Puck brings the mortals a special delivery.

To read the full script of this episode, check out the show notes at: https://a-midsummers-quarantine.captivate.fm

To learn more about the Faustian Nonsense network, check out faustiannonsense.com.

To contribute to our Patreon, go to patreon.com/faustiannonsense.

Puck -- JOE CRUZ

Oberon -- TREVOR SCHECHTER

Helena -- AMELIA KINCH

Demetrius -- TONY WOODS

Hermia -- JACI SZILAGYI

Lysander -- GREG CARROBIS

Titania -- AVALON WILLOWBLOOM

The Mortals’ podcast

[Helena in a Handbasket opening] 

HELENA 

Hey everybody, welcome back to Helena in a Handbasket. Unfortunately our wifi is suffering under the strain of… unexpected guests. So no more live shows until we can upgrade the router. Or something. Demetrius seemed to know what he was talking about. 

LYSANDER 

Are we out of milk? 

HELENA 

There is no ‘we!’ You don’t live here! 

LYSANDER 

Of course I don’t live here. You think I would be caught dead living in Brooklyn? An artist in Brooklyn. Please! What a played out stereotype. Next you’ll be suggesting a dingy apartment near the Moulin Rouge. Shall I put the absinthe on your bill?

HELENA

And yet. Here you are. In my room--in Manhattan, I might add--asking if ‘we’ are out of milk. 

HERMIA

[From a distance] Hel, are you yelling at Lysander?

HELENA

Ugh. [Shouting] No!

[Hermia enters Helena’s room]

HERMIA

Hel, don’t be mean. You promised. Remember?

HELENA

What I remember is you telling me that I didn’t need to worry about Lysander moving in as well. It’s a two bedroom apartment! And they’re not big rooms! We can’t have four people--! 

HERMIA

Oh my god, can you chill? He just sprained something from moving the couch. 

HELENA

And what was it he sprained again? 

LYSANDER/HERMIA [SIMULTANEOUSLY] 

Ankle./Shoulder. 

….Shoulder?/...Ankle? 

LYSANDER 

My shoulder AND my ankle. I can barely limp to the kitchen for coffee...

[LYSANDER limps away]

HERMIA

The point is that he’s injured and shouldn’t be driving all alone like that! It’s not safe, Hel.