The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition

De: Patricia Evans

Narrado por: Annette Romano

In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the best-selling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.

In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the outside stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse - and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the levels of abuse that characterize this kind of behavior - from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.

Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse - and the abuser.

This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

©2009 Patricia Evans (P)2018 Simon & Schuster

Extremely informative

I was able to relate to the examples given and use the language with my partner as well as show him what he was doing. It is an excellent resource.

Great resource!

A must read for anyone struggling with this confusing topic! Very easy to understand r and helpful resource !

I knew something was wrong!

This book opened my eyes in so many ways. I knew something was wrong, even that I was being verbally abused, never that about how it was affecting me and my son. After listening to most of this book I made a plan to leave.

Sheded light

I am very glad i heard this book and now i can spot when my husband says something abusive and can sense how it make me feel and give my feelings trust. my feelings dont lie. I recommend it!

Total eye opener

Definitely an eye opener. There were so many things that I tolerated not realizing that they were verbal abuse, and from my previous marriage/relationships/family. Full of insight and tools and tips on how to set firm boundaries, get out of situations, and if children are involved, ways to help shield them from the abuse. One hundred percent recommend.

Saved me!

This book was what I needed. I never understood abuse for what it is. This book explained it and gave me the tools that I needed to self protect. “Abusive statements are lies about you told to you. They violate your boundaries. The abuser invades your mind makes up a story about your motives and then tells it to you. Accusing and blaming involves lies about your intentions, attitude, motives. Makes you want to explain yourself. “

“Judgments and criticism are lies about ones qualities and performance. They are blows to self-esteem. Defining you violates your personal boundaries. “

Be prepared to be triggered

Very good and very insightful. I felt seen and validated. I cried and seen many parallels in my relationships. This is the first step in establishing healthy boundaries for myself.

Eye Opening

This book is very informative and very well written. This is a great tool for anyone in or before they are in a relationship.

Caution is needed

The book is very definite and sure as to who is the abusive person, and why they behave like this, And that
they should be given rigid limits.
My wife did use a lot this kind of verbal/ emotional patterns of guilt, anger withdrawal mentioned in the book.
Listening to the book made me be very hard on my limits to this and my right for respect.
This book is very definite about it.
I thought my wife was abusive, and maybe it was somewhat true,
But after couple counseling, I realized that some actual things that were disturbing her, and it was not only to
gain control over me. Also the therapist recommended actually to ignore much of this communication (when I ignore it
it doesn't mean I accept it. I just dont fight all the time). I also need to improve my own behavior.
My point is that if you just want to separate, then no problem. If you read this book, its definite tone, might make you angry and righteous. If you want to give a chance to improve your relationships, you can listen to it. But you might want to have some different points of view also, from other books maybe, or counseling.
You may easily get the wrong impression that your relationship is abusive or there is no repair, when it might not be abusive, and it might be repaired.
All is individual of course, and depends on your own relationship.
Maybe your relationship is abusive and unlikely to be repaired
My relationship did improve a lot, and is improving still, although I was very desperate.
Another point is that even according to this book there is something you do that enables this relationship to happen.
And it might be hard and take time recognise to improve. Just blaming and separating might take you to a similar relationship.

Important if you are struggling in relationships

This book is excellent at identifying camouflaged abuse tactics, it identifies the damage caused by this abuse and offers solutions in how to work through the relationship if you choose to stay.