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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
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Publisher's summary
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one.
Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive". Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.
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Sabina Kane doesn't really fit in. And being an assassin doesn't help matters. But she's never brought her work home. Until now. Sabina's latest mission is uncomfortably complex and threatens the fragile peace between the vampire and mage races. As she scrambles to figure out which side she's on, she uncovers a tangled political web, some nasty facts about her family, and some unexpected new talents. Any of these things could be worryingly life changing, but together they could be lethal.
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One of the Worst Books I've "Read"
- By BestBooksBestPrice on 09-12-12
By: Jaye Wells
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The Book of Levi
- The Demon Accords, Book 0.5
- By: John Conroe
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
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How do you raise a boy who can bend reality with his mind? How do you keep him levelheaded, sane, and good? Raising any child is a tremendous undertaking, let alone one blessed by the goddess herself. Levi Guildersleeve, retired soldier and successful collector of rare books, finds himself as the only male role model of the most powerful witch ever born.
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This could have been amazing, went on too long.
- By Justin on 11-22-22
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Kitty and The Midnight Hour
- Kitty Norville, Book 1
- By: Carrie Vaughn
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Kitty Norville is a midnight-shift DJ for a Denver radio station---and a werewolf in the closet. Sick of lame song requests, she accidentally starts "The Midnight Hour," a late-night advice show for the supernaturally disadvantaged. After desperate vampires, werewolves, and witches across the country begin calling in to share their woes, her new show is a raging success.
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BILL CLINTON WAS A WEREWOLF
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 09-27-17
By: Carrie Vaughn
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Graveyard Shift
- By: Michael F. Haspil
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Alex Menkaure, former pharaoh and mummy, and his vampire partner, Marcus, born in ancient Rome, are vice cops in a special Miami police unit. They fight to keep the streets safe from criminal vampires, shape-shifters, bootleg blood dealers, and anti-vampire vigilantes. When poisoned artificial blood drives vampires to murder, the city threatens to tear itself apart. Only an unlikely alliance with former opponents can give Alex and Marcus a fighting chance against an ancient vampire conspiracy.
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Vampires and humans living in harmony?
- By Anne on 03-23-18
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Vampire Academy
- By: Richelle Mead
- Narrated by: Stephanie Wolf
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school—it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic, and half-human teens train to protect them. Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, a bodyguard for her best friend Lissa, a Moroi Vampire Princess. They’ve been on the run, but now, they’re being dragged back to St. Vladimir’s—the very place where they’re most in danger....
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Narrator is awful. They should re-record this book!
- By Amazon Customer on 12-18-18
By: Richelle Mead
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Way of the Wolf: Shifter Legacies 1
- By: Mark E. Cooper
- Narrated by: Mikael Naramore
- Length: 18 hrs and 21 mins
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Doctor David Lephmann wants nothing more than to learn about and help the less fortunate, and his new post at Mercy Hospital is the perfect place to do both. His mentor is desperate for the help, and welcomes him to a world of nonhuman customs and strange magics. One night after a long day at the hospital, David is confronted by the reality of life among monsters, when he intervenes in a fight he knows nothing about. He takes a side, and his life is changed forever.
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Vamps Wolves and more
- By Pat on 02-01-15
By: Mark E. Cooper
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Blood Song
- Blood Singer, Book 1
- By: Cat Adams
- Narrated by: Arika Escalona
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Bodyguard Celia Graves has definitely accepted her share of weird assignments, both human and supernatural. But her newest job takes the cake. Guarding a prince from terrorists and religious fundamentalists is hard enough, but it seems like the entire supernatural world is after this guy too. When she is betrayed by those she is employed to help, and everything goes horribly wrong, Celia wakes to find herself transformed. Neither human nor vampire, Celia has become an abomination-something that should not exist-and now both human and supernatural alike want her dead.
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Blood Song
- By Andrew on 05-15-12
By: Cat Adams
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Discount Armageddon
- InCryptid, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
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Overall
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The Price family has spent generations studying the monsters of the world, working to protect them from humanity - and humanity from them. Enter Verity Price. Despite being trained from birth as a cryptozoologist, she'd rather dance a tango than tangle with a demon, and is spending a year in Manhattan while she pursues her career in professional ballroom dance. Sounds pretty simple, right?
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I love this book!
- By a on 11-21-12
By: Seanan McGuire
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Storm Front
- The Dresden Files, Book 1
- By: Jim Butcher
- Narrated by: James Marsters
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
A call from a distraught wife, and another from Lt. Murphy of the Chicago PD Special Investigation Unit makes Harry believe things are looking up, but they are about to get worse, much worse. Someone is harnessing immense supernatural forces to commit a series of grisly murders. Someone has violated the first law of magic: Thou Shalt Not Kill. Tracking that someone takes Harry into the dangerous underbelly of Chicago, from mobsters to vampires....
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Excellent Story, Distracting Sound Engineering
- By Tom on 05-20-10
By: Jim Butcher
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An Unattractive Vampire
- By: Jim McDoniel
- Narrated by: Drew Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.
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Blood, Guts and lots of laughs!
- By Aaron on 08-27-16
By: Jim McDoniel
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Dead to Me
- Simon Canderous, Book 1
- By: Anton Strout
- Narrated by: David DeVries
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A new urban fantasy featuring a man working on the right side of the law - with talents that come from left field. Psychometry - the power to touch an object and divine information about its history - has meant a life of petty crime for Simon Canderous, but now he's gone over to the good side. At New York's underfunded and (mostly) secret Department of Extraordinary Affairs, he's learning about red tape, office politics, and the basics of paranormal investigation. But it's not the paperwork that has him breathless.
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Fun - worth the credit
- By BikeVON on 08-03-12
By: Anton Strout
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Bitten
- The Otherworld Series, Book 1
- By: Kelley Armstrong
- Narrated by: Aasne Vigesaa
- Length: 12 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Elena Michaels is the world’s only female werewolf. And she’s tired of it. Tired of a life spent hiding and protecting, a life where her most important job is hunting down rogue werewolves. Tired of a world that not only accepts the worst in her–her temper, her violence—but requires it. Worst of all, she realizes she’s growing content with that life, with being that person.
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Definitely written in the 2000s
- By Kathy Kuwano on 07-16-22
By: Kelley Armstrong
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What listeners say about The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- K
- 08-06-15
A light, humorous detour through the paranormal
Fred, the Vampire Accountant reads more like a collection of short stories, or perhaps it would be better compared to a television series. The characters are an interesting lovable bunch, and it plays like a series with everything wrapping up at the end of each tale, but with tidbits hinting at a long overarching story. I don't think it will ever win any awards for complexity, but Fred, the Vampire Accountant is a pleasant listen that will make you laugh. There seems to be plenty of set-up for a second volume, and I enjoyed this one enough to look forward to a sequel. As a final note, I will say Kirby Heyborne (the Narrator) seemed especially well suited for the main character.
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29 people found this helpful
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- Ozimandus
- 07-10-15
Very enjoyable
Well worth a credit, or the cost. Performance was excellent, story was very entertaining. The kind you hope turns into a series. Kind of reminded me of Dresden.
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4 people found this helpful
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- John
- 09-22-15
Interesting Concept...Lost in Translation
What made the experience of listening to The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant the most enjoyable?
The dialogue was well done, narration easy to listen...but the storyline was difficult to piece together. Crux of the story could have been told in 20 chapters...but the longer it continued, the more confusing it became...maybe confusing isn't the correct word...uninteresting might be better. The setup of the story was plausible (in a fantasy type way) but quickly lost comprehension once Amy came into the picture.
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- Yvette Hayes
- 04-03-20
Really a great read
I was impressed by both the story line and the Narrator. The only Complaint I have is that the story line could have been a little bit more in depth possibly the author could write a second book along this same story line. It was good.
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- Lisa Beasley
- 05-08-18
This book was worth the listen
Fun story, original perspectives, funny and creative character development; I am looking forward to hearing (or reading) the whole series - if there is one
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- L
- 10-06-18
slow to start
my sister reccomend this book as a series that she really enjoys. after the first 2 chapters she asked how I liked it, my response was meh at best. however I figured, it's not a bad book... I'll at least try to finish it. now that I've completed the first book I cant say it's the best thing I've ever read, however given how it ended I am very curious to start the second one and see where things go.
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- Alec
- 09-10-18
Expected better of Hayes
Realistically, this is a pretty ok book, but I’ll still be overly nit picky about it.
Performance was great, good differentiation on the voices between characters. Story felt lackluster, especially from Hayes (I’ve loved everything else I’ve read from him). The characters are all interesting, it just didn’t seem like he went far enough developing them in this book. Don’t know if this is one of his earlier works, or what, but this one has me doubting if I’ll bother getting the sequel. I had 2 main gripes about this book. The first was a reintroduction of characters and plot points at the beginning of chapters (even if those characters or plot points had been the primary focus of the previous chapter). The second issue was the lack of connectivity between the chapters. By that, it feels like a bunch of independent stories from a characters life told in chronological order, but aside from character introductions, it doesn’t feel like the results of the previous chapter really impact the next, like in a traditional story. I guess that is why the book is called “The ... tales of ...”, which I actually didn’t realize until writing this review. But basically what I’m getting at, and I think this addresses both of my problems with the book, is that it feels more like a collection of short stories that were than compiled into a book format.
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- G. R. Bradshaw
- 02-27-17
Funny, Tongue and Cheek, Book
The performance was excellent. The story, told from a journalistic reading standpoint, is humorous and silly.
Enjoyed the book a good deal look forward to hearing more. Have to say I am more partial to Drew Hayes' more complex story lines, like his Super Powered Series.
Overall, very enjoyable if not a little on the short side.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-20-17
accountants made funny
loved it! really enjoyed how the voice changed for different characters, made it more interesting.
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- Kathleen Glasscock
- 08-29-16
Hilarious!
A delightful lighthearted romp through the worlds of the undead. well-told with a droll sense of humor.
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