Watching your kids grow up is one of those beautiful contradictions of parenthood: you can be incredibly proud of who they’re becoming while also quietly wishing you could freeze time.

In this episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ have an honest, emotional conversation about the bittersweet experience of letting go as our children become more independent — and how that experience can feel even more complicated when you’re raising kids abroad.

Amanda shares what it was like to say goodbye as her nine-year-old son flew to Madrid on a school trip — his first time travelling abroad without his parents. What should have been a moment of excitement and pride also brought a surprising amount of grief and anxiety as Amanda realized that her little boy is becoming a big kid.

CJ reflects on her own smaller, everyday moments of letting go, from watching her four-year-old confidently navigate a doctor's appointment to realizing that her almost-three-year-old can do far more independently than she sometimes gives him credit for.

Together, they talk about:

• 💕 The emotional rollercoaster of watching our children become more independent
• ✈️ Why a school trip abroad can feel like such a huge milestone
• 😭 How two things can be true at the same time — we can be proud and heartbroken, excited and scared
• 🍼 Why milestones like weaning can unexpectedly bring up feelings about our children growing up
• 🇩🇪 How parenting in Germany can encourage independence from a young age
• 🌍 The unique expat experience of raising children who may one day feel at home in multiple countries
• 🏡 What it means to be a “safe harbor” that our children can always return to
• 👣 Learning to support our children's independence without hovering
• 💭 The identity shifts that happen for us as our children need us in different ways
• 👀 The unique experience of being the people who hold the memories of our children's childhood when extended family lives far away
• ❤️ Learning to grieve the little versions of our children while making space for who they're becoming

One of the biggest reminders from this conversation is that letting go isn't one single moment — it's a lifelong rhythm. Our children will continue to need us, but the way they need us will change.

And perhaps that's the heart of parenting: helping them feel secure enough to go out into the world while knowing they always have somewhere safe to come home to.

🎧 What We're Listening To

Amanda recommends:
How to Let Go of What You Can't Control and Redirect Your Energy — Mel Robbins Podcast

CJ recommends:
Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

💕 Connect With Amanda

Amanda Graybill is a childbirth educator and birth doula supporting international families through pregnancy, birth and early parenthood in Frankfurt and beyond.

Through Mindful Mama, Amanda offers English-language childbirth education, GentleBirth and other support for international families.

🌐 mindfulmamafrankfurt.com

Amanda's work includes online and in-person support for international families, including childbirth education and pregnancy/parenting support.

💕 Connect With CJ

CJ / Camilla Jensen is a couples counselor specializing in expat and international couples.

Through Worlds Apart Counseling, CJ offers support to couples navigating relationships, connection and the unique challenges that can come with building a life abroad.

🌐 Worlds Apart Counseling

You can learn more about CJ's work and book a session through her website.

Summer is (almost) over, and we're back in Frankfurt! ☀️🍂

In this lighthearted summer catch-up episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ sit down to share what their summers actually looked like—from family trips and international travel to summer camps, weddings, World Cup fever, and the very real exhaustion that comes with travelling with kids.

CJ spent much of the summer at her family's holiday house in Sweden before heading to Denmark, while Amanda packed in trips to Valencia, Amsterdam and Utrecht, plus a children's sailing course back in Germany. Needless to say, neither summer was exactly restful!

We chat about the joys (and challenges!) of travelling with children, including putting kids into a Spanish summer camp for the first time, navigating cultural differences around mealtimes and bedtime, and discovering that sometimes… home really is where the pretzels are. 🥨

We also talk about the reality of having young children at home during the long summer break—with no school or daycare—and why getting back to a regular routine can feel like such a relief for parents.

But summer wasn't all chaos. We reflect on our summer bucket lists, the spontaneous moments that ended up being some of our favourites, and the things we want to carry with us into autumn. For CJ, that's the cosy feeling of Swedish summers and spending time in nature. For Amanda, it's making more room for fun and spontaneity while letting go of some of that summer FOMO.

And because autumn feels a little bit like a new year when you're a parent, we also look ahead to what's coming next—including CJ's exciting new chapter as a certified couples counsellor.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What a summer of expat family life really looks like
• Travelling around Europe with young children
• Spending the summer in Sweden, Denmark, Spain and the Netherlands
• Putting children into a Spanish summer camp for the first time
• The challenges (and unexpected joys) of navigating different cultures
• Why Spanish family events happening at 10pm can be a shock to the system!
• The never-ending work of feeding and entertaining children during school holidays
• The relief of getting back to school, daycare and regular routines
• Our summer bucket lists—and whether we actually completed them
• Summer nights, World Cup fever and spontaneous adventures
• The funny ways our children develop a sense of belonging
• Why sometimes home is where the pretzels are 🥨
• What we want to leave behind and carry into the autumn
• Embracing cosy autumn vibes and making plans to get through the winter
• CJ's new chapter as a certified couples therapist

Podcast Recommendations

This episode's recommendations include:

Two Cents Podcast – A witty and honest podcast about the experience of living life in Germany as African women.

Camp Shame – A documentary-style, true-crime-ish podcast about a children's weight-loss camp. Definitely one for a particular mood!

A little reminder for fellow expat parents

Sometimes a holiday isn't actually a holiday.

Travelling with children can mean cooking, cleaning, managing bedtime, navigating unfamiliar places and keeping everyone entertained—just in a different location. But that doesn't mean the memories aren't worth it.

Whether your summer was full of adventures or mostly involved trying to keep everyone fed and alive, we hope this episode reminds you that you're not the only one figuring it out as you go.

Thanks for joining us for this little summer update. We're so happy you're here❤️

More from Amanda & CJ

🌍 CJ — Worlds Apart Counseling

CJ is a couples therapist who works with expat and international couples, helping partners navigate the unique challenges that can come with building a relationship and family across cultures.

👉 Worlds Apart Counseling

🌿 Amanda — Mindful Mama Frankfurt

Amanda is a childbirth educator and doula offering childbirth education and support for international families in Frankfurt, with classes available in English.

👉 Mindful Mama Frankfurt

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed as a mother that you suddenly snap—and then immediately feel guilty or ashamed about it?

In this episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ are having an honest, vulnerable conversation about something many mothers experience but few feel comfortable talking about: mom rage.

Mom rage can feel frightening and completely out of character. It might look like yelling, snapping, feeling like you’re about to explode, or simply needing to get away because your nervous system has reached its limit. And while the aftermath can bring a huge amount of guilt and shame, this episode explores a different way of understanding these moments: what if rage is a signal rather than a personal failure?

Amanda and CJ talk openly about their own experiences with mom rage, including the everyday situations that can push them over the edge—from bedtime battles and getting out the door in the morning to overstimulation, expectations, and the enormous mental load of motherhood.

They also explore why anger can be particularly complicated for women. CJ shares insights from Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly about the ways women are often socialized to suppress anger, while Amanda reflects on the difference between ordinary anger and the feeling of rage that seems to take over before you have a chance to respond differently.

And then there’s the expat parenting piece.

When you're raising children abroad, the overwhelm of motherhood can come with another layer of complexity: parenting in a language that isn't your first, navigating unfamiliar systems, worrying about being judged, and trying to reconcile different cultural expectations about what "good parenting" looks like.

We also talk about the difference between guilt and shame, why shame can keep mothers isolated, and how connection and community can help us move from “I am a bad mom” toward “I did something I wish I had handled differently.”

Most importantly, we talk about what can actually help.

From noticing the early physical signs of overwhelm, taking a break, stepping out of the room, asking your partner to take over, grounding yourself, and using tools to reduce sensory overload, Amanda and CJ share some practical strategies that can help you catch yourself before you get on the “crazy train.”

And if you do snap? Repair—with your children, with yourself, and with the people you trust.

Because mom rage is a nervous-system response to overwhelm, not proof that you're a bad mother.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What mom rage actually feels like
• Why mom rage can feel so different from ordinary anger
• Overstimulation, stress, sleep deprivation and the mental load of motherhood
• The connection between anger, boundaries and unmet needs
• Why women are often taught to suppress anger
• Guilt vs. shame—and why the distinction matters
• The role of the nervous system and our fight-or-flight response
• Recognizing the warning signs before you reach your breaking point
• Practical strategies for managing overwhelm
• Repairing with your children after you've snapped
• Parenting across cultures and navigating conflicting expectations
• The additional pressures of expat motherhood
• Why community and connection are so important
• Learning to listen to your anger without taking it out on your children

If you've ever wondered, “Why am I reacting like this? I love my children so much—so why do I feel like I'm about to explode?”—this conversation is for you.

You are not alone. You are not a bad mother. And you don't have to carry the shame by yourself.

Resources mentioned in this episode

📖 Mom Rage: Understanding Anger Before It Erupts

📖 Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly

🎧 The Motherhood Sessions

🎧 Motherhood Until Yesterday — including the episode On Mom Rage with Mina Dupin

Keywords

expat parenting, expat motherhood, expat family life, expat parenting tips, expat family support, mom rage, motherhood, maternal anger, parenting overwhelm, nervous system, motherhood abroad, international families

Having a baby is a huge life transition. Having a baby in a foreign country — while trying to navigate a complicated bureaucracy in a language that isn't your own — can add a whole other layer of overwhelm.

In this episode of Expecting Expats, we talk with Marijke, co-founder of Elterngeld Help, about one of the less glamorous realities of expat family life in Germany: paperwork.

From figuring out whether you're eligible for Elterngeld to understanding the difference between Basiselterngeld and ElterngeldPlus, there is a lot to understand — and many international parents don't realise just how much planning can affect the benefits they receive.

Marijke shares her own experience of becoming a parent in Germany as a Dutch-British expat, including navigating the system as a self-employed, privately insured parent. Her experience of trying to understand a 23-page Elterngeld application eventually inspired her and her husband to create Elterngeld Help, a tool designed to make the process more accessible for international families.

In this episode, we talk about:

• ​Why German bureaucracy can feel particularly overwhelming for international parents
• ​The emotional and mental load of navigating paperwork during the postpartum period
• ​What Elterngeld is and who may be eligible
• ​The differences between Basiselterngeld and ElterngeldPlus
• ​How working part-time can affect your Elterngeld
• ​Why self-employed parents need to understand how their income is calculated
• ​How having another child can affect your Elterngeld calculation
• ​Why it's important to understand your eligibility rather than assuming you don't qualify
• ​How visa status can affect Elterngeld eligibility
• ​Why some families wait months before receiving their first payment
• ​The importance of planning ahead if you're self-employed or considering having another baby
• ​Additional considerations for families with premature babies, twins, triplets or children with disabilities
• ​And why asking for support isn't a sign that you're failing — especially when you're navigating parenthood abroad

About Elterngeld Help:

Marijke runs Elterngeld Help, an English-language service for parents applying for Elterngeld in Germany. Free eligibility check, calculator and month planner. If you'd rather not fight the 23-page German form yourself, they'll go through your situation on a call and send back your complete, filled-in application within 48 hours. You sign it and send it off.

Expecting Expats listeners get €30 off that service, €149 instead of €179, with code EXPECTING30.

👉 Find out more: elterngeldhelp.com

More from Amanda & CJ

🌍 CJ — Worlds Apart Counseling

CJ is a couples therapist who works with expat and international couples, helping partners navigate the unique challenges that can come with building a relationship and family across cultures.

👉 Worlds Apart Counseling

🌿 Amanda — Mindful Mama Frankfurt

Amanda is a childbirth educator and doula offering childbirth education and support for international families in Frankfurt, with classes available in English.

👉 Mindful Mama Frankfurt

Podcasts we recommend 🎧

As always, we ended the episode by sharing what we've been listening to lately.

Marijke recommends: 🎧 Child — a BBC/Channel 4 podcast she listened to during pregnancy. She found it informative and reassuring, particularly because it helped her understand what was happening in her body throughout pregnancy.

Amanda recommends:🎧 The Mel Robbins Podcast — Amanda has been listening to Mel Robbins again and particularly enjoyed a recent episode featuring an orthopaedic surgeon and longevity specialist, discussing ways women can support their long-term health and strength as they age.

CJ recommends:🎧 Real Survival Stories — CJ has been listening to this podcast before falling asleep and particularly recommends the episode “Saved by a Humpback Whale,” a fascinating and touching story about a researcher who has an extraordinary encounter with a humpback whale.

Some conversations are simply too valuable to leave in the archives.

In this special re-release of Expecting Expats, we're taking you back to one of our favourite early episodes, when CJ and former co-host Kari sat down with birth doula and GentleBirth instructor Amanda while both eagerly awaiting the arrival of their baby boys.

At the time of this recording, Kari and CJ were preparing for birth themselves, and Amanda guided them through what it really means to prepare—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally—for one of life's biggest transitions.

As a birth doula and GentleBirth instructor, Amanda's approach has always centred on helping women feel informed, confident, and empowered. Rather than focusing on achieving one specific type of birth, she encourages parents to build the knowledge, mindset, and tools they need to make decisions that feel right for them, no matter how their birth unfolds.

For families navigating pregnancy abroad, this message can feel even more important. Different healthcare systems, unfamiliar birth practices, language barriers, and being far from your usual support network can leave many expectant parents feeling uncertain. Amanda reminds us that while we can't control every aspect of birth, we can prepare ourselves, understand our options, and advocate for our needs.

What is GentleBirth?

GentleBirth is a childbirth education and mindset programme that combines evidence-based birth education with mindfulness, breathing techniques, sports psychology, and cognitive training. Its goal isn't to promise a perfect or pain-free birth—instead, it helps parents develop confidence, resilience, and practical coping strategies so they can approach labour feeling calm, informed, and empowered.

One of the core principles Amanda shares throughout this episode is that every woman deserves autonomy during birth. Understanding your options, asking questions, making informed decisions, and having a supportive birth partner can make a significant difference to your overall birth experience.

In this episode, we talk about:

* What GentleBirth is and how it differs from traditional birth preparation

* Preparing mentally and emotionally for labour

* Building confidence before birth

* Why autonomy and informed decision-making matter

* How birth partners can become your greatest source of support

* Letting go of the idea of the "perfect" birth

* Preparing for birth while living abroad

* Feeling empowered, regardless of how your birth unfolds

Our Favourite Expat Parenting Tips from This Episode:

✨ Learn about your birth options before labour begins.

✨ Choose a birth partner who understands how to advocate for your wishes.

✨ Preparation isn't about controlling birth—it's about building confidence and flexibility.

✨ Ask questions and don't be afraid to speak up for yourself.

✨ Remember that every birth is unique, and there is no single "right" way to give birth.

A Reminder for Every Expectant Parent

Birth rarely goes exactly as planned, but preparation can help you meet the unexpected with confidence.

Whether you're planning a home birth, hospital birth, medicated birth, or caesarean birth, Amanda's message remains the same: you deserve to understand your choices, feel supported, and have a voice throughout your birth experience.

For anyone navigating pregnancy while living abroad, this episode offers reassurance that knowledge, preparation, and the right support can help you feel more confident wherever in the world you're giving birth.

Because empowering parents doesn't begin when the baby arrives—it begins during pregnancy.

We hope you enjoy revisiting this special conversation with Amanda, and if you're hearing it for the first time, we hope it leaves you feeling informed, inspired, and ready to approach birth with confidence.

Find out more about Amanda’s work here: https://www.mindfulmamafrankfurt.com

Find CJ here: www.worldsapartcounseling.com

What happens when your family life changes dramatically while living far from home? In this heartfelt and deeply honest episode of Expecting Expats, we sit down with author, speaker, and founder of Ignite Spark, Louisette Winkel, to discuss one of the most challenging topics many families face: navigating separation and divorce while raising children abroad.

As an expat mother of three, Louisette shares her personal journey of moving from the Netherlands to Germany, building a new life abroad, and later facing an unexpected separation. Through her story, she offers powerful insights into resilience, personal growth, and creating a healthy co-parenting relationship that keeps children's wellbeing at the centre.

Together, we explore how expat parenting can become even more complex during major life transitions, especially when you're far from your usual support systems and navigating different legal systems, languages, and cultural expectations.

This episode is filled with practical advice, hope, and reminders that even in life's most difficult moments, it's possible to create stability, connection, and a new vision for your family.

In this episode, we talk about:

* Navigating separation and divorce while living abroad

* How expat life can add additional challenges to co-parenting

* Supporting children through major family transitions

* Creating a new family structure after divorce

* Why personal growth is essential during difficult seasons of life

* Helping children feel safe and heard during change

* The importance of communication and collaboration in co-parenting

* Finding community and rebuilding your support system as an expat parent

* Creating new family traditions and redefining what family looks like

Key Takeaways for Expat Parents

✨ Children need honesty, reassurance, and stability during periods of change.

✨ It's okay to acknowledge your own grief while still supporting your children.

✨ Co-parenting works best when parents focus on what they can control and keep their children's needs at the centre.

✨ Building a new version of family life takes time, patience, and flexibility.

✨ Seeking professional support, such as family or play therapy, can make a huge difference during transitions.

Our Favourite Expat Parenting Tips from This Episode:

* Keep communication open and age-appropriate with your children.

* Involve children in conversations about new family routines when possible.

* Inform schools and caregivers about major changes happening at home.

* Lean on your community and ask for support when you need it.

* Focus on creating a sense of safety and consistency for your children.

* Remember that healing and rebuilding take time.

A Reminder for Every Expat Parent

Separation and divorce are never easy, and navigating them while living abroad can feel especially overwhelming. But this episode is a powerful reminder that there is no perfect way to move through difficult transitions.

With patience, support, and intentional communication, families can find a new rhythm and create a version of expat family life that still feels loving, connected, and secure.

Whether you're currently navigating separation, supporting a friend through it, or simply looking for expat parenting tips and insights into building resilient families abroad, this conversation offers compassion, practical advice, and hope.

Because sometimes the greatest gift we can give our children is showing them that even in difficult seasons, families can adapt, heal, and grow together.

Connect with Louisette Winkel

Book: Flip Your Script

Instagram: @ignitespark4u

Website: https://www.ignitespark4u.com

Summer has officially arrived, and for many international families, that means a season filled with sunshine, travel plans, school holidays, and a healthy dose of chaos. In this special catch-up episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ sit down for an honest conversation about what life looks like right now as moms raising children abroad.

From summer bucket lists and family traditions to the realities of traveling with kids and attending weddings with little ones in tow, this episode is a reminder that expat parenting is often a balancing act between creating magical memories and simply surviving the logistics.

CJ shares exciting personal news as she completes her couples therapy training and prepares to open her own practice supporting international families and couples in Frankfurt. Amanda opens up about the anticipation—and anxiety—of a summer packed with family adventures, including a formal wedding with two energetic boys.

Together, they reflect on the changing seasons of expat motherhood, the freedom that comes as children get older, and the importance of embracing both the beautiful and messy moments of expat family life.

In this episode, we talk about:

* Creating summer bucket lists and family traditions

* Managing the end-of-school-year chaos as an expat family

* Travel hacks for long journeys with kids

* The realities of bringing children to weddings and special events abroad

* Finding time for yourself during motherhood

* Embracing the changing stages of parenting as children grow

* Building community and support while raising a family overseas

Our Favourite Expat Parenting Tips from This Episode:

* Create a simple family summer bucket list with experiences everyone can enjoy.

* Lower the pressure and focus on connection over perfection.

* Travel days are easier with snacks, screens, and realistic expectations.

* Remember that children are allowed to be children—even at fancy events.

* Give yourself permission to enjoy this season of life and say yes to a little fun.

A Reminder for Every Expat Parent

If you're feeling both excited and overwhelmed by summer, you're not alone. The pressure to make magical memories while managing work, travel, and everyday parenting is real. This episode is your reminder that there is no perfect way to do summer or parent abroad.

Whether you're planning adventures, visiting family, or simply trying to survive the school holidays, we hope this conversation makes you feel seen and supported.

Because expat family support starts with knowing that other parents are navigating the same joys and challenges right alongside you.

We'd Love to Hear From You

What are your family's summer plans? Are you already in holiday mode? Send us a voice message on Instagram—we'd love to hear your stories and may even feature them in a future episode of Expecting Expats.

Happy summer from our family to yours!

Podcast recommendations:

Molly’s morning meditations

Link to Amanda’s website: www.mindfulmamafrankfurt.com

Link to CJ’s webside: www.worldsapartcounseling.com

Have you ever found yourself standing in a crowded hallway, desperately searching for a missing shoe while one child refuses to get dressed, another is asking a thousand questions, and you're already late? If so, you're not alone.

In this episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ dive into what they're calling "hallway claustrophobia"—that overwhelming feeling that seems to strike during family transitions, especially during hectic mornings, school drop-offs, travel days, and bedtime routines.

Together, they explore why these moments feel so intense, how overstimulation affects both parents and children, and why these everyday challenges can feel even bigger when you're navigating expat family life. From managing the emotional load of parenting abroad to handling transitions in a new language and culture, this episode is a reassuring reminder that you're not failing—you're simply human.

Amanda and CJ share honest stories from their own experiences with expat parenting, discuss how stress and sensory overload impact the nervous system, and offer practical strategies for staying regulated when family life feels chaotic.

Whether you're newly abroad or have been living overseas for years, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, validated, and equipped with a few new tools to navigate the everyday challenges of expat motherhood, expat parenting, and raising children far from home.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

* Why mornings and family transitions can feel overwhelming

* The science behind parental overstimulation and transition fatigue

* How moving abroad impacts stress levels for parents and children

* Why kids often struggle with transitions and routines

* The connection between time pressure, sensory overload, and emotional regulation

* Practical ways to manage overwhelm during busy family moments

* The importance of repair after losing your patience

* How to create more calm and connection during daily routines

* Why self-compassion matters in expat family life

Expat Parenting Tips from This Episode:

* Slow down when possible—everything is not an emergency

* Notice signs of overstimulation before reaching your limit

* Take a breath or step away briefly when emotions start rising

* Prepare for transitions by giving children advance notice

* Remember the HALT check-in: Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?

* Focus on repair rather than perfection after difficult parenting moments

* Give yourself grace—raising a family abroad comes with unique challenges

Resources Mentioned

* Good Inside Podcast with Dr. Becky

* Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger by Soraya Chemaly

Connect With Us

Have you experienced "hallway claustrophobia" or another version of transition overwhelm? We'd love to hear from you.

Share your experiences, questions, and favorite expat parenting tips with us. Your stories help strengthen the expat family support community we're building together.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another parent who might need the reminder that they're not alone.

Because parenting abroad is hard—but you don't have to do it alone.