(Recorded on September 22, 2024) **Promo for The Delicious Recap podcast included in this episode** Up this week we are digging into episode eleven of Firefly, “Trash.” That’s right folks, we are in the home stretch! Mal is doing business with his old war pal, Monty (sans soup catcher, gag) when he’s introduced to Monty’s wife Bridget. But listeners, Monty’s wife Bridget, is actually Mal’s wife—that’s right Saffron is back (loud boos and cheers). Mal and Saffron scuffle while Monty stands by confused but not at all bothered by Mal beating up his wife. Eventually Monty realizes that Bridget is not who she says she is and kicks her off his ship, unfortunately sticking her with Mal. Saffron teases Mal with a ‘million square job’ while he tries to get away from her. On Serenity, Inara tells Mal she’s in dire need of work and if he could stop doing these tiny jobs that make them no money, that would be great. Mal digs Saffron out of a bin in the cargo bay (what was she doing all that time!?) and asks her about this job. We get a bit of the same stuff as in ‘Ariel’ (but not as good) with Saffron explaining the job—stealing an antique laser pistol from rich a-hole Durran Haymer—while showing how it could work. Everyone is like, “what’s she doing here?” but in the end they all need money and agree to work with her. While in the middle of stealing the pistol, Durran walks in, shocked that he’s being robbed, but even MORE shocked that his wife Yolanda has returned. That’s right, Saffron is Yolanda! Keep up everyone! She turns on Mal, but then Durran comes back and she turns on him and is back to being partners with Mal long enough to try and screw him over. BUT the Serenity crew is playing some 4-D chess and Saffron/Bridget/Yolanda ends up stuck in a dumpster, where she belongs. Also, Simon finally realizes that Jayne tried to sell him and sister out—about f’ing time!

Plus, George gives us another white guy on his mom’s list of approved white guys; Meaghan wonders which episode made execs at Fox go, ‘ENOUGH!”; and we wonder if Christina Hendricks still has her syfy genre award from 2006. (Original network air date July 21, 2003)

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(Recorded on September 15, 2024) Up this week we’re discussing episode ten, “War Stories,” of the cult class Firefly. Shepherd is back (yay!) from is monastic vacation and he seems refreshed. Simon is still trying to cure his sister’s…broken amygdala? Not sure if that’s something that can be fixed, but you do you. Jayne’s maybe feeling a little guilty for almost getting everyone killed and bought the crew (checks notes) a crate of apples. Inara tries to keep everyone from gawking at her client, “the councillor, although she might have better luck if her client wasn’t a woman! There’s a lot shocked faces and Jayne keeps talking about how he’ll be in his bunk (please make it stop). And you can all rest assured that this storyline is written with grace and not at all in a way for the 13 year old boys watching in 2002 (that’s sarcasm, in case you were wondering). While all of this is going on, Wash and Zoe are fighting because Wash is insecure and Zoe shares too many stories about her and Mal. Wash forces his way into a business excursion with Mal and immediately regrets it once they're kidnapped by Niska’s men. Yes, Adelai Niska is back and he has a torture chamber—very 50 Shades of him. Unfortunately Niska’s fun is ruined by Mal and Wash arguing about who Zoe loves more—way to kill the vibe guys. Zoe realizes something is wrong and puts two and two together to realize that both of her husbands have been taken. She rounds up some money from the rest of the crew to buy them back, but Niska only lets her choose one. Zoe chooses Wash, knowing that he is not a man built for days of torture. Do they go back to rescue Mal? Well there’s 4 more episodes and a movie so it’s an obvious yes, but they all mount up like Regulators to do it, so that’s fun!

Plus, George tells us about his bowling tournament; Meaghan talks about her favorite Catfish episode; and if you’ve ever wondered what happened to Shan Yu from Mulan, boy are you in for a treat this week! (Original network air date December 6, 2002)

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(Recorded on September 7, 2024) No Season Two is back from our mid-season break and we’re talking about episode nine of Firefly, “Ariel.” The Serenity crew is heading to the allied world Ariel, so Inara can get her government mandated physical exam to renew her companion license (the future sounds awful! but also familiar, womp womp). Before they can touch down on Ariel, River slashes Jayne across the chest with a butcher’s knife (you go girl!) and Jayne does not take it well! Mal realizes River is getting worse and has her confined to her quarters. The next day while the gang is playing a game of horseshoe and bemoaning their lack of money-making endeavors, Simon waltzes in with a proposition for them: get him into the hospital in Ariel City so he can find out what’s wrong with his sister (diagnosis: A LOT) and they will have access to all the pharmaceuticals they want to resell on the black market. Ladies and germs, we have a heist! And not the sad heist that was in “The Train Job.” This a bonafide heist with an Ocean’s 11 montage. Things go perfectly at first—Simon finds out that the alliance turned River’s amygdala into mush, and Zoe and Mal are able to snag all the drugs. Unfortunately for everyone, Jayne is a part of their crew and he called the feds to turn in Simon and River for some reward money. Of course Jayne didn’t think (big obviously here) that this plan would backfire, but it does spectacularly. The blue glove guys show up turning people's brains into pools of blood, but before they can get to Simon and River, Mal and Zoe come to the rescue. Back on the ship Mal pulls a “you did it to me!” with Jayne while threatening to have him sucked out into space. But does he do it? No. But it’s fun to watch Jayne think he’s a goner.

Also, George shares one his favorite summer past times; Meaghan won’t shut up about the tv show OZ (trust us, it will make sense); and we both try to figure out what is going on with the hospitals in the 26th century (Seinfeld voice). (Original network air date November 15, 2002)

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(Recorded on August 4, 2024) Up this week is episode seven of Firefly, “Jaynestown.” The crew are headed to Canton, a town who survives on the export of mud and slave labor. Who do they think they are, Shein? Jayne disguised as the REI Lawerence of Arabia, doesn’t want to go because he previously robbed the town’s magistrate—a man named Higgins, whose sole focus in this episode is getting his 26 year old son, Fess, laid (weird!). While Mal, Wash, Jayne, Kaylee, and Simon journey to town, Zoe and Shepherd stay on the ship with River. After meeting the foreman of the mud plantation, the crew stumbles on a statue of Jayne, made out of what else, mud. Simon seems most dumbfounded, making some of campiest shocked faces we’ve seen in the serious so far. They visit a local tavern and while imbibing in mudders milk (I hope it’s pasteurized) they’re treated to a musical performance by a local. The song, Hero of Canton is about Jayne—describing how he robbed from Higgins and then rained the money down on the towns people. Obviously that is only half true, as Jayne only dumped the money so his ship wouldn’t crash (and that’s not the only thing he dumped!). The mudders discover Jayne is back and boy are they happy to see him. Higgins, while waiting for his son to lose his cherry (his words, not mine) to Inara finds out that Jayne is back in Canton. Higgins, unlocks Encino Man from a wooden box and is like, “go on, git! you know what you need to do!” Ladies and germs, that man is Stitch Hessian, Jayne’s former partner who he also dumped from his ship. Obviously he as an axe to grind! There’s a pretty good fight scene (I’ll give them that) and then Jayne holds a republican press conference telling everyone to stop waiting for a handout and get a job! They have a job, they just don't get paid, Jayne!! While all of this is going on, Kaylee is trying to flirt with Simon (awkwardly). And River is being kind of racist??

Also, George implores Meaghan to watch the movie Heat; Meaghan is offended that George questioned her boyband knowledge; and they both encourage everyone to listen to Give It To You. (Original network air date October 18, 2002)

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(Recorded on July 21st, 2024) This week we are talking about episode six of Firefly, “Our Mrs. Reynolds.” While at a party, thrown in their honor for ridding the town of ruthless bandits, Mal gets drunk and spends his time flirting and dancing with a local woman. The next day, after they’ve left the town that JD Vance grew up in, Mal discovers a woman in the cargo bay of Serenity, who claims to be his new wife Saffron. Shepherd informs Mal that unfortunately he’s an idiot and everything he did with Saffron last night, was a marriage ceremony in her culture. And while it’s never good to trick someone into marriage, it’s definitely always good to google a place before you visit it. Saffron, upset that Mal isn’t thrilled about being a newlywed, runs off to cry in a hallway. Mal tries to be nice while telling her he’d make a terrible husband and that sort of honesty apparently works for Saffron, because she goes to make him a meal. Shepherd tells Mal there’s a special place in hell for him (not the same place for women who don’t support other women) if he takes advantage of her. Are we forgetting that this marriage was not consensual? Now this is where the episode takes a turn for the tradwife algorithm on TikTok. Saffron wants to please her husband with her cooking, washing his feet (barf), listening to his boring stories about childhood, telling him she prayed for someone like him, and of course wedding night you-know-what. Going so far as to quote from a bible (not sure if it’s THE bible) about how he should furrow with the plow—IT’S A LOT. Of course Mal, a man, can’t resist and kisses her. He probably would have furrowed his plow if the kiss hadn’t drugged him causing him to pass out. Saffron is a villain - and this feels like some kind of allegory on Whedon’s part that women can’t be trusted, but I DIGRESS. She tries the same on Wash, but ends up having to kick him in the head. Her whole plan was to just reroute the ship to some guys who would strip it for parts—which for the thrill, I guess. Before she abandons ship, she runs into Inara and tries to seduce her (which George loved OBVIOUSLY), but Inara is smarter than both Mal and Wash so it doesn’t work. Unfortunately Inara doesn’t seem great at hand-to-hand combat so Saffron gets away…or does she?

All you really need to know is that George thrived watching the episode and Meaghan barely survived. (Original network air date October 4, 2002)

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(Recorded on July 14, 2024) Up this week is “Safe,” the fifth episode of Firefly. If you were wondering what the Serenity crew was going to do with that cattle from last week, this is the episode for you. If you love Zac Efron, this episode for you. And if you were wondering what Shepherd looks like without his shirt on, this episode is definitely for you. We kick off the episode with some Simon and River backstory and get more throughout. This is all to set up how far Simon would go to protect his sister (a little heavy handed, but we did ask for more backstory, so that’s on us). Moving on! Serenity has landed on a backwoods planet to unload the cattle; unfortunately they didn’t check their source box for any travel advisories in Jiangyin. While half the crew stay back to offload the cattle, Kaylee, Inara, Simon, and River head into town. At a shop Simon, proceeds to unintentionally insult everything Kaylee likes which obviously upsets her! Inara and Kaylee leave and River wanders off and finds herself a local LARPing community. Back at the OK Corral, the cattle sale goes awry when the local police show up to arrest the buyers. In the melee, Shepherd gets shot (by who, it’s not clear). River’s spidey senses are tingling, but before her and Simon can leave Shakespeare in the Park, they’re kidnapped—by the people that the travel advisory was warning about! The rest of the crew can’t wait around to look for them and take off to find Shepherd help. Unfortunately, Simon and River see Serenity leave them, ouch. The Serenity crew seek help at an Alliance station, but before they can be turned away Shepherd pulls out his Obamacare card and they rush him to treatment. Simon is just settling into his role as Doc Hollywood (is this thing on?) when his sister is accused of being a witch! Before the town can get out their s’mores kits, Mal and the rest of the crew come to rescue them. If only Joan of Arc had been so lucky.

George comes to the realization that if he gives up on a coherent story line he enjoys the show; Meaghan doesn’t understand why we’re making up new words to describe things that already existed; and we say goodbye to our girl, Shannen Dorehty. (Original network air date November 8, 2002)

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(Recorded on June 30th, 2024) We’re back this week with episode four of Firefly, “Shindig.” We learn some new things this week, like: the 26th century has slave traders, men throw around the word ‘whore’ just as liberally in the 26th century as they do in the 21st, and Badger’s back (resounding BOOOOO). We’re in Persephone again—Serenity needs to refuel and Mal needs to find his next job (on the level or off) and Inara has been engaged to accompany Atherton Wing while in town. This ruffles Mal’s feathers (because it’s OBVIOUS he likes her) so he spends the majority of the episode being a real a-hole. Unfortunately Atherton is also an a-hole, just with more money. If we were hoping men were better in space, we’d be wrong. Mal has to attend a ball (the same ball that Inara is at with Atherton) to track down Sir Warick Harrow, someone who wisely won’t do business directly with Badger. He brings Kaylee, someone he insulted earlier, with him. At the ball Mal asks Atherton’s permission to dance with Inara and what is he going to do, say no? Inara tells Mal that Atherton wants her to become his personal companion (insert Ghost ‘you in danger girl’ gif). Atherton breaks up their dance telling Mal she’s bought and paid for (gross) and Mal punches him. And apparently in the future that means you’ve challenged someone to a duel. Later that evening Inara graciously tries to help Mal learn how to sword fight but all he does insult her. The next morning we’re in the English countryside section of Persephone where Mal and Atherton briefly fight before Inara distracts Atherton enough for Mal to get the upper hand. Mal lets him live and in the process impresses Sir Warick enough to give Mal his business. Inara and Mal share some Boone’s Farm on Serenity later that evening, ostensibly making up. You maybe asking yourself what about everyone else on Serenity and to that we say, they weren’t interesting enough to include in this episode synopsis.

Also, Meaghan is confused about what century we are in; George compares and contrasts the dancing in Firefly with the dancing in Bridgerton; and we seriously consider starting a Hitch podcast. (Original network air date November 1, 2002)

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