In this episode, I’m joined by Chantal, a mom of 2 who was partnered for 25 years and left when she was 39. She is a high-conflict divorce coach who specializes in narcissistic abuse and has created a one-of-a-kind 12-week program for those who are ready to leave and know they need expert support, strategies, and guidance. Chantal shares her expertise on navigating divorces from narcissistic partners. She emphasizes the importance of strategic planning, hiring the right professionals, and understanding the tactics used by narcissists during the divorce process. Chantal also discusses the role of boundaries, self-worth, and healing after such a traumatic experience.

Chantal further discusses the covert facade that narcissists often present to the outside world, which can make it challenging for victims to recognize the abuse they're experiencing. She shares insights on how narcissists maintain this facade, triangulate their victims, and gaslight them into doubting their reality. Chantal also emphasizes the importance of understanding these tactics to avoid falling prey to predatory relationships and prioritizing one's healing journey.

Join the show for these and many more!

[02:15] How Chantal became a high-conflict divorce coach

[14:13] Setting boundaries and avoiding resentment

[17:24] Unlearning the habit of putting others first

[21:17] Chantal's coaching process and preparing clients for divorce

[26:54] Chantal's 12-week program and post-program support

[28:11] The difficulty of recognizing covert abuse due to the narcissist's facade

[30:08] Triangulation and how narcissists use it to manipulate their victims

[33:39] The impact of the silent treatment as a form of abuse

[36:30] Narcissist's tendency to move on quickly and their tactics to secure new supply

[40:31] Benefits of understanding love bombing and future faking

[45:37] The dangers of couples therapy when dealing with a narcissist.

[49:25] The volatility and triggers victims experience, even after recognizing the abuse

• Narcissists are really about winning at all costs. It doesn't matter what kind we're talking about; if we're talking about a vulnerable or malignant, covert or overt, they all need to feel victorious.
• I don't think I'm perfect, but I know I'm a great catch. It's not that I'm perfect. I don't expect perfection. I don't want perfection. I don't look perfect. I don't act perfectly. I have issues. But overall, I am a good person, and I'm a really good catch.
• Having boundaries is your biggest protector and safeguard against abuse because abusers start small. It's the micro-testing of your boundaries when you first start.
• Even when it's good, even when you are on the best vacation, and you're having the time of your life, it's still abuse. Everything about the relationship is not real. You are constantly living in a state of survival.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

CONNECT WITH CHANTAL: www.thedivorcehub.ca

FOLLOW CHANTAL: https://www.instagram.com/chantal.contorines.coaching/