When she was 26 years old, Megan Phelps-Roper left the Westboro Baptist Church with her sister--no small feat, considering that her grandfather, Fred Phelps, is the church's founder. While she was in the studio recording her memoir Unfollow, we asked Megan to share three titles that helped her navigate her journey of self-discovery. Here's what she told us.
When I think about books that have helped me navigate my life, there's no question that the book that's most influenced my life is the King James version of the Bible. I don't see it as the inerrant word of God anymore, but it contains so many principles that still guide my life, especially things like love your enemies and a soft tongue break at the bone. They're reminders to me that in circumstances where I feel most upset and tempted to respond forcefully, it's almost always more effective to respond in gentler ways.
The second book I think of is Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. When I first read Gilead, I remember being blown away by the enormous difference between the books protagonist John Ames, who's a congregationalist minister and my grandfather who was the pastor of my church. They just saw the world in wildly different ways. My grandpa saw the world is doomed, corrupt, and filthy, but John Ames was constantly noticing beauty in the most seemingly ordinary circumstances. He'd be filled with wonder and awe. Just thinking about the properties and uses of water. I don't want to be ignorant of the bad things happening in the world, but I also don't want those things to blind me to the incredible beauty of life.
The third book I think about when I think about what has shaped my life is Although of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself. This is a book of conversations between David Lipsky and the writer David Foster Wallace during the end of Wallace's tour for his book, Infinite Jest. He was interviewing him for a profile on rolling stone during one of the conversations, Wallace mentions taking a year long break from college to drive a bus and read books. It might seem like a small thing, but for a girl like me who had always been crazy focused on efficiency and not wasting time on following the clear and responsible path, it was an inspiration. The idea that sometimes you need to step off the path that you need to pause and wander and explore and that there's real value in that. That was an inspiration to me and it helped reframe how I think about life.
