Baby non-essentials. What do you actually need?

Following on from our discussion last week, in this episode of Milk and Madness, we discuss items that we consider to be non-essential. We'll break down the items most people fall into the trap of buying and what we found we didn't use at all. Whether you’re preparing for a new arrival or wondering if you should buy that 'baby product', this episode will help you focus on what really matters and avoid common pitfalls.

Key takeaways:
Pass on the gimmicky items:
With so many products marketed to parents, especially first-time parents, it's hard to know what you actually need. If something seems like a standard product dressed up to look like a baby-specific product, it's probably a gimmick. Our advice? Pass on it. Repurposing something you already have or making do for the short term can save you a lot of money in the long run- we promise.

Seek advice from friends and fellow mums:
When contemplating buying an item, especially one with a hefty price tag, seek guidance from your mum friends. They'll quickly tell you if an item was a lifesaver and worth the money or if it ended up collecting dust. Who knows, they might even hand it over to you to try.

Curve the enthusiasm:
We know how exciting having a child can be, but do they really need shoes when they're only a few months old? Like, really? It's fine to buy things for your child, of course, but try to remain levelheaded and practical. Kids outgrow things incredibly quickly, meaning they won't get a lot of wear out of that cute outfit. Don't be shy to tell family and friends what you need; after all, they want to buy something that your child will actually use.

What we discussed:
00:00 Welcome to Milk and Madness
00:28 Non-Essential Baby Items
01:12 Breast Pump: To Buy or Not to Buy?
03:45 Bottle Warmer: Yay or Nay?
05:18 Bottle Sterilizer: Necessary or Not?
07:52 Diaper Bags: Do You Really Need One?
10:19 Baby Monitors: Essential or Overrated?
14:04 Nursing Pillows: Any Pillow Will Do
16:39 Baby Items for Later Stages
23:44 Final Thoughts and Farewell

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With love,

Nhi & Dee

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Baby essentials.

With so many items out there, what do you actually need?
In this episode of Milk and Madness, we get pragmatic about baby essentials. We'll break down the practical items every parent should consider, from baby gear to nursery necessities, and share insights on what we found to be truly indispensable versus what might just be extra fluff. Whether you’re preparing for a new arrival or looking to streamline your current setup, this episode will help you focus on what really matters and avoid common pitfalls.

Key takeaways:
Safety over aesthetics:
Safety is paramount for every baby product and practice. Always prioritise safety over convenience or aesthetics. Stay updated on safety guidelines for baby products by regularly checking reputable sources such as government agencies and child safety organisations. Avoid secondhand items if the full history is unknown to ensure they are safe. Ensure that all baby products, from toys to furniture, meet current safety standards. Regularly inspect items for wear and tear and replace anything that poses a potential hazard.

Planning and budgeting:
Plan purchases considering long-term use and family growth. Be mindful of your budget and prioritise essential, safe, and practical items. Avoid feeling overwhelmed by researching and understanding your family’s specific needs before shopping. Focus on quality over quantity to ensure the safety and durability of baby products.

Accept hand-me-downs:
Where possible, accept items that are offered. Babies outgrow things quickly, so many hand-me-downs remain in excellent condition and can last through multiple children. Accepting hand-me-downs can significantly reduce the cost of raising a child, allowing you to allocate funds to nappies, wipes and other essential items. However, remember to check the current safety standards, especially for items like car seats, cribs, and strollers, as older models might not comply with updated regulations.

What we discussed:
00:00 Introduction to Milk and Madness

00:22 Navigating baby products: Essentials vs. Non-Essentials

01:33 Secondhand baby Items

02:19 Essential Baby Item #1: The Cot

10:24 Essential Baby Item #2: The Stroller

15:58 Essential Baby Item #3: The Car Seat

22:58 Choosing the right pram

23:57 Debating the change table

26:33 The baby carrier dilemma

29:24 Essential baby items list

29:36 Nappies and wipes

30:35 Baby health and safety

31:08 Clothing and accessories

32:08 Feeding essentials

39:02 Bath time

41:42 Conclusion

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With love,

Nhi & Dee

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Gender reveal parties

Are they a fun-filled surprise? Or a glitter-filled mess? Is it all in good fun, or just too much? In today’s episode, we delve into the world of gender reveal parties and what the future might hold.

Key takeaways:
Practical Considerations: We love celebrating milestones for friends and family, but we prefer keeping it low-key for ourselves. Big parties like gender reveals and elaborate showers feel too stressful and attention-heavy. However, both hosting and skipping the gender reveals have their perks. For us, we skipped the gender reveal, which avoided an excess of gender-specific gifts and kept things more practical and cost-effective.

If you do decide to host, below are some points for consideration:

1. Opt for Neutral Items: Choose gender-neutral baby items to ensure they can be reused for future children, saving money and reducing waste.
2. Prioritise Budget: Set a clear budget for any celebrations and stick to it. This helps avoid overspending and keeps celebrations manageable.
3. Communicate with Family and Friends: Let loved ones know your preference for practical, reusable gifts to avoid an influx of gender-specific items that may not be needed.

Fairness and Sibling Dynamics: The excitement of your first child can be overwhelming, often coupled with family pressure to host a party. However, with each new child, celebrations naturally become more subdued due to increased experience, time constraints, and the demands of managing a larger family. Not replicating the same celebrations for each child can be perceived as unfair. As our understanding of gender evolves, gender reveal parties may shift towards more inclusive celebrations or become less important. Consider if a gender reveal is truly something you want.

What we discussed:
00:45 Intro
01:15 Our yay or nay
02:14 Did we have a gender reveal party?
06:19 Gender disappointment
08:20 The cost factor
11:03 The future of gender reveal parties
13:42 Consistency with siblings
19:02 Outro

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Remember, you’re doing a great job!

With love,

Nhi & Dee

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Partners to Parents: Such a dramatic change occurs when your bundle of joy arrives. Is there anything that can prepare you? We say yes and no. The classes and lessons from friends and family can give you a theoretical understanding of what to expect. The reality, however, is generally different.

Key takeaways:

Impact on Relationships:

• Having children can profoundly impact a relationship. A baby is not a solution to fix a troubled relationship, as it often magnifies existing issues.
• Resentment can occur due to uneven distribution of baby care responsibilities. Although hormones can intensify these feelings, communication and regular check-ins can help identify if those feelings are valid and help resolve them.

Adjusting Expectations:

• The arrival of a baby will disrupt routines and affect attention and intimacy.
• Becoming a parent will require adjustments, however, focus on the child can sometimes lead to neglecting your partner. Making time to be a couple, not just parents, can help maintain connection.

Advice for Prospective Parents:

• Nothing can fully prepare you for what's to come and the significant adjustments required.
• Seeking help in real time might be the best way to handle each situation as it presents itself.

What we discussed:
00:31 Intro
02:23 Early days- the frustrations and hurdles
07:14 Resentment and hormones
10:37 Advice from first-time dads
13:09 Highlighting the cracks
14:52 Not knowing what you don't know
18:12 Hitting the 12-month mark
20:13 The shift in attention
22:50 The issues during the first 12 months
28:45 Outro

Connect with us:

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Remember, you’re doing a great job!

With love,

Nhi & Dee

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Homework.
Are we one? Were we one? Will we become one? One of those parents who end up doing their kids homework. In an attempt to help kids with their homework or projects do you end up taking over and doing it all? Today's topic covers our thoughts on whether we should be doing our kids homework. and navigating the school politics.

Key takeaways:

• Helping vs. doing: When it comes to homework and projects, we're all about giving guidance and support without taking over completely. It's not just about bonding; we want our kids to grow independently without us doing everything for them. Stepping back lets them feel the satisfaction of finishing tasks and being proud of their work. And setting some boundaries (even for ourselves) leaves room for mistakes, learning, and all that good stuff.
• Lesson in fairness: Life isn't fair and to a child who misses out on an award or prize, when the winner maybe got a little too much help isn't ideal. Parental involvement in homework or projects can sometimes lead to situations where children receive recognition or rewards that they didn't entirely earn. This situation however presents an important life lesson about fairness, effort, and integrity. It opens the door to a conversation about fairness, resilience and adaptability, preparing children for future challenges where fairness may not always prevail. It also underscores the importance of putting in genuine effort and taking responsibility for one's work, regardless of external factors.

What we discussed:
00:45 Intro
01:15 Our yay or nay
01:49 Our parents' approach
06:22 Our current homework experience
10:42 Other parents' involvement
14:11 Navigating conversations with the teacher
17:31 Outro

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Remember, you’re doing a great job!

With love,

Nhi & Dee

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Pets. Our furry, scaly, and feathered friends. Did you have a pet growing up that you were responsible for, or were you not allowed to but always wanted one? In today's Yay or Nay episode, we're discussing the joys and challenges of owning a pet while raising young children.

Key takeaways:

• Lessons it teaches our kids: Having a pet teaches kids about loyalty, routine, and responsibility, which are invaluable qualities to have. Pets also help children develop empathy, patience, and a sense of accountability.
• Start small: If you want to introduce these lessons but can't commit to a larger pet, consider starting small. A fish, rabbit or fostering a pet can be a great way to ease into pet ownership and teach these important life skills.
• Coping with loss: Owning a pet inevitably involves loss. Teaching kids about loss, grief, and sadness through the lifecycle of a pet is a delicate but essential life lesson.
• Understanding what it takes to own a pet: Beyond the financial cost, owning a pet requires significant time, effort, and patience. The mess and care involved can be overwhelming, and it's important to recognise that getting a pet might not be the best option for every family. Assessing your family's readiness and commitment is crucial before bringing a pet into your home.

What we discussed:
00:24 Intro
00:50 Are we a yay or nay?
01:02 Pets in our childhood
02:33 The downside and alternatives
04:13 Burden vs gain
08:15 Getting comfortable with mess
11:36 Starting small
12:16 Dealing with the loss of a pet
15:25 Pets vs food
19:05 Outro

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With love,

Nhi & Dee

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Allowances. Are you paying your kids a weekly allowance to get things done around the house? Or are you using allowances as a tool to teach kids financial responsibility? Or both? Today's Yay or Nay episode is all about our current views and takes on paying our kids an allowance.

Key takeaways:

• Defining paid vs unpaid tasks: Ensure your child understands the conditions associated with their allowance. Clearly distinguish between tasks they are paid for and responsibilities they have as part of the family.
• Teaching responsibility first: Laying the foundations of responsibility first helps kids understand what is expected of them before they start doing things for payment. This instils a sense of duty and accountability as part of the family unit.
• Preparing them for the real world: Having kids contribute financially in some form helps prepare them for adulthood, making the transition to financial independence less jarring and more manageable.
• Educate about money: Talk openly about money and provide kids with the tools they need for the future. Teaching them about saving, spending, and financial planning sets them up for success.

What we discussed:
00:16 Intro
00:42 Are we a yay or nay?
01:01 What conversations we're having to teach our kids about money
08:22 Understanding flow-on effects of not completing their 'chores'
09:11 Teaching responsibility
10:54 Preparing them for adulthood
12:56 Having open conversations about money
16:50 Pitfalls of credit, afterpay and other money that's not ours
19:07 Outro

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Remember, you’re doing a great job!

With love,

Nhi & Dee

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Sleepovers. Are you excited to get the kids out of the house so you can have a night off, or does the idea bring up all sorts of anxiety? In today's Yay or Nay episode, we'll discuss our thoughts on sleepovers. Did we have them as kids, and how have they shaped our view as parents?

Key takeaways:

• Knowing the hosts: Ensure you know the sleepover hosts well enough to reduce anxiety. Being comfortable with the host will put you at ease, allowing you to know your child is in safe hands.
• Modifying the experience: Consider attending the sleepover to help out or picking up your child early. This will allow your child to experience the social interaction and fun of a sleepover without the stress and anxiety.
• Don't rush: Get all the details about the sleepover. Speaking with the host family to ensure they are aware of your thoughts and feelings about the experience will help make the experience more enjoyable for all.
• Open communication: Ensure your child has the ability to contact you if needed. Providing them with a phone will give them the independence to do so.

What we discussed:
00:19 Intro
01:38 Yay or Nay on sleepovers for Nhi
03:25 Yay or Nay on sleepovers for Dee
05:03 Important points to consider about sleepovers
09:02 How to keep your kids safe during a sleepover
10:51 Navigating being asked to attend a sleepover
12:21 Declining an invitation
13:50 Keeping the communication lines open
15:38 Outro

Connect with us:

Email us at contact@milkandmadness.com and let us know how you’re going

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Remember, you’re doing a great job!

With love,

Nhi & Dee

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