Alexandra “Lexi” Hudson was raised by a philosopher father and a mother who is a recognized manners expert. As a result, she has spent much of her life contemplating what forms of behavior constitute “the good life,” and lead to human flourishing. Following a disheartening stint working in government and seeing even spotty incidents of politeness masking an underlying incivility, she was driven to write her new book, which reaches back to great thinkers and writers throughout history to teach us timeless lessons. It is this work that forms the basis of this Blue Sky conversation.

From her book description:

“From classical philosophers like Epictetus, to great twentieth-century thinkers like Martin Luther King Jr., to her own experience working in the federal government during one of the most politically fraught eras in our nation's history, Hudson examines how civility—a respect for the personhood and dignity of others—transcends political disagreements. Respecting someone means valuing them enough to tell them when you think they are wrong.”

Order The Soul of Civility

Chapters:

02:05 Meet Lexi Hudson
Bill introduces his guest, Alexandra Hudson, a writer and speaker dedicated to civility and human flourishing.

04:50 The Disease of Division
Lexi discusses the societal ‘disease’ of division and incivility, reflecting on her experiences in government.

06:54 Growing Up with Judy the Manners Lady
Lexi shares her unique upbringing as the daughter of Judi the Manners Lady, highlighting the influence of her mother’s kindness and emphasis on community.

08:00 Civility vs. Politeness
Lexi distinguishes between civility and politeness, explaining that civility is rooted in recognizing others as moral equals.

11:40 The Importance of Disagreement
Lexi emphasizes that true civility sometimes requires engaging in difficult conversations and disagreeing respectfully.

13:02 Global Trends in Incivility
The conversation shifts to the global rise of incivility, with Lexi noting that the challenges faced in the U.S. are mirrored worldwide.

16:06 The Role of Social Media
Lexi discusses the impact of social media on societal discourse, drawing parallels to historical concerns about new technologies. She highlights the need for mindfulness in digital interactions to preserve humanity.

22:33 Remembering the Human Element
Lexi stresses the importance of recognizing the human side of social media interactions, which can often lead to dehumanization. She encourages listeners to maintain empathy and connection in digital communications.

27:20 Navigating Opinions in a Divided World
Lexi shares insights on the pressure to have opinions on every issue, especially during crises. She advocates for the idea that it’s okay to refrain from engaging in every argument, emphasizing the value of thoughtful consideration.

33:37 The Perils of Constant Distraction
Drawing from Blaise Pascal’s insights, Lexi addresses humanity’s struggle with distraction and the inability to sit quietly in solitude. She argues that this constant need for stimulation detracts from self-awareness and authentic connections with others.

36:01 The Call for Solitude and Self-Reflection
Lexi elaborates on Pascal’s thoughts regarding the necessity of solitude for understanding oneself and forming meaningful relationships. She emphasizes that embracing quiet moments can lead to deeper connections and a more fulfilling life.

37:50 Envisioning a Civil Society
In the concluding segment, Lexi paints a hopeful picture of a society transformed by the principles outlined in her book, advocating for deeper connections and understanding among individuals. She envisions a world where civility fosters warmth, intimacy, and genuine curiosity about one another.