Halloween is coming up this weekend and everyone is getting excited about getting scared! Woo hoo! That’s the fun type of chest-pounding, horror-movie watching, jump-out-of-your-skin terror that we can TOTALLY get behind. What we can’t (and absolutely WON’T) get behind is the never-ending fearmongering that many women—and girls—live with every single day.

Is “That’s so scary!” part of your daily vocabulary? Do you say, “I’m so afraid of [something that is happening out in the world] right now,” when you aren’t actually in a life-threatening situation at that moment? Has fear of the unknown stopped you from doing something you want to try or know you need to do? If so, this episode is for you!

So, grab a spooktacular libation and your favorite woobie, then get ready to get rid of gettin’ scared.

Cheryl’s cocktail: Ultimate Margarita

· Milagro Tequila 1.5 oz

· Cointreau 1 oz

· Grand Marnier .5 oz

· .5 oz fresh lime juice

Add tequila, Cointreau and Grand Marnier, and lime juice to a shaker, fill with ice. Shake will.

(FYI--Cheryl doesn’t eat salt, so for those who do and like a salt-rimmed glass, pour coarse kosher salt onto a small plate. Rub a lime wedge around the rim of the glass. Dip the rim into the salt.)

Pour over ice.

Garnish with a lime wedge

Stasha’s mocktail: Sparkling water with lime

(We had a VERY social weekend so decided to keep it alcohol free tonight.)

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN TONIGHT'S EPISODE

Why Do We Teach Girls That It’s Cute to Be Scared?, By Caroline Paul
Women are encouraged from childhood that they should be scared. “Aren’t you scared? Wasn’t that scary?”

• Boys/men are encouraged to NOT be scared.
• Women and especially girls should not only be encouraged to take risks, it’s time to STOP constantly telling women (and girls) that their natural state is to be afraid.
• Women especially have been coached, trained, immersed in fear-based language and it weakens their ability to make good choices, decisions, etc.

Emotional Addiction, Dr. Mark Steinberg

• People can become addicted to an emotional state, usually a negative one, such as fear or anger.
• Emotional addicts “feel, react, justify.”

Main points from Stasha

• Watch out for how you talk to yourself and others, especially girls
• Change your words and thoughts to courage- and curiosity-based language
• Minor pain and inconveniences are nothing to be “scared” of
• You should also train yourself to not be afraid of major events that DO NOT PERSONALLY THREATEN YOU. (Anger, resolute, determination, etc., are fine provided they spur corrective action.)
• “Feel, think, speak, act” cycle. When people continually repeat and verbalize fear (or anger) based words, they are already 3/4s to action, and actions based on fear (or anger) are rarely rational.