Episodios

  • Not by Accident: Changing a Losing Culture -Episode24

    Not by Accident: Changing a Losing Culture -Episode24
    Jun 8 2025
    People like to win and to be associated with winning teams or efforts. But the truth of life is that we will often fall short individually and as part of a team. What happens when that team can't seem to come out on top? What happens when one loss becomes two, then ten then fifty?

    This is not uncommone either for the girls under 10 youth soccer team I coached or for the Detroit Lions of the NFL. The point is, it can (and as I suggest, will) happen to many of us. One important think to keep in mind is that there is a HUGE difference between losing and being a loser. Our wins or losses don't need to become a reflection on us. They definitley do not need to define us. There are great things to be learned in the losses we encounter in life. Loss is actually what makes us stronger, smarter and more committed to winning. When trapped in a cycle of loss sometimes it takes a coach who sees in us what we may have forgotten. Sometimes an individual player or participant can spark a change that impacts the entire organization. YOU can be that spark.

    Episode story taken from Joan W. Young's BYU Devotional speech, "Seeing as Far as Forever", June 24, 2003.
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    11 m
  • Not by Accident: The Dark Side of Education -Episode23

    Not by Accident: The Dark Side of Education -Episode23
    Apr 3 2025
    Education is one of the top 5 factors that not only transforms an individual's life (including their spouse, children and generations to come) but also to improve the world and mankind's condition. As access to learning (education being the formal system to facilitate learning... at least that is the objective) swept across society like a wave with the invention of the printing press and other monumental changes that took place in the time period we generally know as "the enlightenment", life on earth began to change. For the previous five or ten thousand years life was lived within 20 miles of your birtthplace; locomotion remained walking, running or domesticated animals and simple carts; technology was generally static; daily life consisted of subsistence, illness and death (of infants, children and what are now minor diseases). Education changed all this. I encourage education. I run a college. I have no hesitation championing the virtues of education. Even with all this, education has a dark side. This is largely because human nature has a dark side. Education is little more than a gun, knife or car. All are tremendously valuable but can be wielded to great harm, opppression and brutality. Too often educated people think they are better than the less educated. They presume to have some moral superiority over those without letters (MD, Ph.D., MA, BS, Esq.) behind their names. Thy trade education for arrogance among many other things. This episode explores this tragic and dangerous propensity. Education and learning should always lead to humility and compassion, especially for people of character..But like so many things, this does not happen by accident.
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    11 m
  • Not by Accident: Leadership -Episode22

    Not by Accident: Leadership -Episode22
    Mar 1 2025
    What is leadership and being a leader? While it involves many things -knowledge, judgement, persistence, discipline, motivating others, humiliy- it is fundamentally about serving those you lead and being willing to do the hard work alongside the lowliest follower. In fact, as a side note, one of the best ways to prepare to be a great leader is to be a great follower. In so many aspects of life, experiencing the opposite informs and qualfies us. Those who endure sadness and disappointment really comprehend joy and achievement. Those who are once lonely become the best and most loyal friends. The most successful usually expereicned great failure. The best bosses are those who were at one time a regular employee and worked their way to the top from position to position. So it is that great leaders spent much time perfecting themselves as a follower -learning the good and the bad from those who led them.

    Leadership is not in a title like manager, captain, vice-president, boss, oldest child; leadership is in behavior. You don't need a title to lead, in fact you don't need your peer group or society to recognize you as a leader. You just need to get your hands dirty doing the hard work, mix that with active concern for others (meaning actually setting your wants and comforts second to the needs of others) and you are well on your way to being a leader. It may not happen right away and you may not have a title commonly associated with leaders, but true leaders don't need, in fact they don't care about a title. They care about others. This episode provides a couple examples of famous leaders and their behavior.
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    10 m
  • Not by Accident: Holidays and Holy Days -Episode21

    Not by Accident: Holidays and Holy Days -Episode21
    Feb 22 2025
    Valentines day, Veteran's day, the 4th of July, Presidents day and Martlin Luther King, Jr. day are all holidays where we celebrate the sacrifice and character of a person or a group of people whose lives illustrations of the things (virtues and actions) we honor in our society. Unfortunately most of these days have devolved into recreation and leisure. We don't really comprehend the courage and scarifices of those at the core of the holiday. The word "holiday" itself has transformed -and not in a good way- from its original meaning. Fortunately it has not alltogether lost its meaning. We can still hear the original: holy day. Holidays are supposed to be holy days where we recognize that which is sacred, of infinite value and the highest level of "special". These days, the people after whom they are named, should not just be honored. We would have fallen way short of the reason for holy days if all we do is remember... we should be emulating, replicating and tying to be like them. That is, making a study of their character, of their sacrifices and of their objectives. We minimize and mock their amazing lives when Independence day is only about hotdogs, baseball and the beach or when Valentine's day becomes flowers, jewlery and sexual expressions. Declarations of love and long weekend camp trips are clearly not bad things, I enjoy both, but if that is all holy days have become, it is not a great sign for our society. What we do and give, important as it is, does not even compare to the critical question of who we have become: a person, a family, a community and a nation of courage, virture and character.
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    5 m
  • Not by Accident: Sports Winning and Losing -Episode 20

    Not by Accident: Sports Winning and Losing -Episode 20
    Feb 15 2025
    Sports and competition are universal across time, cultures and generations. Since human's existed they have been playing (and creating) athletic competitions. Sports teach us amazing lessons in a dynamic manner. We learn as we do and sometimes we have to learn very quickly. Discipline, teamwork, cooperation, persistence, humility, the necessity of physical, mental and intellectual prowess, overcoming adversity, short-term pain for long-term reward... all these are critical lessons of life that are directly taught by participation in sports.
    Many people mistakenly judge success in sports by the final outcome of the game or event. In other words if we won. This is a shortsighted, naive and dangerous way of measuring success. Sports is so much more than winning. The competition itself, if engaged with honor and full effort, is enobling and will benefit the participants regardless if they come out with a better score than their opponent.
    THis episode includes a story shared by Michael Josephson (founder of Character Counts) of an Olympian who understood the higher purpose of competition and a portion of a talk given by Tom Brady, famed quarterback of the New Enland Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Both provide a larger view and purpose of sports, winning and the essential element of losing.
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    8 m
  • Not by Accident: Procrastination and Negative Character -Episode19

    Not by Accident: Procrastination and Negative Character -Episode19
    Jan 30 2025
    There are several -many more than we can count actually- character flaws that are common to any "normal" human. We are judgemental creatures who like to talk about the foibles and shortcomings of others. We would rather take an easy route than the higher and more difficult path. It is much easier and enjoyable to watch a movie or scroll mindlessly through social media posts than to engage in something productive like learning a musical instrument, writing a book or spending out time helping our neighbor fix their car. Ranking high on this list of negative attributes and threatening every one of us is the practice of procrastination. We put hard stuff off even if we know the day of reckoning will always eventually arrive. Those who are able to overcome this tendency accompish more, bless the world with their contribution, feel better about themselves, are often rewarded and find their life situations better than those who never seem to get around to "it" or because of their delay produce something that is shotty and much less than they are capable.
    The thing is, fixing procrastination is not rocket science. It is simply having the discipline to do some of the hard work first, now. The beauty is how this builds self-respect, confidence and very frequently is met with praise and reward,
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    10 m
  • Not by Accident: Is it Worth the Price -Episode 18

    Not by Accident: Is it Worth the Price -Episode 18
    Jan 22 2025
    Everything we do or want has a price. This is easy to see with products or physical items like a car, a purse or a trip to Hawaii. The price for these is some amount of money. But this truth extends beyond physical items to include things like a talent or non-tangible accomplishment. To be an Olympian, a rock star or a mom with ten children (don't laugh, this was my mother's dream since she was a girl... and yes, she realized this goal) -all these come with a cost. There is a price to pay for things we consider negative: if we spend hours on end doing nothing but wathching social media, smoking marijuana or just wasting time with friends for hours on end... while these may be fun and may not infringe on anyone's freedoms, they also come with a price. Countless adults who thought their college drinking habits only cost the money to buy the alcohol will tell you how much their drinking cost them in terms of jobs, marriages, and lost opportunities. Their are sometimes steep prices to pay for the activities we decide to pursue. The trick is a little forsight, some short-term sacrifices for long-term benefits, some conception of what is morally good and a healthy does of honest introspection.... all critical components of character. The story of John D. Rockefeller, the richest man in the world, is both a warning that the price we pay for what we want may be too high as well as a reminder that it is never too late to change and make a difference in the world. In both cases, the tragic and the redemptive, there are prices to pay. The question is: which result is worth our efforts and the price?
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    18 m
  • Not by Accident: Praising the Meal Maker -Episode 17

    Not by Accident: Praising the Meal Maker -Episode 17
    Jan 15 2025
    To take things for granted is human nature (especially from those we know the most). To begin to expect things from others (becoming entitled) is likewise in our nature. And both of those are ugly qualities that will harm and eventually kill relationships. When is the last time you not only expressed gratitude for the person who makes your meals but heaped praise and compliments on them? Mothers (sometimes fathers) will make you thousands of meals in your lifetime, will wash tons of clothes, drive you thousands of milles to places you want to go. What is in it for them? Usually a lot of complaints and attitude.... until they decide they don't want to do it any more and our lack of appreciation drives a wedge of resentment in the relationship. But what if it was the opposite? What if we returned every meal with genuine praise and, imagine this, some reciprocal gesture of care and affection (like cleaning up the kitchen or washing our own dishes without being asked)? At minimum the meal maker would find motivation if not joy and pleasure in continuing to provide their service for an appreciative audience.
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    9 m