Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am joined with Dana Hargrus, a mental health counselor with over twenty-five years of experience in trauma-informed care. We discuss the innovative approach of biofeedback in helping foster and adoptive parents navigate the challenges of caring for children from hard places. Dana shares her personal journey as a foster and adoptive parent, emphasizing the importance of connection and healthy attachment in mental health. The conversation highlights the need for alternative solutions to traditional medication and discipline methods, advocating for a more compassionate and understanding approach to parenting.

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Biofeedback is a form of brain exercise that helps improve mental health.
• Connection is essential for healing trauma in children.
• Punishment and discipline are often ineffective for children from hard places.
• Healthy attachment is crucial for mental health and can be developed at any age.
• Parents should focus on building connections rather than enforcing strict discipline.
• The current mental health system often fails children in foster care.
• Biofeedback can be a beneficial alternative to medication for managing mental health issues.
• Understanding a child's trauma history is key to effective parenting.
• Parents need support and resources to navigate the challenges of foster care and adoption.
• It's never too late for healing and change in a child's life.

Learn more about Dana’s practice Restore of Ada by calling 580-453-1076 or email them at contact@restoreofada.com or you can find their website https://restoreofada.com/about-restore

Check out Dana’s resource, a brief podcast about trauma: Find it on Apple or Spotify.

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Hey friends, today we’ve got something special for you: a bonus episode straight from the Pardon the Mess podcast!

Every Monday, host Courtney DeFeo shares a short prayer to help you lift up your kids. This year’s series follows Christian Parenting’s brand new prayer journal, A Great Cloud of Witnesses.

Each week highlights a biblical hero of the faith, paired with Scripture-based prayers for your kids. Here is a sneak peek into week one:

This first week is all about Noah—a man of incredible faith and obedience. While the world around him turned away from God, Noah walked in righteousness. Building the ark probably looked foolish to everyone else, but Noah trusted God’s word even when it didn’t make sense. That’s the kind of faith we want for our kids: to listen to God’s voice over any others and walk confidently with Him even when it means standing apart.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes.

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Follow Pardon the Mess on Apple or Spotify

Called to Love is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am joined with Abby Halberstadt, who’s been on the show before. Abby is a busy mom of ten biological kids, homeschools all of them, builds houses with her husband, and works as a fitness instructor, but most importantly she is a woman firmly planted on a Biblical foundation. In this conversation, we unpack the myth she shares in her recent book “You Bet Your Stretchmarks” which is a myth that your motherhood is wasted. Even though Abby has biological kids, all of us as foster and adoptive moms have the scars of motherhood and often the mundane and thankless jobs of wiping bottoms, sleepless nights, and sweeping cheerios can make us ask, “Is this worth it?” Abby reminds us that our motherhoods are eternally significant and callings from God. Even if our acts of love are unthanked and unseen, those sacrifices have an immeasurable impact.

Abby also walks us through some of the lies in our culture that prey upon moms and their identities. She strongly encourages us to find our contentment in God and not in comparing ourselves to others. Our culture, and the Enemy through it, are feeding lies to moms that they are alone and the motherhood experience is all negative. We know, however, through scripture that nothing is wasted.

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Motherhood is a calling of eternal significance.
• The 'wasted mother myth' undermines the value of motherhood.
• Daily sacrifices of mothers are meaningful and sacred.
• Creating rhythms in daily life can help manage overwhelm.
• Contentment comes from focusing on God's word, not worldly standards.
• Community support is essential but not always available.
• Every act of motherhood, no matter how small, has value.
• Mothers should not compare their journeys to others.
• Recognizing the mundane as sacred can transform perspective.
• Motherhood is a legacy that impacts future generations.

Learn more about Abby on her website and social media or buy her new book “You Bet Your Stretchmarks!” wherever you get your books, like Amazon.

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am joined with author and busy mom, friend of the show, Molly DeFrank! Molly is the proud mom of six kids, ages ranging from teenagers to young ones, both biological and adopted. Her family has also fostered children, and her two adopted kids came first from fostering.

In this episode, we are talking specifically about raising Godly sons as we live in a world that is telling them their masculinity is toxic and they just need to sit still. Anyone with a little boy knows they have so much energy and can’t focus, and while this may be frustrating it is also how God made them. Molly wrote a book titled, “Mothering Boys: 8 Things Your Son Needs From You Before He Turns 10” which has inspired this conversation. Especially if you have children in your home who come from foster care, they may have negative relationships to masculinity, either from bad male role models, failed father figures, or even abuse.

We have such an important role as parents to train up these kids, help shape and root their identity in God, and establish their worldview. Let’s talk about the practical ways we can help them be empowered young men for Christ!

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Boys face societal pressures that can negatively impact their self-worth.
• Building connection and trust is essential for effective parenting.
• Simple moments can create meaningful connections with boys.
• Unconditional love is crucial for boys to feel safe and accepted.
• Storytelling can help boys understand their identity and values.
• Creating safe spaces for boys to fail fosters resilience.
• Moms should focus on their own well-being to better support their children.

Learn more about Molly on her website or connect with her on social media!

Interested in her book? Click here to learn more!

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This is the fifth and final episode in this summer series breaking down how to emotionally regulate your household, tips that I have learned and personally used and hope will benefit you. Specifically, this episode wraps up our series as I talk about five ways you can recover after a dysregulation incident. There is so much adrenaline rushing in our kiddos bodies, and maybe even in our own, that it is very unlikely things will “go back to normal” or what you or the child was doing before the breakdown. So, what do you do?

I have five methods we use in our household: presence, gentle touch, pressure, going outside, and playing. In this episode, I dive deeper into each one of these with some clear examples as well!

I would love to hear from you if you begin using these strategies or share ones you’ve found that work in your household!

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Your presence as their safe and trusted caregiver is invaluable.
• Gentle touch can help regulate the central nervous system.
• Pressure can offset pent-up energy in children.
• Going outside and grounding can aid recovery.
• Fun and play are essential for emotional healing.
• Laughter can create positive connections with children.
• Caregivers must discern the right approach for each child.
• Nurturing after dysregulation is crucial for recovery.
• Building trust takes time and patience.

Free Downloadable Resource From Somer: Click Here & Enter Your Email

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

We are in the fourth week of my series breaking down how to emotionally regulate your household and I am going to give you tools for de-escalating your child during those meltdown moments. This week has honestly been challenging as I’ve been at my own breaking point and needed to use these regulation tools on myself.

I am going to share my personal experiences dealing with overwhelm and introduce you to the Three C’s of regulation: Cold, Counting, and Choices. And I have had to use all three this week myself! I am going to emphasize the significance of modeling self-regulation techniques, understanding children's fears, and empowering them through choices to foster a sense of control and calmness.

I would love to hear from you if you begin using these strategies or share ones you’ve found that work in your household!

Here are a few key takeaways:

• You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed.
• Modeling regulation techniques is crucial for effective parenting.
• Cold can help de-escalate intense emotions in children.
• Counting provides a distraction and helps regain focus.
• Choices empower children and reduce power struggles.
• Praise your child's progress to encourage better behavior.
• Understanding fear can help address escalated behaviors.
• Building skills takes time and repetition.
• Children are capable of learning to regulate their emotions.

Free Downloadable Resource From Somer: Click Here & Enter Your Email

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This is our third week in my new series breaking down how to emotionally regulate your household and I am going to give you tools for de-escalating your child during those meltdown moments. This episode is all about the 3 B’s: Breathing, Bilateral Movement, and Beating Heart. These three tools can effectively help you calm your child, build trust and connection, ultimately leading to better emotional regulation and communication within the family. These strategies do not take away the need for guidance, correction, and addressing dysfunctional behaviors but help your child receive your instruction because you’ve built trust and love.

I would love to hear from you if you begin using these strategies or share ones you’ve found that work in your household!

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Dysregulated behaviors require a confident caregiver's presence.
• Breathing techniques help reset a child's nervous system.
• Bilateral movement engages both sides of the brain for regulation.
• Heartbeat time provides comfort and connection during distress.
• Practicing tools alongside children builds trust and safety.
• Regulation tools prepare children for better communication and correction.
• Planning and having tools ready can improve family dynamics.

Free Downloadable Resource From Somer: Click Here & Enter Your Email

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This is our second week in my new series breaking down how to emotionally regulate your household. Specifically in this episode, I am explaining the HALT method--Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired—a powerful tool to help manage behavioral escalations. I am also sharing some personal examples and practical insights to guide you in fostering a nurturing environment with a biblical foundation.

Tune in to learn how addressing basic and felt needs can transform family dynamics and build trust. Don't miss this essential episode for every parent looking to enhance emotional and behavioral regulation at home!

Here are a few key takeaways:

• The HALT method is essential for emotional regulation.
• Understanding hunger can prevent behavioral issues.
• Anger is a natural emotion that needs management.
• Loneliness can occur even in crowded spaces.
• Rest is crucial for emotional and physical health.
• Building trust is key to effective parenting.
• Recognizing triggers can help in de-escalation.
• Biblical examples provide insight into caregiving.
• Practical tools can be adapted for individual needs.
• Consistency in approach fosters better relationships.

Free Downloadable Resource From Somer: Click Here & Enter Your Email

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!