Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am fan-girling out just a little bit because my special guest is Dr. Kathy Koch. Dr. Kathy has a PhD in reading and educational psychology from Purdue and is a former university professor now turned child advocate who founded Celebrate Kids. She has written several books, and her latest one (co-written with Dr. Jeff Myers) is called “Raising Gender-Confident Kids: Helping Kids Embrace Their God-Given Design”. This is the topic of our conversation, as many foster and adoptive parents may find their children especially vulnerable to the gender identity crisis.

Together, we discuss how to be bold in our parenting while also pursuing connection, trust, and relationship-building. God has given us the task of stewarding these kids and we cannot shy away from this reality. At the same time, if your child is coming to you already in a gender-confused state, it is important to show them love, compassion, and build trust so perhaps they can tell you what’s really going on. Dr. Kathy gives us powerful information and practical tools to equip us for this reality we face as parents.

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Parents need to be bold and honest about gender issues.
• Stereotypes can trap children in false beliefs about their identity.
• Churches must address tough topics to help guide youth.
• Creating a safe space for discussions is crucial for trust.
• Parents should affirm their children's identity and interests.
• It's important to teach children about the beauty of God's creation.
• Parents should not blame themselves for their children's struggles.
• Encouragement and support are vital for parents facing challenges.
• Identity formation is a lifelong process that requires consistent effort.

Learn more about Dr. Kathy’s organization, Celebrate Kids: https://celebratekids.com/

Dr. Kathy recommends one of her books, “Five to Thrive” and her latest release which informed a lot of this episode: ”Raising Gender Confident Kids”

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am joined with Bill High. Bill is the CEO of Legacy Stone and the author and co-author to many books. He is a counselor and public speaker, passionate about empowering families to leave a legacy for generations.

In our conversation, we explore the importance of building a lasting family legacy through faith, family values, and purposeful living. Bill shares practical steps for families to create structure and stability, emphasizing the power of repetition in instilling values. We hope this offers encouragement for parents navigating the challenges of foster care and adoption. You're playing a vital role in shaping the next generation.

Here are a few key takeaways:

• The calling of foster and adoptive parents is significant to the kingdom of God.
• Defining family values is crucial for protection and attraction.
• Kids are a heritage from the Lord, and families should treat them as such.
• Regular family meetings can help reinforce family values and vision.
• Structure and stability are essential for children from chaotic backgrounds.
• Repetition is key in teaching values to children.
• Parents should focus on being faithful rather than fixating on outcomes.
• God can turn broken situations into something good.

Connect more with Bill High on his website or social media. And the website for Legacy Stone: https://legacystone.com/

Bill High’s new book: THE LEGACY LIFE: BOOK AND DEVOTIONAL - A Paradigm Shift that Will Help You Build Your Family for Generations to Come, Guided by Biblical Values.

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am joined with Dr. Zoe Shaw. Dr. Zoe is a licensed psychotherapist, author, speaker and an expert on what she calls “Complex Shame”. She is also a busy mom of five kids, and actually part of her story is being a birth-mom. We talk a lot about being adoptive and foster parents, and this conversation gives us a small glimpse of a birth-mom’s experience. For Dr. Zoe, it was an experience filled with shame.

This episode is all about unpacking that: shame. All of us experience shame to different degrees, in fact its origins can be seen in the first few chapters of Genesis, where Adam and Eve are ashamed and hide from God. That is how Dr. Zoe describes and differentiates shame and guilt: shame is when we hide. Shame can be destructive and impact our relationships.

This is incredibly important for us to understand as parents, to navigate our own shame, and also to help us better understand our kids’ shame.

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Shame causes us to hide and affects our relationships.
• There is a difference between guilt and shame.
• Guilt can lead to positive change, while shame distances us from God.
• Complex shame is often tied to past trauma and experiences.
• Recognizing our shame story is crucial for self-worth.
• Healthy emotional boundaries allow for better relationships.
• Walking alongside children helps them process their feelings.
• Writing can be a powerful tool for communication with children.
• Repairing relationships requires acknowledging our own shame.
• Healing from shame is a journey that involves vulnerability.

Connect more with Dr. Zoe Shaw on her website or on instagram.

You can also buy her new book, “Stronger in the Difficult Places: Heal Your Relationship with Yourself by Untangling Complex Shame”

Christian Parenting’s latest resource: Friday Favorites Newsletter

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am joined with Daryl Potter. Daryl doesn’t have adopted or fostered children but he does have a miraculous daughter with complex medical needs and another biological son. Whether your kids are biological, adopted, or fostered, there are universal truths in parenting and along with it circumstances which take us to the brink of our capacity–physical, emotional, mental and even spiritual.

In this episode specifically we are looking at the unique challenges of raising kids with complex medical needs. Daryl shares his personal experiences, insights, and advice for you if you’re in the trenches of that right now. This may be a calling on your life – to adopt or foster children with complex needs – or this is a circumstance out of your control in your biological children. Whatever the case may be, the grueling long nights in hospitals, the panic, the fear, the weight of it all can wear you down. This is why Daryl shares how mindfulness as found in Ecclesiastes is so powerful and a Biblical tool for managing it.

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Navigating parenting with complex needs requires emotional resilience.
• Communication is key in marriage, especially during challenging times.
• Personal growth often comes from facing unexpected parenting challenges.
• Building a support network is crucial for families dealing with special needs.
• It's important to maintain perspective in difficult situations.
• Mindfulness can help parents enjoy the present moment.
• Parents should learn to express their emotions, including vulnerability.
• Children can be affected by the caregiving dynamics in the family.
• It's essential to listen to children's feelings and experiences.
• Finding joy in small moments can help alleviate stress.

Connect more with Daryl on his website or social media.

You can also check out his books! He recommends your local library but you can also purchase wherever books are sold. The books he explicitly mentions are:

“Something More: Living Well in a Broken World” and “Even the Monsters. Living with Grief, Loss, and Depression: A Journey through the Book of Job”

Christian Parenting’s latest resource: Friday Favorites Newsletter

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am joined with an adult adoptee and new author, Emmanual Jean Russle. Emmanuel grew up in Haiti with his grandmother before being adopted into the United States. In our conversation, we briefly discuss his upbringing and transition to the states and then Emmanuel shares his passion for sharing this message: God has a plan for every child. Emmanuel also offers encouragement to adoptive families navigating their unique journeys.

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Emmanuel's story highlights the importance of purpose in every child's life.
• Adoption can bring about significant changes, but love and support are crucial.
• Quality time spent with children fosters a sense of belonging.
• Every child's experience with adoption is unique and should be respected.
• Parents should treat adopted children as they would biological children.
• It's essential to acknowledge and celebrate a child's heritage.
• Prayer and guidance are vital for families considering adoption.
• Books can be powerful tools for understanding and discussing adoption.

Connect more with Emmanuel on social media.

Check out his book: “Hello! My Name is Emmanuel - An inspiring true story of adoption, celebrating new”

Christian Parenting’s latest resource: Friday Favorites Newsletter

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am joined with Dana Hargrus, a mental health counselor with over twenty-five years of experience in trauma-informed care. We discuss the innovative approach of biofeedback in helping foster and adoptive parents navigate the challenges of caring for children from hard places. Dana shares her personal journey as a foster and adoptive parent, emphasizing the importance of connection and healthy attachment in mental health. The conversation highlights the need for alternative solutions to traditional medication and discipline methods, advocating for a more compassionate and understanding approach to parenting.

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Biofeedback is a form of brain exercise that helps improve mental health.
• Connection is essential for healing trauma in children.
• Punishment and discipline are often ineffective for children from hard places.
• Healthy attachment is crucial for mental health and can be developed at any age.
• Parents should focus on building connections rather than enforcing strict discipline.
• The current mental health system often fails children in foster care.
• Biofeedback can be a beneficial alternative to medication for managing mental health issues.
• Understanding a child's trauma history is key to effective parenting.
• Parents need support and resources to navigate the challenges of foster care and adoption.
• It's never too late for healing and change in a child's life.

Learn more about Dana’s practice Restore of Ada by calling 580-453-1076 or email them at contact@restoreofada.com or you can find their website https://restoreofada.com/about-restore

Check out Dana’s resource, a brief podcast about trauma: Find it on Apple or Spotify.

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Hey friends, today we’ve got something special for you: a bonus episode straight from the Pardon the Mess podcast!

Every Monday, host Courtney DeFeo shares a short prayer to help you lift up your kids. This year’s series follows Christian Parenting’s brand new prayer journal, A Great Cloud of Witnesses.

Each week highlights a biblical hero of the faith, paired with Scripture-based prayers for your kids. Here is a sneak peek into week one:

This first week is all about Noah—a man of incredible faith and obedience. While the world around him turned away from God, Noah walked in righteousness. Building the ark probably looked foolish to everyone else, but Noah trusted God’s word even when it didn’t make sense. That’s the kind of faith we want for our kids: to listen to God’s voice over any others and walk confidently with Him even when it means standing apart.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes.

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Follow Pardon the Mess on Apple or Spotify

Called to Love is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

This week I am joined with Abby Halberstadt, who’s been on the show before. Abby is a busy mom of ten biological kids, homeschools all of them, builds houses with her husband, and works as a fitness instructor, but most importantly she is a woman firmly planted on a Biblical foundation. In this conversation, we unpack the myth she shares in her recent book “You Bet Your Stretchmarks” which is a myth that your motherhood is wasted. Even though Abby has biological kids, all of us as foster and adoptive moms have the scars of motherhood and often the mundane and thankless jobs of wiping bottoms, sleepless nights, and sweeping cheerios can make us ask, “Is this worth it?” Abby reminds us that our motherhoods are eternally significant and callings from God. Even if our acts of love are unthanked and unseen, those sacrifices have an immeasurable impact.

Abby also walks us through some of the lies in our culture that prey upon moms and their identities. She strongly encourages us to find our contentment in God and not in comparing ourselves to others. Our culture, and the Enemy through it, are feeding lies to moms that they are alone and the motherhood experience is all negative. We know, however, through scripture that nothing is wasted.

Here are a few key takeaways:

• Motherhood is a calling of eternal significance.
• The 'wasted mother myth' undermines the value of motherhood.
• Daily sacrifices of mothers are meaningful and sacred.
• Creating rhythms in daily life can help manage overwhelm.
• Contentment comes from focusing on God's word, not worldly standards.
• Community support is essential but not always available.
• Every act of motherhood, no matter how small, has value.
• Mothers should not compare their journeys to others.
• Recognizing the mundane as sacred can transform perspective.
• Motherhood is a legacy that impacts future generations.

Learn more about Abby on her website and social media or buy her new book “You Bet Your Stretchmarks!” wherever you get your books, like Amazon.

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!