Welcome back to another episode of ADHD reWired. Our guest today is Dr. Gilly Khan, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist who specializes in working with children, teens, and young adults dealing with anxiety, depression, and ADHD. In this episode, Dr. Khan shares her personal journey with ADHD, discusses the impact of hormonal fluctuations on ADHD symptoms, and offers practical advice on improving emotional regulation and social skills.

Dr. Gilly Khan was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 33, a revelation that came as no surprise to her. Like many women, she had suspected for years that she might have ADHD. Her journey towards diagnosis began when she noticed ADHD symptoms in her young daughter, leading her to seek a diagnosis for herself. Encouraged by a colleague who was open about her ADHD diagnosis, Dr. Khan decided to embrace her neurodiversity and advocate for herself and her clients.

One of the most significant insights Dr. Khan offers is the connection between hormones, particularly estrogen, and ADHD symptoms. She explains that hormonal fluctuations can significantly impact mood, memory, and overall ADHD symptoms. This is crucial for women, especially during periods of hormonal change such as menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause.

Dr. Khan shares her personal experience with migraines, which she began having in college, and later discovered were linked to estrogen levels. Her experience highlights the importance of considering hormonal influences when diagnosing and treating ADHD in women.

Dr. Khan emphasizes that medication can significantly help reduce ADHD symptoms, including emotional dysregulation. However, she also discusses the importance of practical strategies to manage emotions. One key approach is to take a time-out when feeling overwhelmed and practice coping skills like deep breathing in a calm environment before re-engaging with the situation.

Dr. Khan's recommendation to include parents in the process is particularly insightful. Coaching parents to help their children recognize emotional dysregulation and use coping strategies can make a significant difference.

Addressing social skills, Dr. Khan discusses the effectiveness of social skills groups, especially when tailored to the needs of neurodivergent individuals. She notes the importance of applied practice and the role of parents in coaching their children outside of therapy sessions.

For adults with ADHD, Dr. Khan suggests finding activities and clubs that align with their interests to facilitate meeting like-minded individuals. She also highlights the importance of planning social interactions, just like planning professional activities, to maintain relationships.

Both Eric and Dr. Khan share personal anecdotes about the challenges of remembering names and maintaining social connections. Practical tips such as using a planner to schedule social activities and taking photos to remember names illustrate how even small strategies can make a big difference.

Dr. Khan stresses the importance of self-advocacy and educating oneself about ADHD. She advises seeking out credible resources and being prepared to discuss specific symptoms and experiences with healthcare providers. Her message is clear: understanding and advocating for one’s own neurodiversity is crucial for effective treatment and self-acceptance.

Dr. Gilly Khan’s insights provide a deeper understanding of the complexities of ADHD, particularly in women. From the impact of hormonal fluctuations to practical strategies for emotional regulation and social skills, her expertise offers valuable guidance for both individuals with ADHD and those supporting them.

To learn more about Dr. Gilly Khan, her work, and her upcoming book on emotional dysregulation, visit her website at drgillykhan.com and follow her on Instagram at @drgillykhan.

Thank you for tuning into ADHD reWired. If you found this episode helpful, consider supporting the podcast on Patreon, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Together, we can continue to learn, grow, and support one another in our ADHD journeys.

*Shownotes generated by Ai

In episode 539 of ADHD reWired, host Eric Tivers welcomes neurodivergent coach Vida Carey, who specializes in sex and relationships. Together, they dive into conversations about sexuality, intimacy, and the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals in these areas. Vida shares her experiences and provides insights on discussing sex openly, defining kink, exploring different relationship structures, and addressing sexual desires in a shameless and authentic manner. The episode emphasizes the importance of communication, understanding personal needs, and fostering intimacy while managing ADHD. Additionally, the podcast highlights resources and support available through ADHD reWired’s coaching programs and virtual community.

** Learn more about ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups **

Navigating ADHD and Intimacy:

Conversations with Neurodivergent Coach Vida Carey In episode 539 of ADHD reWired, host Eric Tivers welcomes Vida Carey, a neurodivergent coach specializing in sex and relationships, who emphasizes comfort through humor and candid vulnerability. The discussion delves into the unique challenges of navigating sexual intimacy for those with ADHD, including overcoming societal norms, advocating for oneself, and understanding hyper- and hyposexuality. Vida shares her insights on redefining sex, utilizing intimacy menus, and having open conversations about one's desires. Additionally, the episode addresses the importance of developing healthy communication practices in relationships and offers a humorous yet candid look into making sex a more comfortable topic for neurodivergent individuals. The episode closes with reflections on how neurodivergent couples can better understand and support each other's needs.

00:00 Introduction to ADHD reWired

01:08 Meet Coach Vida Carey

02:36 Navigating Sex and Relationships

05:13 Understanding Kink and Communication

07:31 Advocating for Yourself in the Bedroom

10:16 Exploring Sexual Desires and Intimacy

18:33 Sex Rewards and Intimacy Menus

22:33 ADHD reWired Coaching Groups

28:38 Hyper and Hyposexuality in Neurodivergent Brains

30:44 The Reality of Life and Sex

31:48 Hypersexuality vs. Sexual Addiction

32:49 Exploring Relationship Structures

36:32 Navigating Intimacy and Communication

38:27 The Journey to Intimacy Coaching

41:41 Common Questions About Sex

47:51 The Importance of Communication in Sex

56:01 Final Thoughts and Resources

Episode 538 of the ADHD reWired podcast, hosted by Eric Tivers, addresses the complexities and intersections of neurodivergence (ADHD and autism) and LGBTQ identities. The episode features a panel discussion from a NeuroDivergent Pride event, co-hosted by Chris Wang from Shimmer. The panel includes Eric, Nate, and Vida, who share their personal journeys of coming out as queer and neurodivergent. They discuss the challenges of navigating societal expectations, masking, and the importance of supportive communities. The episode also emphasizes the impact of visibility and advocacy in both the ADHD and LGBTQ communities, encouraging listeners to join supportive spaces and take steps to be proud of their identities.

03:24 NeuroDivergent Pride Panel Introduction

09:14 Panelists Share Their Stories

22:34 Exploring Neurodivergent and Queer Identities

31:55 Impact of Heteronormative and Neurotypical Expectations

38:04 High-Level Masking and Personal Experiences

38:50 Coming Out and Family Reactions 40:40 Navigating Identity and Cultural Expectations

43:37 Unmasking and Embracing Neurodivergence

46:06 Challenges of Masking and Survival Strategies

53:30 The Continuous Process of Coming Out

01:04:12 Getting Involved in Neurodivergent and LGBTQ Communities

01:13:29 Conclusion and Final Thoughts