A poem about battling and overcoming the fears of allowing yourself to experience the fullness of joy, peace, hope, beauty, goodness, and truth as they present themselves to you.

Surface Tension:

Joy beyond comprehension

Yet I try to comprehend it

Peace surpassing understanding

Yet I attempt to understand it

Hope exceeding explanation

Yet I hope to explain it

Because I question;

If I can’t explain it, is it even real?

If I can’t understand it can I trust what I feel?

If I don’t comprehend it, is it safe for my retention?

They come like waves engulfing me in beauty

They wash over me till I’m truly submerged in goodness

But soon I emerge from this seemingly dreamlike state and begin to contemplate this conflict within,

spiritual realities juxtaposed with internal fallacy’s

Fear conflates with lies and disappointment, and pretty soon

The questions grab me by the collar,

anytime I wander out to the water I know I must be baptized in

They drag me back to shore

Seducing me to think they’re saving me but in reality they’re choking me.

The vast ocean of His Grace is my destiny

Yet I hesitate swim freely in it

I spring up out of the water

Gasping as if I was drowning in it.

Though I was hardly wading in it

Yet what I discover, if I wade longer in this water,

Is that I am safe,

Contrary to what I perceive

I can breathe,

The depths of joy

The breadth of peace

The heights of hope

All belong to Me.

And I belong to Him.

If only I stop fighting Him

and simply receive,

If I stop second guessing,

and truly trust and believe

They are not myths or illusions

Too good to be true

They come from the Creator

of beauty, goodness, and truth.

And among those creatures is me,

And the life He has in store

If I dive beneath the surface,

If I swim beyond the shore.