Parenting is a wild ride. Let's peel back the onion of our parenting expectations, why we have them, and learn how to parent beyond them. From little years to teenagers and beyond, when we learn to parent beyond our expectations, we will find more joy in whatever season of parenting we find ourselves in.

1. The Root of our Expectations Why do we have certain parenting expectations? It comes back to the age-old nature vs. nurture. It's both! Our upbringing and other outside influences, along with our innate personality, drive our parenting expectations.

Looking for help discovering what are typical behaviors and expectations depending on your kid(s) ages/stages? The Raising Boys and Girls Podcast with David Thomas and Sissy Goff. This is one of my favorite parenting podcasts and their books are amazing resources for raising good, well-rounded, emotionally strong, and resilient kids. A few faves:

Raising Emotionally Strong Boys by David Thomas

Raising Worry-Free Girls by Sissy Goff

When can you know if your expectations are taking you to an unhealthy place? Are you bitter? Resentful? Frustrated the majority of the time? If so, it may be time to reality check and heart check your current expectations. Expectations are good as long as they are realistic to your season of parenting and the age/stage of your kids.

"Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty."

Proverbs 14:4 (NIV)

"Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean."

Proverbs 14:4 (ESV)

As long as you have people living in your home, there is going to be evidence of their existence. And that is OKAY!

Every season of parenting presents new challenges. Yet, each one helps build us and shape us into the character of Jesus and develop all of the Fruits of the Spirit:

• love. joy. peace. patience. kindness. goodness. faithfulness. gentleness. self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

2. Situational Expectations

When expectations are too low, we end up dreading whatever it is that is coming. If they are too high, we end up disappointed. It is all about finding the balance and the middle ground here.

KNOW YOUR KID(S). BE A STUDENT OF YOUR KID(S).

• don't expect your kid(s) to be you.
• don't live vicariously through your kid(s)

You absolutely can still have standards and expectations for your kids (especially when it comes to behavior). Still, I challenge you and me to keep learning and observing who our kiddos are, who God made them to uniquely be) and parent from that place.

Let's make this practical. Here are 7 ways to Parent Beyond Expectations:

1. Talk about them
2. Set reasonable and realistic expectations (don't get mad at them in the process of learning)
3. Be a student of your kid(s)
4. Allow everything to be a teachable moment
5. Build in time for fun!
6. Don't be afraid of messes
7. Be patient in the process

Remember, mama, you have a hard job. Be patient with your kids, but also with yourself. You are also growing and learning right alongside them. You are doing a great job!

NEW HERE? Yay! Thanks for listening.

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I hang out mostly over there and love to connect to other mamas looking to follow Jesus more closely and find more joy in their season.

We are better together friend and I am cheering you on!