Today we have a Dear Destination Marriage sent by a listener who is currently experiencing a power struggle.

"Dear Destination Marriage,

My husband and I have been married for six years but we’re experiencing a shift in our relationship that is stripping us of the happiness we once had and is causing a lot of arguments in our home. My husband and I both started out building our careers at the same time and came into the marriage with close to a 50/50 equal financial contribution. Within the last six months my husband has made leaps and bounds with his company and is making great money. While the increase in our financial pool is wonderful, his control over our finances and disregard for my thoughts on how money should be distributed is creating a great divide. I feel as though I have no voice and at this point every conversation ends up becoming an argument. Do you have any thoughts where we go from here?"

Questions:

1. What is the root of this type of behavior?
   1. Big head
   2. Previous money problems – recently crawled out of a 2020 hole?
   3. Added stress of new role – “Innocent” – doesn’t realize what he is doing to his wife?
   4. Fear of losing everything he’s earned?

1. Can financial power struggles be a sign of other underlying issues?

Suggestions:

1. Don’t stop talking to one another - Silence can be dangerous.
2. Take time to listen before responding.
3. Act in love
4. Keep the conversation on topic.

More extreme suggestions if things don’t get resolved:

1. Marriage counseling
2. Separate accounts (not sure if they’re separate now).