Episodios

  • Why Relationships Hurt — And Why That’s Not a Problem

    Why Relationships Hurt — And Why That’s Not a Problem
    Dec 9 2025
    Dr. Susan Campbell on Inconvenient Pain, Triggers & The PauseWhy conflict is normal — and how learning to “pause” can transform your closest relationships.Psychologist, author, and renowned couples therapist Dr. Susan Campbell returns to Mind Body Health & Politics for a powerful conversation about emotional pain, conflict, and the skills most of us were never taught.She and Dr. Richard Louis Miller explore why relationships inevitably hurt, why humans instinctively avoid emotional discomfort, and how this avoidance prevents us from growing. Instead of trying to “fix” or escape pain, Susan teaches how to feel it, understand it, and use it as a doorway to deeper connection.Susan explains why old childhood wounds get triggered in relationships, how the nervous system reacts under stress, and why even minor disagreements can unleash outsized reactions. She and Richard discuss the universal patterns couples fall into — denial, control, withdrawal, blame — and how practicing the pause interrupts these automatic behaviors.They also explore the deeper psychological landscape: why civilized cultures are addicted to control, how intimacy exposes our vulnerabilities, and why emotional courage is essential for personal and collective evolution.This conversation is honest, warm, practical, and deeply human. If you've ever wondered why conflict feels overwhelming — or how to navigate it with clarity and compassion — this episode offers tools that can change your relationships from the inside out.GuestDr. Susan Campbell — psychologist, couples therapist, group facilitator, and author of 12+ books including Getting Real, Truth in Dating, The Couples Journey, and From Triggered to Tranquil. She is internationally known for her work on honesty, emotional triggers, and relationship communication.Key TopicsWhy emotional pain is normal — not a sign something is “wrong”“Inconvenient pain” and why relationships activate our earliest woundsHow childhood patterns influence adult reactionsTriggers: what they are, why they happen, and how to recognize themThe body’s role in emotional reactions: fight, flight, freeze, control, or withdrawalWhy most of us avoid pain — and how this avoidance creates more sufferingThe Pause: how to interrupt spirals before real damage occursHow conscious breathing calms the nervous system after activationCompassionate self-inquiry: what to do after you pauseHow to identify your personal “control patterns”Saying no with kindness vs. protecting yourself with avoidanceExpansion of emotional capacity as a path to personal evolutionWhy our culture trains us to answer quickly — and how slowing down changes everythingHow relationships become mirrors that reveal unhealed woundsTeaching emotional intelligence to children — and why it mattersWhy genuine relating is more important than managing outcomesTimestamps00:00 — Why humans need community to thrive00:58 — Introducing Dr. Susan Campbell01:20 — Susan’s core message: expanding our capacity for emotional discomfort02:33 — What “inconvenient pain” really means03:45 — Why humans avoid painful truths04:19 — Normal frustrations inside relationships05:18 — Why our culture romanticizes ease — and misleads us06:40 — Pain as an opportunity for emotional growth07:51 — Childhood wounds and how relationships reactivate them09:30 — Real-life example: wanting different things at the same time10:55 — Triggered reactions: control, withdrawal, shutdown11:53 — How to recognize your trigger patterns13:45 — How to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it15:20 — How triggers mix the past with the present17:58 — The value of seeing your old patterns clearly19:51 — Why conflict escalates so fast20:26 — Susan’s signature tool: The Pause22:01 — Why talking while triggered never works23:55 — How to calm your nervous system during a pause25:30 — “You know the pause is working when you’re no longer blaming.”25:46 — Conscious breathing as emotional regulation26:36 — Why discipline leads to long-term harmony28:36 — Emotional skills we should teach children30:01 — Beyond the pause: compassionate self-inquiry31:14 — How self-compassion arises naturally after nervous-system calming33:22 — Why these tools should be taught in schools35:30 — Addiction to control in modern culture37:21 — Saying no with kindness39:14 — Control patterns: how we avoid discomfort41:27 — Why taking time to respond feels threatening in our culture43:28 — What happens when we fear uncomfortable outcomes45:51 — Susan’s final additional insight47:37 — Closing reflections and where to find Susan’s work This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.mindbodyhealthpolitics.org/subscribe
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    48 m
  • What BDSM Can Teach Us About Happiness & Human Connection

    What BDSM Can Teach Us About Happiness & Human Connection
    Dec 2 2025
    What BDSM Can Teach Us About Happiness & Human ConnectionInside Dr. Alicia Walker’s research on BDSM, stigma, and deep community.Sociologist Dr. Alicia M. Walker joins Mind Body Health & Politics to discuss one of the most surprising findings in her career: people involved in BDSM report strikingly high levels of emotional well-being, connection, and life satisfaction.Drawing from the largest BDSM study ever conducted—over 100 in-depth interviews and more than 2,400 survey participants—Dr. Walker discovered that the happiness reported by practitioners has little to do with the sexual practices themselves. Instead, it comes from the psychology around BDSM: communication, consent, identity, clarity, and community.Richard and Dr. Walker explore why BDSM remains deeply stigmatized; how secrecy shapes family relationships; why communication in BDSM scenes is far more explicit than in most romantic partnerships; and how chosen communities of 30–50 people function as support networks in an age of loneliness.They discuss creativity, emotional expression, gender expectations, injury and consent, political identity, and the role of freedom from societal judgment. The conversation reveals something far deeper than kink: a blueprint for connection and honesty that many people crave but rarely experience.This episode is not about the behavior itself—it’s about what it means to be fully seen, accepted, and connected.GuestDr. Alicia M. Walker — Associate Professor of Sociology at Missouri State University; researcher of sexuality, relationships, and gender; co-author with Dr. Arielle Kuperberg; and author of Charmed: The Secret Lives of BDSM Practitioners.Key TopicsThe largest BDSM study ever conductedWhy BDSM practitioners report unusually high levels of happinessCommunication, consent, and clarity as core psychological toolsHow secrecy shapes family and social relationshipsBDSM communities as powerful antidotes to lonelinessIdentity formation through roles, dynamics, and self-understandingCreativity and emotional expression inside BDSM relationshipsThe stigma surrounding sexuality in AmericaMisconceptions created by media portrayalsPolitical and cultural factors influencing sexual shameThe importance of negotiated boundaries and safe wordsWhy many participants live “vanilla” lives outside BDSMHow BDSM might inform healthier mainstream relationshipsTimestamps00:00 — Why human beings are tribal animals—and how isolation harms us02:03 — Introducing Dr. Alicia Walker and her path to studying BDSM03:37 — What sparked the study and why interest was so high04:51 — The largest BDSM dataset ever collected06:27 — Why studying sexuality is still stigmatized in academia07:36 — Cultural baggage around BDSM and sexual expression09:42 — How peers and the public react to sexual research11:28 — Censorship and pressure inside academic institutions13:30 — Family reactions to sexual research and BDSM stigma15:08 — Defining BDSM: roles, dynamics, and consent17:13 — Bondage, domination, sadism, masochism — explained19:24 — Safe words, negotiation, and communication22:31 — How the study was conducted: surveys, interviews, recruitment24:33 — 24/7 dynamics vs. private, at-home BDSM26:24 — Play parties, munches, and public vs. private participation29:04 — Why most BDSM practitioners blend into everyday life30:09 — BDSM identities vs. mainstream sexual identities32:35 — The biggest surprise: universal happiness33:47 — Community networks of 30–50 people35:27 — Loneliness, third places, and the power of chosen family37:45 — Aging, community, and Richard’s reflections on longevity40:03 — Mutual support: airport pickups, holidays, emotional care42:12 — How families handle disclosure (or don’t)43:05 — The cost of secrecy and selective honesty46:03 — Why deeper involvement increases happiness48:19 — Identity clarity, self-understanding, and role expression49:43 — Gender expectations and emotional freedom52:26 — Creativity as a major contributor to well-being53:32 — Political leanings inside BDSM communities56:03 — How to safely get involved in BDSM58:23 — The importance of sober, mutual consent01:00:22 — Creativity, identity, and designing your own life01:03:36 — Injury, safety, and shared responsibility01:05:11 — Age, access, and how people find community01:07:08 — Closing reflections and learning from the BDSM community This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.mindbodyhealthpolitics.org/subscribe
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    1 h y 2 m
  • The Science of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff

    The Science of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff
    Nov 25 2025
    Dr. Kristin Neff on the Science of Self-CompassionHow self-kindness rewires your emotions, your health, and your ability to cope.Dr. Kristin Neff — pioneering researcher, psychologist, and author of Self-Compassion — joins Mind Body Health & Politics for a deep exploration into the one skill most of us were never taught: how to treat ourselves with warmth instead of judgment.She and Dr. Richard Louis Miller discuss why human beings evolved to be harsh toward themselves, how self-criticism keeps us stuck in a threat state, and why self-compassion isn’t “soft”—it’s a biological accelerator for resilience, calm, and emotional strength.Kristin explains the three pillars of self-compassion, how physical touch signals safety to the nervous system, and why just 20 seconds a day of self-kindness can measurably change your mental health.She also shares deeply personal stories—from her own divorce to raising her autistic son—and how practicing self-compassion allowed her to stay grounded through fear, shame, and uncertainty.Richard and Kristin explore mindfulness, cultural conditioning, evolutionary psychology, childhood wounds, the crisis of anxiety in America, and why being on your own side is one of the most powerful health interventions we have.This conversation is warm, practical, and profoundly human—an invitation to finally stop being your own worst critic.GuestDr. Kristin Neff — Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin; co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion; author of Self-Compassion and Fierce Self-Compassion; and the world’s leading researcher on self-compassion.Key TopicsWhy we’re evolutionarily wired to be harsher with ourselves than with othersThe three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and kindnessHow physical touch activates the care system and quiets the threat systemWhy self-criticism creates anxiety but does not create motivationHow self-compassion improves immune function, inflammation, cortisol, and heart-rate variabilityThe difference between self-compassion, self-esteem, and self-appreciationHow cultural messages (“don’t get a big head”) distort our inner voiceUsing self-compassion in parenting—especially with neurodivergent childrenAutism, sensitivity, and the story of her son RowanHow shame dissolves when we remember our shared humanityWhy anxiety levels are rising nationwide—and how self-compassion protects usPractical tools: touch, gentle self-talk, mindful awareness, and 20-second practicesHow to take the Self-Compassion Scale and build a daily practiceTimestamps00:00 — Why human beings are tribal animals, and how isolation harms us02:27 — Introducing Dr. Kristin Neff & the concept of self-compassion03:16 — What self-compassion is and is not04:07 — Treating yourself as kindly as you treat others05:35 — Why we attack ourselves: evolution, fear, and defense mode07:51 — How compassion calms the nervous system08:32 — Richard’s own journey with cancer and gratitude09:30 — Kristin’s story: divorce, shame, and discovering self-kindness11:16 — How mindfulness allows compassion to arise13:31 — The three elements of self-compassion15:11 — Common humanity vs. self-pity16:31 — How self-talk rewires the brain17:58 — Self-compassion vs. self-esteem19:36 — Self-appreciation and acknowledging what you do well21:20 — Gratitude, wisdom, and interdependence22:57 — Richard’s cancer + heart failure story23:35 — How the immune system responds to compassion26:03 — Why culture discourages self-kindness27:28 — Being harsh to ourselves: a misunderstood attempt at safety28:53 — Childhood conditioning: “don’t get a big head”30:24 — Spare the rod, spoil the child—carried into adulthood31:14 — Is self-compassion a feeling or a motivation?33:14 — The neuroscience of compassion34:55 — Ego, self, and Buddhist misunderstandings35:30 — How to apply self-compassion during suffering36:58 — The power of physical touch37:28 — Touching the body where the emotion lives40:00 — How mammals regulate through contact41:00 — Dr. Neff’s self-compassion test43:22 — Anxiety epidemic in the U.S.44:10 — AI, uncertainty, and emotional overwhelm45:27 — The “inner ally” and asking yourself, “What do I need?”47:00 — Parenting Rowan: sensitivity, autism, and Mongolia50:14 — The Horse Boy story and healing in nature53:13 — Rowan today: independence, strengths, and challenges55:27 — What autistic children teach us about attunement57:21 — One of Rowan’s best lessons: “You’re not a terrible singer—you just sing terribly.”58:06 — Why 20 seconds of self-compassion a day is enough59:04 — Richard’s excitement to share the research60:00 — Where to find Dr. Neff + closing reflections This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ...
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    59 m
  • The Fastest Way to Stop Making Yourself Miserable

    The Fastest Way to Stop Making Yourself Miserable
    Nov 24 2025

    In this short episode, Dr. Richard Miller explains why comparison quietly damages your peace—and the simple mental shift he teaches to break the habit before it steals your joy



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.mindbodyhealthpolitics.org/subscribe
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    1 m
  • How to Create Meaning When Life Stops Making Sense

    How to Create Meaning When Life Stops Making Sense
    Nov 18 2025
    How to Create Meaning When Life Stops Making SenseA conversation on mood, purpose, community, and the pressures of modern life with Eric Maisel.Psychologist and author Eric Maisel joins Mind Body Health & Politics to explore one of the deepest struggles of modern life: how to create meaning in a world that feels increasingly overwhelming, isolating, and disconnected.Together, he and Dr. Richard Louis Miller discuss why so many people feel lost, how meaning is made rather than found, and why community—and creative connection—are essential for our emotional well-being.Eric shares insights from his decades of work with creative and performing artists, describing a new global initiative he’s helping build: the International Association of Creative and Performing Artists, a worldwide community designed to support creatives through loneliness, rivalry, depression, and the unique pressures of artistic life.Richard and Eric also talk about authoritarian family systems, the decline of the arts, the crisis of loneliness, existential wellness coaching, mood regulation, and why human beings must learn to “matter while we are here.”This conversation is a rich exploration of purpose, creativity, and the inner life we’ve forgotten to nurture.GuestEric Maisel — Psychologist, creativity coach, and author of more than 60 books including Redesign Your Mind, The Van Gogh Blues, Rethinking Depression, and The Power of Daily Practice.Key TopicsWhy meaning is a feeling—not something you “find”The modern crisis of loneliness and alienationWhy creative minds face unique psychological challengesRivalry, comparison, and depression in the artsThe International Association of Creative and Performing ArtistsHow community protects mental healthExistential wellness coaching and life purposeAuthoritarianism inside familiesThe role of moods and how we can influence themStoicism, existentialism, and internal agencyHow sleep thinking boosts creativityThe pressures on artists in the age of AIWhy “doing the next right thing” anchors purposeCreating personal meaning through valuesDesigning the “room of your mind” to change your thoughtsWhy many people feel they don’t matter—and how to reclaim inner worthTimestamps00:00 — Why human beings are tribal animals and need community01:10 — Introducing Eric Maisel: psychologist, author of 60+ books01:50 — Eric’s radar: a new global community for creative and performing artists03:37 — What the ideal worldwide organization would look like05:45 — Challenges creatives face: loneliness, rivalry, anxiety, depression06:40 — What artists truly need: hope, connection, meaning08:00 — Are the arts under attack?12:22 — Power outage pause — resuming the conversation13:00 — Do artists have unique sensitivities? The creative personality15:40 — Creative identity vs. the “almost-artist” (artist manqué)16:03 — Eric’s next radar theme: multiple life purposes vs. a single purpose17:20 — Meaning as a feeling, not a destination18:24 — Learning from past meaningful experiences20:00 — Creating value-based meaning; the Churchill example22:02 — Do we choose our moods? Richard and Eric debate24:00 — Richard’s story of surviving a life-threatening accident25:54 — The high bar of mood control — but it is possible26:18 — A second real-life example: childbirth without a C-section27:04 — Richard’s current AFib episode — choosing the mood anyway28:27 — Can most people handle modern life? The overwhelm of the mind29:50 — Stoicism and existentialism: ancient tools for modern crises31:27 — Why mainstream psychiatry avoids existential issues31:55 — Label culture and the limits of the DSM33:19 — Coaching creative clients: guilt, pressure, and overwhelm34:30 — Eric’s daily routine: writing at 5:30 a.m.35:14 — The importance of “sleep thinking” for creativity37:28 — Writing in chunks: completing one thousand-word piece38:41 — Afternoons, rest, cooking, and life rhythm39:46 — Richard proposes a new term: “accumulated intelligence”40:30 — Using AI to assist the writing process41:16 — Accumulated intelligence as humanity’s collective memory42:10 — How the new artist organization will include global suffering communities43:21 — Richard’s Ukrainian heritage and the role of war in creativity44:26 — Introducing Timothy Snyder and the book On Tyranny45:59 — Family authoritarianism and childhood wounds47:48 — Why the only solution is often to leave the authoritarian48:25 — Gender dynamics, dominance, and archaic biases49:07 — Leadership, archetypes, and political psychology49:20 — Break: Richard invites listeners to explore MBHP archives51:06 — Returning: Richard promotes Eric’s work51:33 — Redesigning the “room of your mind” — the core of Redesign Your Mind53:59 — Life purpose statements — doing the “next right thing”55:20 — Creating a personal life-purpose icon55:56 — Closing ...
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    51 m
  • Comparison Is a Form of Self-Harm We Don’t Recognize

    Comparison Is a Form of Self-Harm We Don’t Recognize
    Nov 14 2025

    In this short episode, Dr. Richard Miller explains why comparison quietly damages your peace—and the simple mental shift he teaches to break the habit before it steals your joy



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.mindbodyhealthpolitics.org/subscribe
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    1 m
  • The Future of Healing May Not Come from a Pill

    The Future of Healing May Not Come from a Pill
    Nov 11 2025

    Psychotherapist Gisele Fernandes-Osterhold joins Dr. Richard Louis Miller to discuss a groundbreaking psilocybin-assisted therapy study for young adults with anorexia nervosa at the University of California, San Francisco.

    Together, they explore how psychedelics can help restore connection between mind, body, and community—and how true healing extends beyond the individual to include family, culture, and environment.

    The study, led by UCSF’s Tripper Lab, is one of the first in the world to focus on the developing brain and the inclusion of families in psychedelic therapy. Gisele explains how this approach moves away from blame and control toward empowerment, self-awareness, and compassionate healing.

    She and Richard also discuss the cultural factors that shape body image, the impact of social media, the rising rates of eating disorders since the pandemic, and why anorexia remains one of the deadliest mental health conditions.

    “Recovery isn’t just gaining weight. It’s gaining yourself.” — Gisele Fernandes-Osterhold

    This conversation is a powerful reminder that healing is not isolation—it’s reconnection.

    Guest

    Gisele Fernandes-Osterhold — Director of Facilitation for Psychedelic Therapy at the University of California, San Francisco; faculty at the California Institute of Integral Studies; and researcher at the Tripper Lab, UCSF.

    Key Topics

    The UCSF psilocybin study for young adults (ages 18–25) with anorexia nervosa

    Why including family in therapy can support long-term healing

    How psilocybin-assisted therapy reduces cognitive rigidity and self-critical thought loops

    Understanding anorexia beyond weight—seeing it as a disorder of identity and control

    Trauma, intergenerational pain, and the importance of family systems

    The role of social media in shaping self-image and body dysmorphia

    How the pandemic amplified isolation and eating disorders among adolescents

    Shifting from authoritarian treatment models to trauma-informed care

    Why “non-directive” therapy helps patients rediscover their own motivation to heal

    A new paradigm of recovery centered on autonomy, compassion, and community

    Timestamps

    00:00 — The importance of community and connection02:00 — Introducing Gisele Fernandes-Osterhold and the UCSF Tripper Lab03:30 — Inside the psilocybin-assisted therapy study for anorexia nervosa06:00 — Understanding anorexia as a life-threatening mental health disorder08:30 — Why the study includes diverse participants and families11:00 — The impact of anorexia on families and caregivers15:00 — Family inclusion as a healing model18:00 — Psilocybin therapy protocol and study design23:00 — The psychology of “parts work” and the path to self-integration29:00 — How psilocybin reduces rigid, self-destructive thought loops32:00 — The influence of culture, media, and pandemic isolation35:00 — Understanding suffering and motivation in eating disorders40:00 — Extending psychedelic research toward obesity and body image45:00 — How to apply for the UCSF clinical trial47:00 — Redefining success: recovery as engagement with life50:00 — Trauma-informed, patient-centered therapy54:00 — Mary Oliver’s “The Summer Day” — a poetic close on life’s preciousness



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.mindbodyhealthpolitics.org/subscribe
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    51 m
  • Beyond Profit: The Human Cost of Capitalism — with David McNally

    Beyond Profit: The Human Cost of Capitalism — with David McNally
    Nov 4 2025

    Beyond Profit: The Human Cost of Capitalism — with Dr. David McNally

    Historian Dr. David McNally joins Dr. Richard Louis Miller to explore the deep relationship between capitalism, slavery, and community — and why the path forward may depend on reclaiming our capacity for cooperation and hope.

    Together, they trace how capitalism evolved from feudal systems, how slavery became its brutal engine, and how modern life still reflects those same dynamics of exploitation and insecurity. They discuss the moral cost of wealth built on oppression, the erosion of academic freedom, and the possibilities for new forms of collective ownership and economic justice.

    Through it all, McNally reminds us that hope is more powerful than anger and fear, and that history shows our greatest progress comes when people act together in community.

    Guest:

    Dr. David McNally — Cullen Distinguished Professor of History and Business at the University of Houston, and author of Slavery and Capitalism, Blood and Money, and Monsters of the Market.

    Key Topics:

    How capitalism emerged from feudalism through the expulsion of peasants from common lands

    Why slavery was not a premodern system but central to modern global capitalism

    The immense wealth generated by enslaved labor

    The psychological and moral consequences of exploitation

    Living paycheck to paycheck as a modern form of economic bondage

    How fear and insecurity maintain systems of control

    The importance of academic freedom and independent thought

    Collective action as the most powerful form of resistance

    Reviving the commons and exploring alternatives to capitalism

    Why hope remains the foundation of social transformation

    Timestamps:

    00:00 — The Importance of Community and Connection02:22 — Understanding Capitalism and Its Historical Context07:20 — The Shift from Feudalism to Capitalism13:00 — Slavery in the Context of Capitalism20:11 — The Moral Dilemma of Enslavement24:07 — The Wealth Generated by Slavery24:47 — Exploring Alternatives to Capitalism29:00 — The Monopoly Game of Capitalism30:53 — The Power of Collective Action34:56 — Living Paycheck to Paycheck: A Modern Form of Slavery40:45 — The Assault on Academic Freedom50:19 — Freedom Dreams and Cultural Resistance



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.mindbodyhealthpolitics.org/subscribe
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    55 m