Remember the movie Crazy Rich Asians? Well, South Asian weddings are just as crazy irrespective of the riches.

In the South Asian culture a woman's whole life revolves around her wedding. As a young child she'll watch Bollywood movies about love, sprinkled with toe tapping music, lots of fancy clothing and grand celebrations of marriage. She'll be expected to help with household chores from very early on in preparation for life after marriage. At the first sign of protest moms are always ready with the infamous line - "Agar ab nai hora, tho shaadi kay baad kya karogi?" At 15 years old if she asks to go away with the rest of her class on a school trip, she'll often be told - "Yeh sab travel shavel shaadi keh baad karna." If she argues with her parents she'll be reminded that good girls don't argue cuz men don't like those kind of women. It's almost as though all her worth is wrapped into her ability to secure a good partner, become a wife and her ability to stay married.

Marriage in South Asia is considered a joining of two families. Both families take about two weeks of celebrations to get to know each other, the grand finale of which is a huge event filled with colors, music, lights, fancy clothes & indulgent foods. 

The life long buildup of marriage is real. Women & men are expected to be married by a certain age. If you're single beyond that age it's literally all anyone will talk to you about. Anyone means anyone, mom, dad, uncles and aunts, cousins, nieces & nephews, the uncle at the corner grocery store, the aunty at the temple, the woman who lives four houses down. 

So after the mad dash towards the finish line, after you've found your partner, spent much more than you could afford on a grandiose celebration announcing your union to more people than was probably necessary and you realize it's not at all what you wanted. What then?

Are South Asian women left out of political conversations or is it willful ignorance?

When was the last time you had a discussion about a policy, politician or political party with your husband, daughter, brother, sister?

Where did you learn political engagement?

Do you care about politics?

Should we care?

These are some of the questions we will be discussing in today's episode. Growing up with immigrant parents is a vastly different experience in comparison to the average American predominantly Caucasian or African American household. I dont remeber my mom or aunts every having opinions about elections or policies. Anything I heard was a spillover of conversations between men during some large celerbatory gathering while I delivered snacks or beverages that were prepared by the women huddled in the kitchen. Our gatherings were pretty sex segragated. Men in the living room, women in the kitchen. 

I wasn't taught about women's reproductive rights or racial inequality. I had to live it & then understand it. 

I am still understanding it. 

With everything that's been happening in our country over the last 7 years it is more important than ever for us to understand the power of our vote and the importance of political engagement. There is a palpable movement amongst South Asian women towards empowerment. We need to bring that movement to the collective.

Empowered women, empower women. 

And Saadia Mirza is one of those women. Saadia is a 30 something entrepreneur with a successful marketing firm which helps companies establish & grow their online presence. She spends her free time creating videos on tiktok & instagram about big policy changes, racial injustices, human rights violations, women's reproductive rights or fighting off the many trolls that flock to her comments section. She's a democrat in the heart of Texas so you can imagine how that's going for her. She is also editor at www.theprogressivists.com. The Progressivists is a progressive social movement driven by inclusive and reformist empowerment who mission is to consistently demand for political & sociopolitical change for the betterment of people & the planet. 

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In August 1947 when India finally won its independence from the British Raj after a struggle of almost 300 years. It left in it's wake a nation divided into two states: Hindu majority India & Muslim majority Pakistan. Immediately, there began one of the greatest migrations in human history & one that is the least discussed in the West. Growing up it was a paragraph in a history book at best. Grossly misrepresenting a monumental crux of the South Asian identity. 

Across the subcontinent people who had coexisted for centuries attacked each other. Hindus and Sikhs on one side, Muslims on the other. There are endless stories of families separated, women & children slaughtered, people pushed out of their homes, abandoned in refugee camps with nowhere to go in an unknown land. 

My maternal grandmother lived through the partition and throughout her life shared stories with me about where she was born & her childhood home in a faraway land called Sindh. At the time it sounded like some exotic place I would never visit. According to Nani's passport she was born in 1921. At the time of partition that would've made her approximately 25 years old. Her birth records could never be found. 

The Sindhi identity is perhaps the largest collateral damage of partition. Sindhis migrated to India with no state to call their own. They left behind their beloved Sindhu Darya, their friends, the only home they'd known - and were removed from it forever. Some will argue that this displacement proved fruitful. With no attachments to the new land they were free to move around the world, which they did. And went on to create a new identity in foreign lands as successful business tycoons often spinning their fortunes from nothing. 

But did that leave them with a fractured identity? Do they still long for the homeland of their forefathers? Have they recovered from the intergenerational trauma?

Is peace in South Asia possible?

Is it time for a new narrative?

In today's episode we explore these questions and many more with our guests Sunayna Pal and Beena Sarwar. 

Sunayna, author of the book Refugees In Their Own Country, a collection of poems about the partition based on conversations Sunayna had with her Chacha - her only connection to Sindh, the land of her forefathers. 

Beena Sarwar, a renowned journalist and activist, is curator & founder of the South Asia Peace Action Network (SAPAN) and was Editor of Aman Ki Asha, a joint initiative by Jang News PK and Times Of India to foster peace between the two countries. 

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