Conflict often shows up in relationships. Especially for those who have been through some form of childhood trauma or been at boarding school.

We weren't taught how to resolve conflict in a heart-centred way. Instead we learned to avoid conflict at all costs. For many it was seen as dangerous.

But there is a positive and life affirming way to resolve difficulties in relationships with others.

And today's guest, Kimberly Best, who is an expert in this field leads us through the key principles of conflict management.

A really fascinating conversation.

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Kimberly Best is a civil mediator and is currently serving her second term on the board of the Tennessee Association of Professional Mediators as Chair/President. She also have over 4 decades as a licensed registered nurse and an MA from the Institute of Conflict Management, Lipscomb University.

Areas to talk about:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Men and interpersonal conflict.
3. Why do men keep so much stored up inside themselves?
4. What are some of the of rules and expectations that we put on men?
5. What do we need to do instead of instilling rules and expectations?
6. How important is it to be heard without judgement and validated, so much locked emotion comes out. It is sacred to share those moments.
7. Can you please share some tips on conflict management, the emotional experience and/or why we do conflict like we do?
8. Can you please talk about how conflict is normal.
9. It’s a sign of a problem to solve and just because people don’t agree with us doesn’t mean they’re against us - it means they’re different from us.
10. I talk about the cost of right/wrong, win/lose; the stories we tell ourselves about the other person; the uselessness of blame.
11. One of the most common for men is trying to mitigate for someone else’s feelings - a commitment to “not upset.”
12. I talk about being honest about what goes on with us and letting the other person feel however they need to. Conflict resolution is about the “what next?”
13. I also really like to talk about using mediation as a tool for conflict resolution - at work and with interpersonal relationships.

#conflictmanagement #conflictresolution #boardingschooltrauma #complexptsd

To find out more about her please visit: https://www.bestconflictsolutions.com/mediation-practice

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

What is the path of recovery from childhood trauma, abuse and boarding school syndrome?

What does it look like?

Today I am talking with Bryn Edwards about his journey of recovery. Bryn went to boarding school from age 8-18. He was a complier. 1st XV Rugby, and sportsman.

He also talks about colonisation and how that links to boarding school.

He talks about the difference between trauma and abuse. And he shares his ideas around the inner indigenous (a subject Nick Duffell explores in Wounded Leaders) and what we can do to reconnect to it.

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Bryn Edwards has worked in the dynamic field of organisational and cultural psychology, solving problems at the intersection of culture, team performance, and individual mental and emotional health for many years. He hosted the WA Real Podcast for 4 years hosting over 200 episodes. And he has completed a three-year mentorship to become a practitioner of Roslyn Snyder’s Realm Theory, the comprehensive psychology framework revealing the universal principles shaping our lives.

Some areas to talk about:

1. Your journey to get where you are today?
2. Actual dynamics of colonisation and the process of assimilating into it (and out).
3. Being British and linking it to boarding school as a fractal of this.
4. Looking at the history of Britain not just as a coloniser but also as a colonised state.
5. Britain was colonised in 40AD and had been ever since by different European elements.
6. Britannia was its first given colonised name (think Bombay-Mumbai or Ceylon-Sir Lanka), it had another before - Albion. So everytime we sing Rule Britannia, we are celebrating our own colonisation; and for me celebrating our collective trauma and servitude.
7. Intergenerational trauma: the cycle of abuser/abusee flowing from generation to generation.
8. This collective trauma invoked from within himself as part of my own bigger healing journey.
9. The well-honed ‘capacity to bear’ something he almost celebrated, something drilled into him not just at school but also by merely being British.
10. Colonisation and boarding school and other such inhumane artefacts as acceptable.

To find out more about Bryn and the work of Roslyn:

• His linkedin profile - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryn-edwards-29a906/
• Company link - https://wisdominyourlife.com.au/
• Bryn's podcast with Roz - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8m7zLmT_S8

#trauma #traumaandrecovery #boardingschoolsyndrome #colonisation

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

"Love Is More Important Than Food" | And The Lack of Love At Boarding School | Piers Cross

Drawing upon the ideas of Julia Samuel in her interview with Charles Spencer from minute 13.30: https://youtu.be/R7YZHcLhrF8?si=GSoMoLqMKjBYPEvO&t=780

And from this article from George Monbiot about boarding schools: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/nov/07/boarding-schools-boris-johnson-bullies

Love is more important than food and as Charles points out "There was no shadow of feminine care in the school."

Take care, Piers

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/