Gritty Friendships

Bringing Purpose and Value to Male Relationships

De: Dr. Carlyle Snider Naylor

Narrado por: Dr. Carlyle Snider Naylor

Duración: 4 h y 58 m

Resumen del Editor

Fed up with surface-level friendships that make you feel disconnected from the full human experience? Then it's time to get gritty!

Life is busy, and as a man, you’ve been conditioned to keep yourself guarded, standing strong and keeping your thoughts and feelings inside you.

There’s greatness in that strength, but do you ever feel like you’re missing out?

You have no shortage of male friendships, but some of them feel like they rarely go beyond the surface, and there are too many old friends who have drifted away over the years.

Perhaps you watch your wife with her friends and marvel at how deep their conversations go… You feel the same way as they do sometimes, but no one’s ever asked you about it.

Male loneliness is an often overlooked issue in today’s society. Research has found that men report having fewer close friends than their counterparts 30 years ago.

Between career pressures, family life, and the societal expectations that have made it hard for them to open up, many men are struggling… and if you feel like you’re part of that group, you’re definitely not alone.

As humans, we’re wired for connection – men and women alike – and this idea that men are somehow removed from that does nothing to ensure you get what you need.

So what can you do? How can you reach out and secure the bonds that are important to you?

There are a few key issues you’ll need to look at to feel comfortable making the deep and meaningful connections you long for – and this unique guide to unearthing the gritty male friendships you already have in front of you will steer you through them all.

©2024 Dr. Carlyle Snider Naylor (P)2024 Dr. Carlyle Snider Naylor

What men need for today’s world

This book is so relevant and practical for the times we are living in. Dr. Naylor does a wonderful job of integrating his own story into the narrative. So encouraging and motivating!

This book is long overdue

Carlyle Naylor's “Gritty Friendships” is a book that is long overdue in terms of topic, relevance and timing. It should be the cornerstone of any church men's group, and a must-read for any man who wants more authenticity in their relationships with other men.

Not only does Carlyle explain why men need more quality friendships, he explains how to be a better friend. That training is desperately needed.

Carlyle suggests the average man has only five close relationships with guys who know them well and desire to spend meaningful time with them. Personally, I think that number is overly-optimistic.

Most males in the last 50 years are either growing up without their biological fathers, or they are being fathered by men who have no desire to be dads in the first place. As a result, boys are growing up without role models who are genuinely interested in them as people or in their well-being. Boys learn at an early age that they need to fend for themselves.

Thanks to bullying being tolerated in every grade, young men learn very early to wall off their feelings and to keep their vulnerabilities well hidden. They learn the hard way a friend today is a new bully tomorrow, or someone who will publicly-expose their admitted weaknesses to others for a bump in popularity.

Without being shown what a strong, mutually-beneficial relationship with another male looks like, men seek affirmation from women instead – and that's a role for which women are woefully ill-equipped to provide. Consequently, men tend to isolate themselves from others by building walls to protect against arrows intentionally aimed at them and their heart.

My parents were divorced when I was 8 years old. For years, I grew up only in the company of women. Thank goodness for a highly-involved and well-led Boy Scout troop which exposed me to several dedicated fathers as well as other teens who were trying to figure out life as fathered-less sons.

Still, with very few exceptions, nearly every man who has ever entered my life has left in eight years or less. I may speak with them once or twice a year, but can they be described as “friends?”

As men get older, and the few friends they have either move away, die or disappear, the number of male friendships continues to decline because new relationships aren't being formed. It contributes to the soul-crushing loneliness most men feel today.

The good news is that YOU have the power to change that, and Carlyle's book will show you how. He developed a very simple formula that really works. I have followed it myself to form new relationships.

It starts with overcoming fear to be the first to make an introduction, then seeking common interests, asking answerable questions to express genuine interest, following up to minimize sharer's remorse, and repeating the process to maintain the initiative.

Do yourself a favor and "get gritty" with other men today. There is strength and acceptance in numbers through genuine, mutually-committed friendships.

Highly educational and engaging

Real life situations helped keep the educational topics interesting and gave insight for how to apply to my life. I'm inspired by this book to put some of the practices into action and build Gritty relationships. Legacy was a great way to close out the book.