In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist, trainer, and author Andy Baker unpacks Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)—or as many now prefer to call it, a Persistent Drive for Autonomy.

If you’ve ever supported someone—child or adult—who seemed to resist even the simplest of requests, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Andy explores:

• What PDA is (and why language matters)

• Why traditional behaviour strategies often make things worse

• How to shift from confrontation to collaboration

• Practical, compassionate strategies for reducing anxiety and increasing cooperation

This episode is a must-listen for parents, carers, teachers, and support staff seeking a more empathetic and effective approach to neurodivergent behaviour.

Instagram – @abletraininguk

• Facebook – Able Training

• LinkedIn – Andy Baker

In this deeply personal and powerful conversation, Andy Baker speaks to Sabina Thorpe—a mum, carer, business leader, and woman who grew up silenced by a stammer and the weight of cultural expectations.

Sabina opens up about her childhood experiences of bullying, being told to stay quiet, and feeling utterly alone. But she also shares how she turned those struggles into strength—first by learning to speak for herself, and then by building a call centre, multiple businesses, and eventually co-founding DeskVal, an AI-powered property valuation platform now disrupting the industry.

This isn’t just a story of business—it’s a story of identity, resilience, and the power of being seen and heard.

Whether you're caring for others, raising children, teaching young minds, or trying to reclaim your own voice, this episode will stay with you.

carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare

• 🌐 Sabina Thorpe on LinkedIn

• 🏡 DeskVal – AI Property Valuations

• 📲 Follow Sabina on Instagram

• 🎥 Interview: Sabina’s Journey to DeskVal

• 📰 Roma Finance launches DeskVal

• 📘 Instagram – @abletraininguk

• LinkedIn – Andy Baker

• Facebook – Able Training

• Website - Able Training

We teach more with our tone, facial expressions, and reactions than with any lesson plan. In this powerful solo episode, Andy Baker explores the concept of the hidden curriculum—the silent lessons we teach every day through our behaviour, body language, and boundaries.

Whether you're a parent, teacher, carer or support worker, you're constantly delivering messages—about safety, empathy, trust, and identity—without even realising it. So what are people really learning from you?

This episode will help you become more intentional about your presence and model the values you want to pass on.

www.ablehub.uk – Free 14-day trial for carers and educators

Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

1. Behaviour is curriculum. Every sigh, smile, or boundary teaches something. Children and adults alike copy what they see, not what they’re told.

2. Emotional safety is taught through presence. Calm body language, empathy, and clear boundaries teach regulation, identity, and self-worth.

3. Reflecting on our own hidden lessons is essential. Understanding what we unintentionally learned—and may still be teaching—helps break cycles and shape better futures.

• 00:00 – What is the hidden curriculum?

• 00:27 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK

• 01:47 – We teach with more than our words

• 02:36 – How stress, tone & facial expressions model behaviour

• 04:50 – Mirror neurons, empathy, and emotional contagion

• 06:30 – Auditing your tone and actions

• 07:54 – Subtle shaming: schools, police, and healthcare narratives

• 09:02 – Stigma, ageism, and unconscious bias

• 09:16 – Naming the learning out loud

• 09:38 – “Do you want a hug, help, or to be heard?”

• 10:30 – Aligning boundaries with compassion

• 11:07 – Emotional literacy and modelling empathy

• 11:59 – What hidden curriculum are we passing on as a team?

• 12:46 – Final thoughts: What are YOU teaching without knowing?

This episode is essential listening for anyone who works with or supports others—especially parents, teachers, carers, and leaders.

You’ll walk away with:

• A deeper awareness of the emotional messages you send daily

• Practical tools to model calm, empathy, and safety

• Insight into how to reflect and adjust the unspoken lessons you teach

Whether you’re raising children or leading teams, the hidden curriculum you deliver shapes lives.

In this must-listen guide for families, carers, and professionals, Able to Care host Andy Baker is joined by Meghan Earle, Able Training’s passionate and experienced lead dementia trainer.

Together, they unpack some of the most important—but often misunderstood—questions about dementia:

• What actually is dementia?

• What are the early signs (beyond memory loss)?

• How do we communicate and engage meaningfully as dementia progresses?

• What systems and mindsets need to change to truly support people living with dementia?

With stories from training rooms and care homes across the UK, Meghan shares expert insights and real-life tips to empower carers with confidence, clarity, and compassion.

Order your card todayDementia Forward – Support & Helpline

• Alzheimer’s Society – Types of Dementia

• Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

• Able Training Dementia Courses

1. “It’s not just memory loss.” Dementia affects different parts of the brain—vision, language, personality, perception—and every person’s journey is unique.

2. “Distress is not a symptom—it’s a signal.” Aggression, withdrawal, and agitation often stem from unmet needs or environmental overwhelm—not the dementia itself.

3. “Connection matters more than correction.” Responding with empathy, not facts, is key. Join people in their world, honour their emotions, and meet them where they are.

• 00:00 – Welcome & Sponsor: Carers Card UK

• 01:10 – Meet Meghan Earle: Lead dementia trainer & lived experience

• 02:00 – What is dementia (really)?

• 03:30 – Why “just dementia” is never enough: the importance of diagnosis

• 05:00 – The problem with Google, misinformation & medical labels

• 06:45 – Understanding how dementia affects different parts of the brain

• 08:00 – Early signs of dementia beyond memory loss

• 10:00 – The emotional experience of diagnosis & stigma

• 12:45 – You are not alone: support systems that help

• 15:00 – Why meaningful engagement matters & what it looks like

• 20:00 – Behaviour, communication & the power of asking “why?”

• 25:00 – Mistakes carers make (and how to fix them)

• 30:00 – The “I want to go home” moment—what to say instead

• 36:00 – Escalation, distress & why prevention beats reaction

• 42:00 – Why care home environments need rethinking

• 47:00 – Dementia training: what makes it work?

• 52:00 – Don’t give up—there’s always something else to try

• 55:00 – Final thoughts: empathy, intention & learning together

This episode is essential for anyone supporting a loved one—or working with people—living with dementia. You’ll leave with a clearer understanding, greater confidence, and real-world strategies for:

✅ Communicating calmly and meaningfully ✅ Spotting distress and responding with care ✅ Accessing support before crisis hits ✅ Shifting from correction to connection

Whether you’re a carer, support worker, nurse, or family member—this is your practical and emotional guide to dementia care done right.

• 🎧 Listen to more episodes: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Are consequences the only way to manage behaviour? In this thought-provoking solo episode, behaviour specialist and trainer Andy Baker challenges one of the most commonly accepted ideas in parenting, education, and care: that consequences are the best way to teach behaviour.

From the science of brain regulation to trauma-informed practice and real-world stories, Andy shares six powerful, research-backed strategies that are not only more effective—but also kinder. Whether you're a parent, teacher, support worker or carer, this episode will shift your mindset and give you tools to build connection instead of control.

Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts. Carers Card UK offers:

• ID card with emergency info access
• Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more

Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today

• Polyvagal Theory – Explained by NICABM

• Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

1. Punishment isn't teaching—it’s suppression. True behaviour change comes from teaching, not controlling. Consequences alone rarely build long-term learning or emotional resilience.

2. Connection is the most powerful behaviour tool we have. Co-regulation, empathy, storytelling and reflection help build the skills needed to manage behaviour from the inside out.

3. Investing time upfront saves time later. It may feel quicker to impose a consequence, but when we use modelling and skill-building instead, we reduce repeat incidents.

• 00:00 – Consequences aren’t the only tool

• 00:25 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK

• 01:46 – Why we default to punishment: evolution, culture, behaviourism

• 03:46 – How punishment creates a cycle of low self-esteem

• 04:50 – The brain under stress: why consequences fail when dysregulated

• 05:37 – Shame, deflection, and emotional safety

• 06:00 – The 6 teaching tools that work better than consequences:

  • 1. Modelling

    1. Practice & rehearsal

    1. Co-regulation

    1. Reflection & repair

    1. Storytelling & metaphor

    1. Natural/logical consequences

• 13:52 – What about accountability?

• 15:23 – Is this all too “soft”? Or is it strategic?

• 16:22 – Weekly challenge: replace one consequence with a teaching tool

This episode flips the script on how we teach behaviour—whether you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or support worker. You’ll walk away with practical, compassionate alternatives to traditional discipline, rooted in psychology, neuroscience and real-life application.

If you’ve ever asked: ➡️ “What else can I do when consequences don’t work?” ➡️ “How can I improve behaviour without shouting or punishment?” ➡️ “How do I teach better choices in the moment?”

—then this episode is a must-listen.

In this powerful episode, Andy Baker is joined by Lee Crouch, a father, advocate, and author of Lee’s Journey, who opens up about his experience of losing his children to the care system—and the long, painful road to reunification. Lee discusses the trauma of forced separation, the flaws within social care systems, and how hope, consistency, and accountability helped rebuild his family.

With raw honesty and incredible humility, Lee speaks directly to parents, foster carers, and professionals—offering a unique insight into what real change and co-parenting can look like, even after unimaginable loss.

• Dementia UK: Admiral Nurses

• Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

1. You Can’t Co-Parent Without Trust—Even in the Care System Lee highlights how positive relationships between parents and foster carers are possible and powerful—with transparency, humility, and shared purpose.

2. Accountability and Hope Can Coexist Lee doesn’t shy away from the mistakes that led to his children’s removal. But he shows that ownership, emotional growth, and persistence can lead to reunification.

3. The System Must Change Its Lens Parents are not case files. Children are not tick boxes. Lee calls for earlier support, post-removal care for parents, and system accountability when placements fail.

• 00:00 – Intro & Carers Card UK sponsor

• 01:47 – Meet Lee: Author, father, and advocate

• 04:00 – The day everything changed: courtroom heartbreak

• 08:00 – Fighting the system & fighting for change

• 14:00 – Emotional transformation and vulnerability in men

• 20:00 – Sky, Leighton, Summer & Caden: the children’s individual journeys

• 28:00 – Co-parenting with foster carers vs. instability in placements

• 35:00 – Caden’s trauma: when the system fails a child

• 44:00 – Post-removal support (or lack of it)

• 52:00 – The fight for parental advocacy

• 58:00 – Reunification: where the children are now

• 01:04:00 – Final message to parents: Don’t give up hope

This is more than a podcast—it’s a call to action. Whether you’re a parent, social worker, foster carer, policymaker, or professional, Lee’s story offers a rare and deeply moving look at what real change, compassion, and collaboration can achieve.

You’ll leave this episode feeling challenged, heartbroken, and hopeful all at once.

📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Most of us think behaviour management is about stopping the outburst—but the truth is, what happens afterwards matters even more. In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks the power of repair after conflict and why it’s the most overlooked stage in care, education, and family life. Learn how repair builds trust, strengthens relationships, and prevents repeated incidents—whether you’re a parent, teacher, or carer.

💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK The Able to Care podcast is proudly sponsored by Order your card today

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• Dan Siegel’s Name it to Tame it principle

• Bowlby’s Attachment Theory

• Andy Baker’s relational response flow (Connect → Resolve/Correct → Record/Reflect)

🧠 Three Key Messages

1. Repair is not optional – Behaviour isn’t truly resolved until trust is rebuilt afterwards.

2. Brains learn in recovery, not in crisis – Reflection works only once calm has returned.

3. Repair strengthens relationships – Consistent repair fosters safety, resilience, and long-term positive outcomes.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps

• 00:00 – Why repair is the missing piece in behaviour management

• 02:00 – Understanding recovery vs. crisis learning

• 04:15 – The neuroscience of memory and the recency effect

• 06:00 – Repair, attachment theory, and building resilience

• 08:30 – Practical frameworks: feelings before facts & reflection models

• 11:00 – Real-world example: A parent choosing repair over confrontation

• 13:00 – The PERFORM framework for debrief and moving on

• 15:30 – Objections answered: “We don’t have time for repair”

• 17:30 – Final reflection: Trust is built in recovery, not calm

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’ve ever wondered why the same behaviours keep happening, this episode will shift your perspective. You’ll walk away with practical tools for:

• Rebuilding trust after conflict

• Supporting children, adults, or older people more effectively

• Saving time and energy by preventing repeat incidents This is essential listening for anyone in care, education, or parenting who wants stronger relationships and better outcomes.

🔗 Connect with Us

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker is joined by Mary Merheim, elderly nutrition consultant and author of Navigating Nutrition in Later Life. Mary shares practical insights into why appetite often declines with age, the hidden risks of malnutrition in older people, and the simple, everyday strategies carers can use to help loved ones eat well.

From small snack hacks to re-thinking mealtime as a social connection, this conversation is full of advice for parents, carers, and professionals who want to ensure dignity, independence, and better health through food.

💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK Carers Card UK provides support, recognition and rewards for carers across the country. From discounts on gym memberships, clothing and days out, to access to wellbeing tools and a supportive community, it’s all available for less than the price of a box of chocolates a year.

👉 Get your Carers Card today: Order your card today

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• Mary’s Website: marymerheim.co.uk

• Grand Bars (nutritious cake snacks): grandbarsnacks.com

• Mary’s Book: Navigating Nutrition in Later Life – available on Amazon

• Follow Mary on TikTok for short tips: @MaryMerheim

🧠 Three Key Messages

1. Every mouthful matters – older adults still need nutrient-dense food, not just calories.

2. Social eating boosts appetite – shared meals encourage connection and prevent loneliness.

3. Small changes go far – whole milk, eggs, oats, and fortified snacks can transform daily nutrition.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps 00:00 – Introduction & Sponsor: Carers Card UK 01:41 – Why nutrition in later life matters 06:00 – Why appetite often declines with age 12:00 – Signs of poor nutrition in older adults 20:00 – Food, mood, and the link to mental health 30:00 – Small changes that make a big difference 40:00 – Practical snack and meal ideas 50:00 – Real stories of nutrition improving lives 55:00 – Gadgets, adjustments, and independence 01:00:00 – Supporting people with dysphagia 01:02:00 – Where to find Mary Merheim & Grand Bars

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’ve ever worried about a loved one losing weight, refusing meals, or becoming frailer with age, this episode is essential listening. Mary provides evidence-based advice and compassionate guidance for carers and families navigating the tricky reality of appetite loss, malnutrition, and dignity in later life.

You’ll walk away with practical tips you can use straight away – from making small swaps in the kitchen to transforming mealtimes into moments of joy and connection.

🔗 Connect with Us 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk