Quick question, did anyone see Vítor Pereira in M&M World this weekend? Marcus, Luke and Pete are wondering how he spent his time between Saturday's defeat and his inevitable Sunday morning sacking.

Elsewhere, Luke can't quite believe how bad Tottenham were in their loss to Chelsea. Plus, the FA Cup first round proper is back in all its glory.

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We're back with another game of Jack's Encyclopaedia! Luke is putting the belts on the line once again, but can Marcus or Vish end his reign of terror?

Pete is the ghoul with the gasm as he plays referee. Will the Luke Nation's walls finally crumble this week?

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What happens if Man United actually win five games in a row? All we know is that bloke will get a haircut and there is absolutely no way we would ever let Vish back on the Ramble.

Today, Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish mull over whether that is actually a possibility. Plus, we learn Pep Guardiola's morning routine and how many times a day Daniel Farke likes to have a shower.

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Enzo Maresca said Chelsea need to “grow up” after they got another red card last night. I am afraid to say we don't agree Enzo...

Today, Pete, Luke and Jim are here to glug on an erotic evening of Carabao action. Plus, more cheese puns and a wonderful story about Dermot Desmond's magnificent moustache.

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What's good for Marcus Speller isn't necessarily what's good for the Ramble after Fulham spoiled everyone's fun by beating Wycombe on penalties last night.

Today, Spellz is joined by Luke and Jim to unpick that. We also learn that the situation at Celtic needs medical intervention after Brother Brendy walked away from Paradise. Plus, John Terry displays why he might not be getting a job in management anytime soon.

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That's the question on everyone's lips right now. After three wins on the bounce in the Premier League, is Sir Jim Ratcliffe already drawing up plans to use The United Strand's luscious locks to insulate Old Trafford? Marcus, Jim and Pete have their theories...

Lots more theories on today's Mailbag, from load-bearing dildos in the London Stadium, to the greatest British footballer of all time. Plus, Pete constructs his Frankenstein's monster footballer and it is – truly – an abomination that no one would want to mark.

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Hubble bubble, Donny’s causing trouble. Pete appears to have placed a curse on Virgil van Dijk. Today, he warns Jim that David Raya could be next.

Marcus, Vish, Jim and Pete are here to review a weekend which included: The longest away day in English league football history, a 50-year-old becoming the first person to score in all ten divisions of the English football pyramid and the glorious return of the Scottish Cup.

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We've got a heavyweight battle for you today in the MBA Arena as the absolute monarchy of the Luke Nation faces off against Clan Campbell.

The belt (or the crown in Luke's case) is back on the line, but will it change hands after today's bout? Marcus is the man in the middle attempting (and failing) to keep order.

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