Last time we talked about how your phone could interfere with connecting with people. This time I thought it would be good to talk about how our phones can help us combat loneliness and isolation.

We hear a lot about the negative health impacts of loneliness, and yet this series of studies suggests that most of us are reluctant to reach out to old friends – even though that’s one of the fastest ways to boost our social connections.

A new Canadian study showed that fewer than one third of people in their study sent a message (txt, email. Phone call) to an old friend even when they wanted to, thought the friend would be receptive, had their contact details, and had time and space to send a message.

The study found that people tended to view old friends in the same way they view strangers, which contributed to reluctance to reach out.

Things that helped with connecting with old friends included:

- A “practice” condition (sending messages to current friends) helped more people to reach out to old friends, suggesting one practical way to warm people up to contacting old friends.

- Imagine what it’s like for you to receive a message from an old friend. Most people were very positive about being the one that is contacted rather than doing the contacting. Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes might help reduce reluctance to be the one making the first move

- Start with some easy wins – contact people you were close to in the past rather than more casual acquaintances. More likely to be able to rekindle those old fires.

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