In New Jersey, a girl was caught on video on an amusement park ride getting smacked in the face by a seagull. In a related story, the Seagull News Network, SNN, says there's an alarming up-tick in human girls getting in the way while you're trying to fly away from New Jersey.

In the Netherlands, there's a new record for the world's most-expensive burger; at $7k a plate. Wow, inflation is getting out of control. Apparently it comes with King Crab, Dom Perignon-battered onion rings, Italian White Truffle, Beluga Caviar, gold-crusted saffron, and Macallan single-malt Rare Cask scotch -infused BBQ sauce. Know what it doesn't come with? A safe to lock it up in.

Listen up, MMA fans. Conor McGregor seems to have gotten over his recent UFC loss and broken leg, because he just got a $3.5M Lamborghini yacht. Good to see he's gotten his sea legs. Sorry, sea "leg".

In Toronto, a gym called Fearless Boxing has banned entry to anyone who HAS been vaccinated. I guess the only thing fearless there now is the coronavirus itself. My sources say in order to prove you haven't been vaccinated, they make you bring a low scoring IQ test result.

Finally, Taco Bell's menu has been hit hard by shortages of many ingredients, including chicken, beef, tortillas and hot sauce. But don't worry, even without any of those things they can probably still make you a Naked Chicken Chalupa to their same high standards of quality. God knows what the hell is in there.