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Positivity and possibility are two distinct approaches in personal development, divorce coaching, and conflict resolution, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. While positivity focuses on maintaining a positive outlook and minimizing negative emotions, possibility emphasizes exploring new opportunities and potential for growth.

In today's episode, we pull from William Ury's new book "Possible: Surviving (and Thriving) in an Age of Conflict" to talk about why having a possibilist outlook is so important to conflict resolution.

Positivity can actually act as a barrier especially for those clients facing challenging conflict situations, anchored in positional thinking, or stuck in the problem cycle. Suppressing or ignoring negative emotions doesn't make them go away - they simply come up at unintended and unexpected times. And that can escalate conflict.

Ury's focus on possibility supports clients' ability to envision and achieve positive outcomes by exploring new opportunities and potential pathways for growth. By focusing on what is possible, coaches can help individuals navigate their challenges with resilience, creativity, and confidence.


Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more and join the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group on divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Two things the coaches in our community tell us they are thirsty for is more clients and more credibility. Today we want to talk about how using coach-y language creates a barrier to working with you for both potential clients and other divorce professionals.

Divorce coaching is still a relatively new profession and is often mis-identified as a version of life coaching. This is an image that DCA is actively fighting against. It’s one of the reasons we launched our ADR focused divorce coach training - to push back against the idea that anyone can coach people going through divorce.

Divorce and co-parenting are too important and the stakes are too high when conflict and communication aren’t handled carefully.

Tune in and learn why we don't intend to affiliate with the ICF, the reputation we are battling against, and some tips for language that will get you the clients and credibility you deserve.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more and join the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group on divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Have you seen this viral question going around the internet where people are asking women if they would rather be stuck in the woods with a bear or a man? It was intended to spark discussion about violence against women and the responses have been both overwhelming and insightful.

This whole conversation has made us wonder how people would answer if we ask them if they would rather mediate with a bear or a narcissist?

Today we're tackling the fear so many individuals have about trying to mediate with a high conflict or difficult partner. We consistently see people choose to pay an attorney tens of thousands of dollars to litigate rather than attempt mediation and negotiate directly with their spouse. Having an attorney to represent them might feel like they’re more protected, but are they?

We discuss:

• How HCP complicate the mediation process
• Common fears we hear
• Reasons mediation might be a BETTER choice
• Tips for negotiating and keeping your cool

As always, our goal is to make sure our clients are making decisions from a place of information and strategy, not fear no matter which option they choose.


Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more and join the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group on divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Ever hear the expression "Expectations are just planned resentments”? When our expectations aren't met, we feel like what we got less than we deserved, which leads to disappointment and builds to resentment which increases cost, conflict, and stress in divorce.

Whether the source is tv and movies, social media, or family and friends, people can tend to enter into divorce with some preconceived notions about how it works or how things will go. They may have expectations about parenting time, how much support they’ll get, how their spouse will behave, or how assets will be divided.

And when those expectations don’t match up with the reality of their divorce process, reactions can range from mild disappointment to downright rage.

In this episode we're talking through 10 of the most common expectations we hear from clients beginning the divorce process, offering some reality testing, and sharing some tips to help them prepare to accept the reality of their situation and make choices that reflect their priorities and their values.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more and join the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group on divorcecoachesacademy.com

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It’s well known that divorce can be one of the most stressful life events our clients will experience. And we’ve talked extensively about how fear escalates cost and conflict. But there’s a secret ingredient that can make the process even more difficult and more expensive … and that’s trauma.

Today we are going to give you some insight into working with clients experiencing PTSD or post traumatic spouse disorder. No, that’s not a real DSM diagnosis, but it is a condition that can affect people who go through extremely contentious divorces.

According to psycholoogytoday.com, “The word 'trauma' literally means wound, shock, or injury". Studies have found that following relationship dissolution, many people manifest symptoms similar to those experienced by people who have survived highly stressful situations.

This means that in some cases, those who experience divorce could experience true PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms similar to those who have experienced military combat, natural disasters, sexual assault, or other life-threatening events.

Coaching a client in trauma presents some extra challenges because their alarm system is going off and when we feel threatened, it’s hard to have the same level of self-awareness or decision making skills.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra discuss types of trauma, trauma responses, trauma recovery, and strategies for supporting clients struggling with PTSD.


Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more and join the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group on divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Couples facing challenges or difficulties in their marriage have traditionally turned to couples counseling or marriage therapy for help. And we often hear from clients who are now deciding whether to stay or go that they found the experience of couples counseling to be quite frustrating with lots of blame and finger pointing and little to no resolution of the issues at hand. But what if married couples had another choice?

Enter Marital Mediation.

While both couples counseling and marital mediation share the overarching goal of promoting healthier, more harmonious relationships, they differ significantly in their approaches, methodologies, and intended outcomes.

Couples counseling focuses on exploring and understanding relational dynamics, emotions, and patterns of interaction. Therapists in couples counseling often adopt a more directive or interventionist stance, offering guidance, feedback, and psycho-education to promote positive change.

Marital mediation, by contrast, emphasizes practical problem-solving and negotiation skills. Mediators in marital mediation maintain a neutral stance, refraining from offering advice or solutions. Instead, they facilitate dialogue, negotiation, and problem-solving, empowering couples to generate their own solutions and agreements.

As ADR modalities and processes are becoming more commonly used by families in conflict, we are seeing an expansion of the practice of marital mediation or couples mediation. By offering couples a future focused, problem solving approach, we hope to be able to create agreements that allow the couple to navigate conflict and remain in relationship.


Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more and join the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group on divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Financial worries are at the top of most everyone’s list when it comes to divorce and one common concern we hear from clients is how much it’s going to cost to get divorced. So in this episode we’re diving into not just how much divorce costs, but the factors that can influence it and how we can work with clients to keep their costs down.

IBISWorld reports that revenue for the Family Law and Divorce Attorney sector is expected to be $12.9 billion for 2023. Whoa! That is a load of money that’s moving from our clients’ bank accounts to pay for the services of divorce professionals. Now we’re not saying that attorneys aren’t worth what they charge - competent legal advice is priceless.

But we are saying that individuals and couples have a lot more influence over the cost of their divorce than they realize. And as most things in divorce and co-parenting, it comes down to how they manage conflict and their decision making.

Listen in as we unpack all the costs that go into divorce, talk about how considering a divorce budget can help clients make strategic decisions, discuss the factors that influence whether our client has a Kia divorce or a Lamborghini divorce, and offer some tools and strategies for staying within their budget goals.

Join Us Now: Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more and join the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group on divorcecoachesacademy.com

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There's a big difference between being a victim (having been harmed) and adopting a victim mentality. And the difference relates to how an individual responds to adversity. In this episode Tracy and Debra explore the 6 ways a victim mentality can impact how individuals perceive and respond to conflicts.

So, why is it so important to address victim mentality when working with clients? Because victim mentality can escalate conflict, can leave individuals feeling powerless and helpless, and can prolong the healing process and hinder emotional well-being.

But they also share 9 tips for helping clients break free of this mentality so they can can experience greater emotional resilience, acceptance, and inner peace during and after the divorce process.

It's important to recognize that overcoming victim mentality is a journey, not a destination. Even with the best support, It requires a ton of self-reflection, courage, and a willingness for our clients to challenge their own beliefs and perceptions. Yet, by acknowledging their own agency and responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings, and actions, clients can break free from the cycle of victimhood and reclaim their power to shape their divorce, minimize conflict, support productive co-parenting relationships, and see the possibilities for their new future.

And don't forget to register for the FREE Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit that kicks off on Monday, April 22. We've gathered more than 25 professional divorce coaches to help you protect your mental health, your bank account or and your future.

Sign up now: Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more and join the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group on divorcecoachesacademy.com