Our kids have all types of feelings and emotions, and they may not yet know how to process those feelings and regulate their emotions. This can result in temper tantrums, yelling, crying, stealing, and expressing a wide array of behaviors that tend to drive us crazy as parents.

So what is our children's bad behavior REALLY trying to tell us? When kids act out, they are telling us that they have deep and strong emotions. They need to be heard; they need to have their feelings acknowledged and validated. They need us, as parents, to remain calm and in control, because when we are calm and in control, we make them feel safe. We need to be present for our children in a loving way, even when we set boundaries for them. We can let them know that they are not able to do something, while at the same time showing then compassion and empathy.

Emunah Steier, a psychiatrist, therapist, and mother of 3, who is passionate about family communication, shares the following tips for parents:

1. We need to cultivate our consciousness that our kids are innately good; they are precious, holy souls that were hand picked specifically for us to parent. We don't always know what is going on inside of them that causes them to behave a certain way, and we need to connect with them to open a dialogue so that they can share their thoughts and feelings with us.

2. We need to let our children know that ALL feelings are ok. Certain behaviors are not ok, but all feelings are acceptable.

3. When our children do something to trigger us, we need to realize that it's not really them who is triggering us; it's something that already exists within us that is being triggered. We then need to take some time to sit with ourselves and explore what it is inside of us that we need to address and heal.

Throughout our conversation, Emunah shares many examples and relatable personal stories that show how we can address 'bad' behavior with our good kids, while judging them favorably.

For further information, please email: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

How do we guide our older teens as they transition into adulthood? What is our job as parents? What role do we play in the lives of our teens?

Parenting coach and parenting workshop facilitator, Miriam Leibowtiz, answers these questions as she guides us in our parenting journey.

The job of a parent is to help our children develop into the person that he or she was created to be, even if who they are is different from the way we would have wanted them to be. As children grow into teenagers and young adults, parents shift from the role of caretaker to the role of guide. When parents treat their teens with warmth, give them unconditional love, and set boundaries for them, without imposing their will on their child, they are giving that child the space to figure out who they really are. Often, when we try to impose our will on our teens, they will have a counter will to resist what we tell them to do. We need to actively listen to them, allow them to express their feelings, validate their feels, and accept them for who they are--even if they are different from us.

As parents, we need to mourn and let go of the preconceived notions we had that our children were going to be a certain way. We need to feel our pain, and then to let go of it. We also need to have compassion on ourselves for the pain that we have gone through in our childhood. When we have empathy for ourselves, we will be able to be open to how our teens are feeling, and have empathy for them. This will help us have a soft heart and relate to our teens with love, which will foster connection.

Miriam explains the above concepts in beautiful detail.

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Whether you are a Jew living in Israel, Los Angeles, New York, or Mexico City, we are all part of one national collective soul. We are one family; one nation; one people. We are connected on an intrinsic, cellular level.

Miriam Tawil, founder and director of Midreshet Eshel, a Sephardic seminary in Eretz Israel, shares with us about the connection between Israeli Jews and Jews who live outside of Israel (diaspora Jews.) She reminds us that Jews are actually supposed to live in Israel. We were exiled from the Holy Land as a punishment, but the ultimate goal is for all Jews, from everywhere in the world, to come together to live in Israel. For those Jews who are thinking about making aliyah, Miriam encourages them to know their Why. Why do you want to come to Israel? Knowing your why gets you through the How.

Miriam says that there is something very special that binds together each and every Jew, no matter where they live. She also shares stories of Jews from various backgrounds (Ashkenazi, Sephardic, liberal, conservative, etc.) who come together to help each other. Jews give to other Jews, even if they don't know each other. There is something in the DNA of the Jewish people that enables them to be one big family.

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

The cruelest yetzer hara of our generation is that voice of 'being hard on ourselves.' Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT our own internal voice speaking negatively to us. Rather, it's our yetzer hara trying to get the best of us by putting us down. It's actually the voice of the yetzer hara (not our own internal voice) that is wreaking havoc on us by telling us that we are not good enough, in a variety of ways....we are too fat, lazy, our house is a mess, etc.

Nili Salem, a Torah teacher and a certified narrative therapist, shares with us some strategies to overcome this barrage of negativity. One tip she taught us was to:
#1. Identify a person who you love, admire, or care for.
#2. Imagine that the person your identified is going through exactly what you are going through and feeling exactly the way that you do. Think about what you would say to that person, and how you would say it (wording/tone of voice.)
#3. Most likely, you would speak in a compassionate way to that person. If so, speak to yourself in that same compassionate way. If you don't imagine yourself speaking to that person in a compassionate way, then do NOT speak to yourself in the demeaning way that you imagined yourself speaking to that other person.

Also, Nili reminded us that G-d is kind; everything about G-d is kind. So, if you hear a voice speaking to you in your head, and it's not kind, then it is NOT G-d. If it's not G-d, don't listen to it.

For further info, please email atrebetzins@gmail.com

Are you a single mother, widow or divorcee who dreads shabbos (shabbat)? Do you cry at the thought of having to spend shabbat alone, without your kids or anyone else to keep you company?

Yehudis Sherman felt the exact same way. After her divorce, she discovered, first hand, the loneliness that many women experience when they spend shabbat isolated from their families. In response to this situation, she created an organization called Mishpachtainu, to help other women, like herself, celebrate shabbat with joy, unity and the warmth of community. Mishpactainu is located in the Boro Park section of Brooklyn, but Jewish women from all over attend Yehudis' shabbat meals. She has a home that sleeps over 10 women, so out of town guests are welcome. Yehudis' shabbat table is beautifully decorated, and she cooks all different types of foods to accommodate everyone's diets (gluten free, etc.)

In addition to the shabbos meals, Yehudis offers a food pantry to provide women with basic household items from ketchup and napkins to tablecloths and makeup.

Mishpachtainu has helped many women make the turn around from lonely and depressed to supported and happy. They build a new network of friends from the women that they meet at Yehuds' shabbat table.

There is a significant cost in running Mishpachtainu. Yehudis is in need of financial donations, as well as donations of goods and services. For more information about the organization, and how to donate, visit

mightymoms.love

You can also donate via Zelle: donate@mishpachtainu.org

To learn more about Mishpachtainu, visit: https://www.mishpachtainu.org/

You can also email me, and I will put you in touch with Yehudis: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Talking to your kids about sex might be embarrassing or uncomfortable, but it's an important topic, and we have to talk about it. The truth is that if we don't talk to our kids about sex, they are going to find out about it from other kids or other sources (possibly the internet.) We want our kids to know our values about sex, and learn the correct information, preferably from us.

Rebbetzin Dr. Hadassah Fromson, a sought after kallah teacher, sex therapist and counselling psychologist, helps guide us in talking to our kids about a subject that many parents find taboo. She suggests that parents talk to children about sex in bits and pieces, starting off at a very young age. She also encourages us to use the proper clinical terminology for our body parts. We need to feel comfortable using words like 'penis' and 'vagina.' Our kids need to see that we are being open and honest with them about the subject of sex. When parents are comfortable talking about a subject (any subject), it gives kids the confidence to feel that we know what we are talking about and that we are giving them factual information.

Rebbetzin Dr. Hadassah tells us that we should take cues from our children about what we should talk about. In other words, we need to be open to answering their questions, no matter how sexual and detailed they might be. We want to be the person that our kids come to about sex, and if we don't answer their questions, they will find out from somebody else. However, she cautions us to create boundaries. We are our children's parents, not their friends. Do not give them details about what happens in your bedroom. That information is private, just between the couple.

We need to respect our children as individuals and give them the answers to difficult questions. This way, they will be more apt to turn to us when they have an issue or a challenge, especially if they are being peer pressured to have sex.

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Have you tried every diet? Keto? Paleo? Weight Watchers?
Have you spent hours at the gym, even hired a personal trainer?
Are you not able to lose weight, no matter what you do?

Tanya Rosen, founder of Nutrition by Tanya, is a nutritionist, life coach, and personal trainer who has helped hundreds of men and women lose weight and keep it off! She believes in balanced eating, and shows her clients exactly how to do it, according to their food preferences and how much weight they need to lose.

Tanya shares her own personal story about how she lost 50 pounds after her first pregnancy, and has maintained the weight loss ever since...even after have 4 more kids via C-section!

In my conversation with Tanya, she shares practical tips and tools for people to start losing and maintaining their weight today. Some tips that she offers include:

1. Weight maintenance is a lifetime commitment--it's not a one time diet, it's a healthy lifestyle change.

2. Get the right support group. You need to be around like-minded people who have the same goals as you, or are willing to support you as you move toward your goals. This could be friends, family, or even professional support. You need accountability.

3. Drink 8-10 cups of water per day. Or, if you prefer to know how many ounces you need to drink, take your body weight and divide by 2. This is how many ounces of water you need to drink per day. (For example, if you weigh 150 pounds, 150/2=75, so you need to drink 75 ounces of water per day.)

4. Drink 2 cups of water before every meal. This way, you eat fewer calories because you will be less hungry--water takes up space in your stomach.

To reach out to Tanya, please contact her through her website:
https://nutritionbytanya.com/

To contact the host of America's Top Rebbetzins, email: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

How do your survive domestic abuse? Maybe you are married to an abusive or neglectful person. Maybe you had parents who would yell, scream and/or hit you. Most people who are in abusive or neglectful relationships develop physical symptoms as a sign of their emotional trauma--thyroid issues, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, autoimmune illnesses.

Dr. Miriam Adahan, a psychologist, therapist, popular author, and founder of EMETT (Emotional Maturity Established Through Torah), has over 60 years of experience in counseling, lecturing and writing. In this candid interview, Dr. Adahan shares tools and practical strategies for surviving if you are in an abusive relationship. She also has tips and techniques for parents to teach their children about how to be resilient and stay emotionally strong, operating from the pre-frontal cortex (the smart brain), and not from the amygdala (the baby brain.)

The first thing that Dr. Adahan suggests to people who are (or have been) abused, is to recognize that you are a SURVIVOR. Understand that you were conditioned to believe that you were unworthy, but the OPPOSITE is true; YOUR ARE WORTHY.

Next, stop feeling like you are a failure--YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!

Practice radical acceptance that you are in this situation/circumstance because Hashem wants you to be here right now (it doesn't mean forever, but for right now, this is where He wants you to be.) Say the DAYEINU prayer. (If you email me at atrebbetzins@gmail.com I will send you the prayer.)

Stay physically healthy--take multivitamins, Vitamin B with FOLATE (not folic acid), Vitamin D with K2. Stay away from sugar. You should exercise, meditate, and do breathing exercises.

Disengage when you are around your abuser--be nice and polite, protective of yourself and shallow in your responses (don't engage in an argument; don't take things personally), and be compassionate to yourself.

Dr. Adahan give us some tips from her book, Raising Spiritual Champs, Including Yourself! It can be purchased on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Spiritual-Champs-Hardcover-Miriam/dp/1614659370

This is the kids version of the book, called, Solution Champs:
https://www.amazon.com/Solution-Champs-Miriam-Adahan/dp/1614658099

Dr. Adahan talks about all these things and more! This conversation has so much information that is necessary for you to survive and THRIVE.

For further information, email me at atrebbetzins@gmail.com