The Size 15 Runner contradicts himself countless times while explaining why runners should never judge each other's shoes and gear; he lists the top reasons why running is more exciting than driving; and he presents an all-new drug that's proven to improve runners' physical appearance after their runs. The side effects are...mostly harmless.

• Should You Judge Runners? Confession: I can’t help but check people out when I run. I’m an equal opportunity starer — both men and women catch my wandering eye. But I’m not gawking at their bodies — that'd make me a creep. No, instead, I examine the running gear they choose to wear...and make sure to never judge them. Ok, not never.

• Comparing Running vs. Driving: As a straight male, I’m supposed to drool, mouth agape, over fast cars, loud motorcycles, and anything else with an engine and tires. But I gain far more pleasure from joyful runs than joy rides. Discover why I’d rather tie shoelaces than fasten a seatbelt.

• How Runners Look Before vs. After Running: Everyone looks good BEFORE a run—well, not everyone. But AFTER a run is a different story. Two-Face isn’t just a notorious Batman villain. For runners, it’s the unfortunate condition we’re stricken with, before and then after running. Luckily, I'm here to present an all-new drug that's sure to improve a runner's appearance...with some mild side effects.

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