It's just stunning, right? I've never, in my life, seen someone attack a banana like that. It's like a gorilla, or trying to tell Maeda and his mom apart. I know what I'm watching, but my mind can't really comprehend it.

Do people eat bananas this way? I mean, you're essentially eating it like corn on the cob, right? That's the idea. Going the horizontal route with a banana instead of the mainstream vertical way is such a diabolical move, I don't know whether he's brilliant or should be immediately kicked off the team.

Speaking of him …. my context clues and Beta Zawa digging tell me this lunatic is probably pitcher Hayashida Shinjiro. He commented on the above video, via Instagram, "Banana on the cob." That tells me pretty much all I need to know.

Anyway, remember this moment from Pootan? This is how I feel after watching Hayashida here maul that banana.

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OP: “Ningen nante” by Yoshida Takuro
ED: “Union of the Snake” by Duran Duran