Division isn’t just a problem in the world—it’s creeping into homes, marriages, and families everywhere. When couples start turning against each other instead of standing together, the bond that once felt safe and secure begins to weaken. In this episode, we’re breaking down The 4 D’s That Create Division in a Marriage: Dismissiveness, Defensiveness, Deflecting, and Divorce Threats. These subtle but destructive patterns slowly undermine connection and emotional safety, often without you even realizing it.

We’ll clearly define what each of these behaviors looks and sounds like—and why they’re so damaging to your closeness and trust. More importantly, we’ll share how to stop them before they erode your foundation.

👉 And don’t miss our live + free Marriage WebClass: The 5 Root Causes of Conflict and Disconnection in a Marriage. It’s a topic we’ve never taught publicly before, packed with the exact insights and tools we use with coaching clients. Register now at OnlineCouplesWorkshops.com

Many times in marriage, you can start what you think is a simple conversation and have it turn into a miscommunication or even a conflict. It is frustrating when you are trying to simply communicate something and it isn’t received by your partner.

In this episode we talk about the difference between productive and unproductive communication and what makes partners good communicators vs poor communicators. You will be surprised by the simple shift you can make and the massive difference it will make in how you each speak and listen to one another.

To dive further into the source of conflicts, attend our FREE LIVE Marriage Webclass on Oct 23rd: Navigating the 5 Root Causes of Conflicts. After this date you will be able to watch the replay as well.

For all of our resources visit: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

When emotions run high in marriage, one of the most common traps couples fall into is what to do with each other’s feelings. Should you validate them? Should you challenge them? Or should you just offer a quick solution so you can move on?

The truth is when emotional validation is missing or misunderstood, small hurts linger, conflicts spiral, and one or both partners can end up feeling dismissed, forced into solutions, or left unresolved. It’s also one of the biggest complaints we hear from spouses…”you’re not validating my feelings!”

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why couples often confuse validation with agreement

• The hidden ways spouses accidentally invalidate each other

• Why solutions don’t stick if this piece is missing

• What actually creates the safety to collaborate, repair, and move forward together
  
  

If you’ve ever wondered “Am I supposed to validate even when I don’t agree?”—this conversation is for you. Because the order in which you respond to your partner’s emotions might be the very thing that determines whether you stay stuck… or actually grow closer.

Also, register for our LIVE + FREE Marriage WebClass coming up on: The 5 Root Causes of Conflict and Disconnection…and the Tools to Overcome Them!

Register For The Webclass HERE 👈

After our recent intimacy series, there were dozens of follow up questions from you all asking us to dive further into normal hormonal changes as we age and proactive steps you can take to age gracefully AND stay connected through the changes.

In this episode, double board-certified physician Dr. Amy Shah (women’s health & nutrition) joins us to bust the “dad bod/mom bod is just aging” myth—and lay out practical, evidence-informed steps couples can use to sleep better, reduce stress, protect libido, and stay united through perimenopause, menopause, and men’s steady testosterone decline.

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

-Why “dad bod/mom bod” is more about habits + hormones than age

-The gut–brain–hormone loop that impacts mood, energy & attraction

-How to time difficult conversations around the cycle (and when not to)

-The midlife health stack: movement, strength, sprinting, nutrition, sleep

-Alcohol & hormones: why a 30–90 day break can be a game-changer

-Men’s testosterone: fix root causes before quick fixes

-Labs that matter (and why symptoms often beat hormone numbers)

-The updated science on HRT for women—and when to consider it

-“Gray divorce”: how to adapt as a team through this season

About Our Guest:

Dr. Amy Shah is a double board-certified MD and nutritionist focused on the gut-brain connection, women’s health, and fitness medicine. Through AmyMD Wellness, books, speaking, and social channels, she helps people take control of their wellness with practical, research-backed tools.

Resource Links:

• Dr. Amy Shah: IG @dramymd • TikTok @dramymd • Website: amymdwellness.com

• Our most-used marriage tools & guides: meetthefreemans.com/links

• Work with us / in-person Couples Workshop Oct 5th (AZ): meetthefreemans.com/workshop

If this helped, tap 👍 + Subscribe for weekly tools to communicate better, de-escalate faster, and feel closer—through every season.

Episode Timestamps of What We Discussed:

02:34 Welcome + why we brought Dr. Amy on this topic

03:43 Health ↔ marriage: stress, cortisol, sleep & conflict

05:10 Listener question: attraction & a partner’s “dad bod”

06:04 Why “dad/mom bod” isn’t inevitable—habits + hormones

07:35 What healthy aging actually looks like (mindset matters)

08:58 The study: reversing heart age over 2 years (plan overview)

10:59 Modeling vs. nagging your partner’s health

12:21 Women 30s–50s: perimenopause basics & early signs

14:01 Energy, sleep, gut changes & libido shifts

15:23 Estrogen vs. progesterone—“two sisters” in your brain

19:00 Don’t make big decisions late-luteal; timing tough talks

23:03 Men’s testosterone: steady decline & root-cause fixes

26:40 Alcohol & hormones: realistic targets + try a break

29:41 Movement, nutrition & why sleep is #1

32:07 Should couples go to bed at the same time?

33:04 Labs that matter; why symptoms often beat hormone levels

35:01 HRT for women (updated science) & considerations for men

37:50 “Gray divorce,” shifting tolerance & communicating needs

41:16 Adapting habits together to age gracefully as a team

44:23 Where to find Dr. Amy + wrap

Are we getting too self-focused in marriage? In this episode, we unpack the cultural messages that push hyper-individualism (“fill your cup first”) and show why great marriages are actually built on mutual care, not solo self-care. We talk about healthy vs. overcorrected boundaries, why prosocial actions (doing good for your partner) boost your own mood, how to shift from short-term impulses to a long-term family vision, and practical ways to “out-love” each other in daily life.

What you’ll learn from this episode:

• The trap of “me first” and how it quietly erodes connection
• Mutual care vs. self-care (and why you can’t get to 100% alone)
• Boundaries that protect vs. boundaries that avoid
• A neuroscience-backed reason to give more (and feel better)
• How shared vision → shared sacrifice → shared joy
• Simple ways to prioritize your partner without losing yourself

If this helped, drop a comment with your biggest takeaway, hit 👍, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Reviews seriously help—thank you for taking a moment to rate the show!

Explore all our resources (Couples Workshop, 30-Day Challenges, guides & more): meetthefreemans.com/links

Episode Timestamps of What We Discussed:

0:00 Love is a commitment (not just a feeling)

1:15 Intro & topic: Are spouses becoming too selfish?

2:41 The myth of “self first,” then the relationship

5:38 Mutual care over self-care (why you can’t get to 100% alone)

9:31 Study: prosocial acts boost mood & connection

11:48 Boundaries: healthy vs the overcorrection

14:05 F1 analogy — from beginner rules to mastery standards

17:47 Culture: hyper-individualism & consumerism in relationships

20:54 Shift to long-term vision (let the future guide today)

22:30 Family values & the erosion of the family-oriented model

28:24 Why media rarely tells you what truly strengthens marriage

30:01 Interdependence & “out-loving” each other

31:25 Choosing your partner’s needs: practical examples

32:46 Main takeaways & reminders

33:38 Love = commitment + shared vision

34:54 Closing: reviews, subscribe

35:12 Resources & sign-off

This week marks our 10-year wedding anniversary and if we’re being honest, the months leading up to it weren’t easy. Research even shows that around the 10-year mark, couples hit peak dissatisfaction.

But here’s the truth: challenges don’t mean your marriage is broken. They’re invitations to grow, reconnect, and come back stronger.

In this episode, we’re opening up about the 10 most powerful lessons from our 10 years together — the highs, the lows, the laughter, and the lessons that have shaped us as individuals, as partners, and as parents.

Whether you’ve been together 2 years, 20, or 50, these lessons will give you perspective, encouragement, and practical tools to stay on the same team in every season. Don’t miss this one—it might change the way you see your marriage.

Relationship Resources:

In honor of our 10-year anniversary, we’re keeping The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge open for just a few more days! This special edition is designed to reignite emotional and physical intimacy, spark joy, and bring out the BEST in each other again.

Join here: mycoupleschallenge.com/best

Or explore all of our tools — from upcoming workshops to guides — at meetthefreemans.com/links

👉 If this episode gave you value, hit subscribe, drop a comment with your favorite lesson, and please leave a review so more couples can find this podcast.

Episode Timestamps of What We Discuss:

0:00 – Why 10 years can be a breaking point for couples

3:20 – Lesson 1: Keep updating your shared vision

9:17 – Lesson 2: Connection is more than just being around each other

15:52 – Lesson 3: Differences can make you a stronger team

25:14 – Lesson 4: Becoming parents forces you to reconstruct your marriage

32:09 – Lesson 5: How you show up daily becomes how your marriage feels

39:37 – Lesson 6: Be more committed to repair than being right (or hurt)

47:49 – Lesson 7: Most arguments aren’t about the surface-level issue

53:03 – Lesson 8: Don’t shift from biggest supporters to biggest critics

59:59 – Lesson 9: The same challenges repeat until you learn the lesson

1:08:48 – Lesson 10: Sometimes you just need to have fun and switch the energy

1:12:43 – Final reflections after 10 years

What keeps couples united through all the ups and downs? A shared vision. In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, we break down why having a vision together is essential, how to define your values as a couple, and the practical steps to keep you connected in both everyday life and during challenges.

Whether you’re in a hard season or just feeling stuck in routine, your vision as a couple is what pulls you out of the mundane and gives deeper meaning to your marriage.

In this episode you will hear:

-Why self-focus leads to more negativity (and how vision shifts that)

-The 4 steps to creating a shared vision for your marriage and family

-How values guide tough choices around career, parenting, and money

-Ways to connect daily life back to your bigger purpose together

-How to turn challenges into growth and strengthen your bond long-term

👉 Ready to reignite your intimacy and spark? Our Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge is only open 3x a year—don’t miss this round. Join here: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best

If you enjoy this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a comment, and write us a quick review—it means the world to us and helps more couples find the podcast!

Timestamps of Episode:
0:00 – Why self-focus increases negativity
0:18 – How vision helps you think beyond yourself
0:34 – The danger of losing sight of your shared values
0:47 – Making hard choices aligned with your vision
1:00 – Looking back on challenges with pride
1:19 – Welcome + episode introduction
1:55 – Why vision bonds couples from the beginning
2:14 – Losing sight of “why” in everyday life
2:38 – Announcement: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge
3:18 – Why vision is collaborative and long-term
3:40 – The psychology of self-consciousness & negative emotion
4:23 – How lack of vision creates conflict cycles
4:39 – Seeing hard seasons in the bigger picture
5:18 – Finding meaning even in the mundane days
6:26 – Step 1: Moving from present pain to future vision
7:52 – How vision brings relief and peace
9:09 – Parenting example: values guiding hard choices
10:17 – Step 2: Defining higher values and purpose
11:25 – Career choices and money vs. vision
12:37 – Step 3: Creating a simple, memorable vision statement
13:47 – Aligning vision with values, actions, and results
15:29 – Expanding your vision beyond your family
16:06 – Vision boards and visual reminders
16:29 – Step 4: Connecting present challenges back to vision
17:09 – Real parenting example from our daughter
18:43 – Seeing challenges as stepping stones to vision
19:29 – Simple reflection questions for couples
20:18 – The Hero’s Journey and your marriage
20:38 – Looking back on challenges with pride and strength
21:07 – Who you want to become vs. what you want to achieve
21:59 – Why connection is the most fulfilling outcome
22:22 – Final reminder: Best of Us 30-Day Challenge
23:16 – Closing encouragement + subscribe & review

Marriage after kids can feel like survival mode. Once out of the immediate chaos, it can settle into a state of function. Between diapers, school runs, shuttling to sports practices, your work, and endless to-do lists at home, it’s easy to put your relationship on the back burner. But here’s the truth: your kids don’t just thrive on how well you care for them—they thrive on how connected YOU are as a couple.

In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, Jocelyn & Aaron (“The Freemans”) share practical, real-life ways to stay emotionally and physically connected after kids. You’ll learn how to move beyond just “functioning” as roommates and bring back fulfillment, intimacy, and spark in your marriage before it’s too late.

If you’ve ever felt the distance growing, this conversation will give you hope and concrete steps you can implement today.

From this episode you’ll walk away with:

• How to make daily emotional check-ins that go beyond “How was your day?”
• Why non-sexual touch matters (and how to bring it back without pressure)
• Simple ways to make family dinners and daily routines bonding moments
• How to prioritize weekly and yearly quality time as a couple
• Why your kids benefit most when YOU thrive together

Don’t just survive marriage after kids—reignite the connection that makes everything else in family life easier. Not only is this for your own satisfaction, but critical for what you then model to your kids.

Want to reignite the spark and feel truly connected again? Join the Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge—a proven path to bring back emotional closeness, intimacy, and joy in your marriage. Enrollment only opens a few times per year, so don’t miss this round: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best 👈

If This Episode Resonated, Don’t Forget to:

-Subscribe for weekly episodes

-Leave a rating & review to support the show

-Share this episode with a couple who needs encouragement

Episode Topics Timestamp:

00:08 – Why putting your relationship on the back burner hurts your kids too

00:09:50 – The emotional wall couples feel after building the “dream life”

00:10:38 – Why dissatisfaction peaks around the 10-year mark (and how to avoid it)

00:13:37 – Connection is what makes parenting and life easier

00:14:00 – Step 1: Daily emotional check-ins (not just logistics)

00:19:18 – Step 2: Non-sexual touch & physical affection

00:23:59 – Why kids need to SEE your love, not just receive it

00:25:02 – Special edition: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge

00:28:11 – Step 3: Make family dinners intentional & device-free

00:32:57 – Step 4: Weekly marriage nights (beyond TV time)

00:34:44 – Step 5: Yearly getaways & bucket list adventures together

00:37:24 – The danger of drifting apart slowly

00:39:34 – Kids notice everything—why your marriage is their model

00:41:26 – Final encouragement & invitation to reignite your spark