated commentary that will elicit a belly laugh from all types of listeners. Read about the antics of Patrick’s friends Rancid Crabtree and Retch Sweeney in such stories as “Shaping Up for the Hunt” and “Bear Hunters”, and much more!
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The Most Laughs from McManus' books despite flaws
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slow, monotone country reader
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Classic Pat McManus
- By Elizabeth on 06-13-17
By: Patrick McManus
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Eh
- By Kim on 07-21-11
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Laughed so hard I cried!
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Simply the best
- By Ruth on 09-30-09
By: Patrick McManus
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The Most Laughs from McManus' books despite flaws
- By Diana on 01-14-14
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How I Got This Way
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Grab your fishing net and hold onto your funny-bone; you're in for a hilarious romp through the woods with best-selling funnyman Patrick McManus. How I Got This Way is a rib-tickling collection of stories about the outdoors guaranteed to leave you chuckling. Join McManus and his pals on a venture into the Idaho wilderness that includes taking a hike with - ahem - the president of the United States.
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Mark Twain meets Bertie Wooster
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Let the world's funniest sportsman tickle your funny bone with quirky homespun stories and whimsical perspectives on life. Patrick F. McManus gently pokes fun at the oddities of sacred institutions like friendship, marriage, and even hunting and fishing. Soon his crazy theories start making sense, and you know you've crossed the border into McManus country, where life is a little lighter - and much more amusing.
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Positive, clean, funny stories - brighten your day
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The Blight Way
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Bo Tully is the sheriff of Blight County, Idaho, where law enforcement is usually pretty mundane: tracking down truants running away from school, picking up country boys who've had a few too many beers. But Tully gets a little more than the country norm when an ex-con calls with the startling news that there's a corpse draped across one of his fences.
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Lots of fun and no bad language
- By Share on 02-26-10
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Kerplunk!
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The stories in Kerplunk! travel the byways and highways of the Pacific Northwest, bringing to life offbeat, down-home characters who hope their grandchildren can pick the lock on the gun safe because they've forgotten the combination, who know exactly why it costs $500 to make a fly lure that retails for $2, and who aren't afraid to confront the problems of bird-dog flatulence.
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narrator nightmare
- By David on 12-09-07
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Andrew Carnegie
- By: David Nasaw
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- Unabridged
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The Scottish-born son of a failed weaver and a mother who supported the family by binding shoes, Andrew Carnegie was the embodiment of the American dream. In his rise from a job as a bobbin boy in a cotton factory to being the richest man in the world, he was single-minded, relentless and a major player in some of the most violent and notorious labor strikes of the time. The prototype of today's billionaire, he was a visionary in the way he earned his money and in the way he gave it away.
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Andrew Carnegie
- By Peggie on 10-01-07
By: David Nasaw
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The Hidden History of the JFK Assassination
- The Definitive Account of the Most Controversial Crime of the Twentieth Century
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- Unabridged
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November 22, 2013 marks the 50th anniversary of the tragedy that has haunted America ever since. For the first time, this concise and compelling book pierces the veil of secrecy to fully document the small, tightly-held conspiracy that killed President John F. Kennedy. It explains why he was murdered, and how it was done in a way that forced many records to remain secret for almost 50 years. The Hidden History of the JFK Assassination draws on exclusive interviews with more than two dozen associates of John and Robert Kennedy.
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Tedious, redundant and speculative
- By J on 04-15-19
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It's Only Slow Food Until You Try to Eat It
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- Unabridged
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A longtime contributor to Field and Stream, Bill Heavey knew more than a little about hunting and fishing when he embarked on an ambitious project a few years ago to see how far he could get eating wild. But Heavey knew next to nothing about gardening or foraging, and he lives in northern Virginia, close to Washington, D.C. The rural wilds, this was not. Is it any surprise that his tasty triumphs were equaled by his hilarious misadventures?
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Not what I thought, but still loved it.
- By Austin Kelley on 12-08-16
By: Bill Heavey
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Whispers in the Tall Grass
- By: Nick Brokhausen
- Narrated by: George Spelvin
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- Unabridged
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On his second combat tour, Nick Brokhausen served in Recon Team Habu, CCN. This unit was part of MACV-SOG (Military Assistance Command Vietnam Studies and Observations Group), or Studies and Observations Group as it was innocuously called. The small recon companies that were the center of its activities conducted some of the most dangerous missions of the war, infiltrating areas controlled by the North Vietnamese in Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia. The companies never exceeded more than 30 Americans, yet they were the best source for the enemy's disposition.
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OUTSTANDING
- By James on 12-21-19
By: Nick Brokhausen
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Meghan and Harry
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A balanced account of game changes, conflicts and ambitions. The fall from popular grace of the previously adulated brother of the heir to the British throne as a consequence of his marriage to a beautiful and dynamic Hollywood starlet of colour makes for fascinating listening in best-selling royal author Lady Colin Campbell's balanced account. Lady Colin knows her royal history and psychology, and as the first seven years of her adult life were spent in the USA, she has a foot in both the American and British camps.
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Riveting - and I don't follow royals
- By Sharon Claire on 08-10-20
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Hell's Angels
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- By: Hunter S. Thompson
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- Unabridged
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Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas author Hunter S. Thompson rocked the literary world with his mind-bending style of Gonzo journalism. First published in 1966, Hell’s Angels is Thompson’s up-close and personal look at the infamous motorcycle gang during the time when its moniker was most feared.
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Visions of the Future of Motorcycle Gangs
- By Joe Bloggs on 07-13-13
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The Debutante
- By: Jon Ronson
- Narrated by: Jon Ronson
- Length: 3 hrs and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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Thirty years ago, award-winning journalist Jon Ronson stumbled on the mystery of Carol Howe—a charismatic, wealthy former debutante turned white supremacist spokeswoman turned undercover informant. In 1995, Carol was spying on Oklahoma’s neo-Nazis for the government just when Timothy McVeigh blew up a federal building in Oklahoma City, killing 168 people.
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Interesting but not compelling
- By Gail Jester on 04-15-23
By: Jon Ronson
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Gold Dust Woman
- The Biography of Stevie Nicks
- By: Stephen Davis
- Narrated by: Christina Delaine
- Length: 14 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Gold Dust Woman gives "the gold standard of rock biographers" (the Boston Globe) his ideal topic: Nicks' work and life are equally sexy and interesting, and Davis delves deeply into each, unearthing fresh details from new, intimate interviews and interpreting them to present a rich new portrait of the star. Just as Nicks (and Lindsay Buckingham) gave Fleetwood Mac the "shot of adrenaline" they needed to become real rock stars - according to Christine McVie - Gold Dust Woman is vibrant with stories and with a life lived large and hard.
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Disappointed
- By Amazon Customer on 12-22-17
By: Stephen Davis
What listeners say about Real Ponies Don't Go Oink!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- geri
- 10-30-23
Great stories
I have read all of his books. This one has my all time favorite story, a good deed gone wrong. The stories were great as usual but the readers voice didn’t match my vision of pat and the stories.
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- Elizabeth
- 10-27-17
Classic Pat McManus
This book never gets old. Norman Dietz is fabulous narrator, combined with Pat McManus great humor, we still laugh, and that's after more than 10 years of owning this audiobook and listening to it more than a hundred times.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Kathy
- 02-25-20
Great Fun and Wonderful Narrator
Being from the McManus neck of the woods (Spokane, WA.) this was so much fun to listen to. The narrator was wonderful with all the voices and personalities. Only tiny flaw was he didn't pronounce "kokanee' corectly - but I sure wouldn't worry about that! Thanks! Pat McManus will be missed.
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- Roseclan
- 04-13-22
I LOVE these books!
I have read/listened to EVERY one of Patrick F. Mcmanus' books several times! The stories never get old. It is good, clean humor that my sons and I have enjoyed together for years! if you like fishing, hunting, camping, basically any outdoor stuff, you will love these too. I wish he was still around to give us more...The world lost a truly funny man and national treasure when he passed. The Narrator Norman Dietz, IS the voice of Patrick McManus and all his hapless characters, especially Rancid Crabtree, my favorite! No one else should even try! Absolutely recommend every book!
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Overall
- Ken
- 10-21-09
Real Honest Humor
Patrick McManus is just a great witer. I have read his feature at the end of Outdoor Life for years and have never been dissapointed, if anything he has always wen't way beond and set my expectaions in the first plase.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Whirlygirl
- 12-11-22
Absolutely
Hilarious good fun, especially if you grew up in the areas he describes, doing the nonsense he plies us with.
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- J. Duncan
- 08-12-22
So funny
This is my favorite Patrick McManus book. I laughed so hard. Norman Dietz is a perfect voice for McManus. Well worth the time to listen.
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- michael Yoder
- 09-27-22
hilarious!
this guy writes really good humor in some sure enough bizarre stories about crazy sounding characters 🤣
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- Mamabelle
- 11-26-22
Buy it, it's worth it
There is a funny part with a bobcat it it ha ha ha ha ha
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- DT
- 04-09-22
Great Humor with perfect nararrator.
Pat McManus anthologies are always good for a laugh.
The narrarator they used for this book is perfect. it is exactly how I can imagine him sounding.
My only complaint is where they put the chapter breaks in the audio. Rather than using Pat's natural chapter breaks they force an unnatural breaks based on time. This causes the audio chapters to begin and end in the middle of a story, rather than at the beginning and end of a story
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