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Before You Split
- Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage
- Narrated by: Toni Nieuwhof
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
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Publisher's summary
A former divorce attorney lays out the hidden benefits of staying together, whether you’re frustrated with your marriage, on the brink of giving up completely, or simply want to strengthen your relationship to withstand the inevitable hard times.
“Toni Nieuwhof is the guide you’ve been waiting for. Deeply wise, genuinely empathetic, and uncommonly insightful, Toni is a fresh voice with tried and true experience that offers a proven roadmap.” (Ann Voskamp, New York Times best-selling author of The Broken Way and One Thousand Gifts)
If you’ve ever wanted to say, “I can’t do this anymore!” out of frustration with your marriage, you’re definitely not alone.
In this practical and insightful guide, former divorce attorney Toni Nieuwhof shows that even if you feel disconnected or stuck in your troubled marriage - and worry about its impact on your kids - there is a way forward.
Before You Split helps you find what you really want from your marriage and how to move forward to a better future by:
- seeing yourself and your spouse more clearly
- dealing with unrealistic expectations
- empowering you with constructive ways to respond to difficult emotions
- engaging the power of forgiveness
- increasing your peacemaking skills
- advancing your journey of personal growth
Even if it feels like it’s over, it’s not too late. Change takes place one step at a time. Before You Split will help you make choices with your eyes wide open.
Critic reviews
“Divorce is a serious decision with lifelong consequences. Toni has given people an excellent way to hit the pause button and really consider what is best. Thank you, Toni, for this contribution to such a difficult process.” (Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist and author)
“Toni Nieuwhof’s Before You Split offers practical guidance and time-tested advice to make it through the messy middle while building the marriage you’ve always wanted. If you’ve ever thought, I wonder what it would take to make my marriage awesome, then read this book.” (Jon Acuff, New York Times best-selling author of Finish)
“If you’re stuck in your marriage or know someone who is, Before You Split is the practical help you’re looking for. Toni Nieuwhof is not only someone we trust personally, but she’s also a voice that needs to be heard when more couples than ever find themselves struggling in ways they never expected.” (Mark Batterson, New York Times best-selling author and lead pastor of National Community Church)
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
By: Shasta Nelson
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Abridged
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In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
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Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
- Seven Questions to Ask Before - and After - You Marry
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- Narrated by: Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott
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More than a million couples can't be wrong! And with this updated edition of their award-winning book, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott help you launch lifelong love like never before. This is more than an audiobook - it's an experience. Get ready for deeper intimacy with the best friend you'll ever have. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, in more than 15 languages, is the most widely used marriage prep tool in the world.
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basically just a long advertisement
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
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- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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Break Through
- When to Give In, How to Push Back
- By: Tim Clinton, Pat Springle
- Narrated by: Christopher Prince
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When you really care about someone, it’s easy to get stuck in painful, even destructive patterns - caving in to a spouse’s manipulation, ignoring a live-at-home son’s irresponsibility, not confronting a friend’s addiction. We excuse people again and again, and then kick ourselves for not setting better boundaries. But this important audiobook, with its transformational tools from leading Christian counselor Tim Clinton and noted author Pat Springle, will guide you in not only breaking through to better relationships but making big changes for the better.
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Worth the read
- By Jessie on 12-29-19
By: Tim Clinton, and others
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys
- By: Mike Bechtle
- Narrated by: Mike Bechtle
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
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You don't have to be controlled by difficult people! Strange as it may seem, other people are not nearly as committed to our happiness as we are. In fact, sometimes it seems like they’re on a mission to make us miserable! There’s always that one person. The one who hijacks our emotions. The one who seems to thrive on drama. If we could just “fix” that person, everything would be better. But we can’t fix other people. We can only make choices about ourselves.
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Riddles With Religious Overtones
- By Y. Martin on 05-22-13
By: Mike Bechtle
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Loving Him Well
- Practical Advice on Influencing Your Husband
- By: Gary Thomas, Lisa Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Gary Thomas
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
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Women: you're not alone in your marriage. You never have been, and you never will be. While it may not always feel like it, God desires for you to have a relationally healthy, emotionally engaged, and spiritually mature husband with whom you can share your days. In Loving Him Well, Gary Thomas builds on concepts from his best-selling book Sacred Marriage to reveal the inner workings of a man's heart and mind. He delves into Scriptures that help women gain biblical insight to influence their husbands.
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A must read for any wife!
- By James on 04-03-18
By: Gary Thomas, and others
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Worthy of Her Trust
- What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back
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Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it's possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before. In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools to help your marriage begin again.
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Best Book on Building Trust
- By Layne & Rylan on 03-05-15
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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The Good Fight
- Wanting to Leave, Choosing to Stay, and the Powerful Practice for Loving Faithfully
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Hosts of the award-winning Whine Down podcast, Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin explore the raw and real moments of their marriage - what it means to love, to fight, and to sincerely forgive - with spiritual guidance and practical advice for anyone seeking stronger, more fulfilling love.
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Could’ve been a short article and not a book
- By J Klay on 11-01-20
By: Jana Kramer, and others
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
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Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage
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- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
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Learn to navigate life's twists and turns to find God's best for your marriage with the help of Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley. They'll lead you and your spouse to discover true love as described by God in the Bible. With candor and grace, these beloved marriage experts share the secrets of a strong marriage that yield a lifetime of adventurous and cray-zee love.
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Great book!!
- By Andrew Bratton on 01-10-24
By: Greg Smalley, and others
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What listeners say about Before You Split
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- India B.
- 01-17-22
Excellent and insightful
I would recommend to anyone contemplating divorce, separation or desperate for a change in your marriage.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-22-21
Great Listen
well done, hits home to so many different feelings you have when you are struggling.
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- Kate s
- 03-09-21
Invaluable reacource
Tonie does a masterful job of explaining in an honest and detailed way how devastating a divorce can be. Using research from the Gottman Institute as well as her own anecdotal stories, Tonie explains the three options one has as the subject of divorce is brought up. Her faith based approach has merit as well as wisdom. I’m so glad I have chosen to save my marriage and implement the tools Tonie gives to help
My marriage endure the rest of time.
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- mavrick
- 06-30-22
Opens your eyes to things you probably never thought about
Explains Scenarios almost a tea but it happened in my relationship gave suggestions and how to resolve or mitigate the issues. Explains how to deal with some of the emotions that sometimes seam overwhelming. The book will explain way to handle situation gives examples on what to do moving forward of followed without a doubt if both parties in the relationship follow and put in the same effort should save any marriage. I like that it does mention religion but does not push it onto and does not make you feel uncomfortable or feel like she is is putting you down because your not a religious person.
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- Debluvs2laf
- 05-29-21
Vulnerable, authentic, with practical advice
I loved this book! Toni speaks openly and honestly about the turbulent years in her marriage to a well known pastor. I found her telling of the ugly parts of their marriage and taking ownership of the parts she played, was nothing less than courageous. Anyone who's married can relate to some part of the struggle, and it shows us that pastors and their wives are not exempt from the promise of 1 Corinthians 7:28b [NIV]. It says "But those who marry will face many troubles in life" I admire her for sharing and shedding the light on a topic most people want to hide from friends and family. I'm sure Toni has changed the trajectory of some marriages through her vulnerability. I will recommend this to anyone I know who is experiencing an "unhappy" marriage. Thank you for writing this book. it will benefit many.
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- K Chris Goins
- 04-12-22
Essential Reading for Marriages In Distress
This book is essential reading for any and every marriage, especially those in distress. Wise insight coupled with practical application makes this one of the most helpful books on marriage I’ve read in some time. Read it asap.
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- Ron Pepper
- 02-07-22
Great Book
This is a great book to restore a marriage. My wife has filed for divorce and I sent this book to her. Now I can only pray that she listens and changes her mind.
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- Dillon smith
- 01-19-21
OUTSTANDING!
For anyone with a marriage that’s struggling, or anyone who helps struggling marriages, Before You Split is a must-read!
The mix of personal and professional experience that Toni offers is incredible.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-08-21
Must Read
this book was right on time for my marriage! it was just what I needed to hear. thank you so much for being transparent!
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- KLesh
- 11-04-21
Great applicable advice
Toni has a great way of helping one uncover feelings, options and ideas not necessarily easily to discover. Her insight has been invaluable to me.
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