We’re bringing back one of our earlier Marriage IQ episodes—because the conversation around expectations in marriage is just as relevant today as ever.

In this episode, we unpack how unspoken and unrealistic expectations quietly shape marital satisfaction. Using pop-culture contrasts like Enchanted vs. Shrek, we explore how fantasy versions of love collide with real-life marriage. Along the way, we share personal stories (including a memorable Christmas gift mishap) and break down what research actually says about expectations and long-term happiness.

In this episode, we cover:

✅ Fairy Tales vs. Reality: What movies get wrong about marriage—and how that hurts real couples.
✅ The Expectation Trap: How unmet expectations create resentment, even when love is present.
✅ What Research Reveals: Insights from Eli Finkel and Dr. Jim McNulty on high vs. low expectations and marital outcomes.
✅ Where Expectations Hurt Most: Household roles, sex, in-laws, and parenting.
✅ Practical Tools: How to communicate expectations clearly and realistically—without blame or shutdown.

This is a repost of one of our previous episodes, and if you’ve never heard it—or need the reminder—it’s a powerful reset for how you think about marriage.

If you want a stronger, more fulfilling relationship, it starts with honest self-reflection and open conversations. Tune in and let’s rethink expectations—together.

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠

Busy. Tired. Running on fumes.
Sound familiar?

In Part 2 of our conversation with Dr. Greg Smalley (VP of Marriage at Focus on the Family), we talk about what really happens to marriages when life gets overwhelming—and why “we’ll fix it later” rarely works.

Greg shares a devastating personal story about his daughter’s marriage ending on her third anniversary, and how that moment reshaped the way he thinks about commitment, humility, and what actually sustains a marriage over time.

In this episode, we explore:

✨How busyness and exhaustion slowly disconnect couples

✨Why two empty people can’t build a healthy marriage

✨Why identity is always shifting—and why curiosity matters more than certainty

✨How caring for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential

✨Why small daily moments matter more than big getaways

✨A simple 10-minute High/Low check-in that keeps couples emotionally connected

If you’ve ever thought, “I didn’t sign up for this,” or feel like your marriage is surviving on leftovers, this conversation will meet you right where you are—with honesty, hope, and practical tools.

🎧 Listen in and learn how to stay connected—even in the busiest seasons of life.

🌐You can find Dr. Greg Smalley and learn more about their work at ⁠https://www.focusonthefamily.com/⁠

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠

You’re not bad at communication—you’re just missing a few critical skills.

In this episode of Marriage IQ, we’re joined by Dr. Greg Smalley (Focus on the Family) for a powerful conversation about why couples keep miscommunicating—and how small shifts in how you speak and listen can radically change your marriage.

From misunderstood questions and defensive responses to old conversations that keep resurfacing, we explore why saying “we’ve already talked about this” rarely works—and what to say instead.

You’ll learn :

✨Why communication breaks down even in loving marriages

✨How defensiveness blocks listening and fuels conflict

✨The role of curiosity in better conversations

✨How to repair communication after hurtful words

✨What emotionally mature couples say when things get tense

If you’re stuck in the same arguments, feel unheard, or don’t know how to talk without it escalating, this episode gives you language, clarity, and hope.

🌐You can find Dr. Greg Smalley and learn more about their work at https://www.focusonthefamily.com/

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠

Nicole Kidman had all four of our Marriage IQ Cornerstones… so why did the marriage still fall apart?
In this surprising episode, Heidi and Scott unpack what really sustains a relationship—from identity and intentionality to integrity and authenticity—using Nicole & Keith’s story as a springboard (with zero judgment… only compassion).

We talk “astroturfing” vs. real intimacy, why compromise isn’t the goal (collaboration is!), the dangers of parallel lives, and how even strong marriages can lose their roots.

If you want a scintillating, real, deeply connected marriage—not just one that looks good from a distance—this episode is for you.

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠

In Part 2 with Rick and Clancy Denton—hosts of The Loud Quiet—we dive into the beautiful, hilarious, and sometimes overwhelming realities of empty-nest life. From learning to coach (not control) your adult kids, to resisting the Mama-Bear rescue mission, to navigating the emotional squeeze of the sandwich generation, this episode is packed with relatable moments and marriage-strengthening wisdom.

You’ll hear stories about:
✨ Letting your kids feel their own emotions (even when yours flare up)
✨ Setting marriage-protecting boundaries
✨ The myth vs. reality of empty-nest freedom
✨ Grief, guilt, caregiving—and how couples stay connected through it all
✨ Why insight may be your new best friend in the empty nestWhether you’re approaching the empty nest, living in it, or feeling squeezed between parents and kids, this conversation will help you rethink how to thrive together in a brand-new season.

🌐You can find Rick And Clancy Denton and learn more about their work at :⁠⁠ ⁠https://www.theloudquiet.com/⁠

𝔽𝔹 The Loud Quiet community - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet ⁠

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠⁠

What happens when the kids leave and it’s just the two of you again? Rick and Clancy Denton decided not to survive the empty nest years—but to thrive in them. In this funny, real, and refreshingly honest episode, they share how rediscovering each other brought new laughter, adventure, and connection into their marriage. Whether you’re nearing empty-nest life or already in it, this episode will help you see this season as your most exciting yet.

🌐You can find Rick And Clancy Denton and learn more about their work at :⁠ ⁠https://www.theloudquiet.com/

𝔽𝔹 The Loud Quiet community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠

In Part 2 of our “How Not to Kill Your Spouse During the Holidays” series, we dive into the messy, funny, and surprisingly hopeful truth about December chaos. From marital meltdowns to mismatched traditions (IHOP Christmas Eve, anyone?), we unpack why the holidays make communication so hard—and how couples can actually thrive instead of barely surviving.

Inside this episode:
✨ Why failure is the secret ingredient to marital growth
✨ How to use a Couples Council to avoid holiday blowups
✨ FANOS, DEAR MAN, and other communication tools that actually work
✨ Stress-management strategies (mindful walks, bubble baths, and escaping perfectionism)
✨ The power—and hilarity—of traditions, even the accidental ones
✨ Why service, connection, and meaning matter more than perfect parties or perfect gifts

If the holidays make you anxious, emotional, hungry, overwhelmed, nostalgic, short-tempered, or all of the above, this episode is your cozy reminder that you’re not broken—you’re human. And you’re not alone.

Laugh with us. Learn with us. And maybe… build your own December Protocol. 😉

Listen now and make this holiday season more intentional, more connected, and maybe even… scintillating.

🔔Tune in to find out who won our $100 Date Night Giveaway! The winners are announced in this episode.

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠⁠

Does the most wonderful time of the year make you want to tie your spouse to a chair? You aren't alone. We love Christmas, but we don’t love the stress, the fatigue, and the arguments that come with it.

In Part 1 of this holiday survival series, we’re opening up our personal "December Protocol"—the strategy we developed after one too many holiday meltdowns (and one infamous leaf blower incident).

Join us as we discuss:

💡 The "December Protocol": Why you need a game plan taped to your planner before the 1st of the month.

💡Expectations vs. Reality: Why Scott’s stocking was empty and why Heidi is buying her own gifts.

💡Boundaries: Saying "no" to the 14th school concert to say "yes" to your sanity.

💡The "3-Gift Rule": How we simplified our shopping using the Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh method.

💡Prioritizing Us: Why research says desire should be high in December, but exhaustion kills the mood.

From "Jerusalem Dinners" at Circle K to managing family comparison, tune in to learn how to keep your marriage off the naughty list this year.

(Stay tuned for Part 2 on Friday where we cover Communication, Stress Management, and Traditions!)

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠