A reflective poem a I wrote about the tension of being someone people look up to as a leader, while knowing deep down how human you really are. Yet, coming to the realization that maybe what they are drawn to, is Christ in you, which is something worth celebrating.

Human Heroics:

It’s strangely satisfying, yet utterly terrifying

To be someone’s hero

Somehow your life and love speak so loud that people want to be around you,

or even scarier; be like you.

It’s what many of us long for isn’t it?

To have influence, to be leaders, to be followed,

To be appreciated, seen, known, admired, looked up to

But once people do just that

Suddenly I feel I’m not up to the task

All my flaws in full view

My humanity and foolish tendencies looming in the shadow of my self image

Afraid admirers might place on me too much dependency

so I deflect

I don’t want people to look up to me but to to God

I want to reject this admiration, it just feels odd

Why me?

Don’t you see

I might fail you

I might let you down

You can come close, but don’t get too close

I’ll hold you for a moment, but only just a moment

If you stay here too long you just might notice

the things in me that diminish my heroics

and be hurt or worse, disappointed, by my unheroic humanity.

I’ve heard some say “never meet your heroes” because they’re not all they’re chalked up to be,

and I’ve seen that proven true

So now I’m afraid of becoming one.

Wary of how much you look up to me.

I think “If you only knew.”

I want to embrace this admiration,

this affection,

this surprising obsession

But I don’t want you to cling to me,

This unworthy vessel that you see.

But maybe,

Maybe I underestimate what it is they really see,

Maybe the hero they are drawn to is really Christ in me

God working through me

Yes in my own unique expression

But maybe the profound impression they have is actually Jesus.

And while right now, they may be drawn to me

One day they’ll come to know that I’m just like them,

and they’ll realize what they were drawn to in me, and that is Him.

And whether that’s today or on some future date;

we can humbly look up to Jesus together,

we can worship Him,

and admire Him,

side by side,

same level,

eyes fixed,

on our one true Hero.