ON BOYS Podcast Por arte de portada

ON BOYS Podcast

De: Janet Allison Jennifer LW Fink
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  • Real Talk about Parenting, Teaching, and Reaching Tomorrow’s Men
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Episodios
  • Women are America’s Safety Net & That’s a Problem for Boys

    Women are America’s Safety Net & That’s a Problem for Boys
    Jun 27 2024
    Women are America’s safety net. Women provide the vast majority of child and elder care and care for the disabled. Women do the bulk of home- and community-tending, and they create and reinforce the ties that bind us together. Most of that labor is unpaid — and the little that is paid is typically poorly compensated.This imbalance is clearly problematic for women, who are often exhausted and overworked. But it’s also a problem for boys, men, girls, and, well, everyone. If we don’t talk about this imbalance, our sons will grow up in a system that still devalues care work. They’ll see women, predominantly, as caregivers, and may conclude – incorrectly – that they’re not capable of childcare or elder care. Others may also assume that our boys and men aren’t capable of care.How Our DIY Society Tricked Us AllOther countries use social safety nets to manage risk, says sociologist Jessica Calarco, author of Holding It Together: How Women Became America’s Safety Net. In contrast, the US “tries to DIY society,” Calarco says, essentially telling people “that if they just make the right choices for their kids and families, then they won’t actually need any support.”That’s a lie, though. We all need help and support at various time throughout life. But “women’s unpaid and underpaid labor is maintaining this illusion that we can get by without a social safety net” in the United States, she says.Busting Gender StereotypesFrom the time girls are old enough to hold a baby doll, we’re training them to be mothers. We don’t do the same for boys, at least not on a society-wide scale.“Boys are often denied the opportunity to learn to be caregivers,” Calarco notes.Despite the ubiquity of the Mars/Venus myth, which suggests that females are better suited to caregiving than males, there’s no solid scientific evidence to back up that assertion. “If anything, much of what we perceive as these innate gender differences roots back to early socialization,” Calarco says. “Even as young as infancy, adults treat babies differently if they perceive it to be a girl versus if they perceive it to be a boy.”Research shows that the more caregiving experience an individual has, the more that person’s body will respond physiologically — by pumping out hormones like oxytocin — to caregiving activities. “This happens for both men and women,” Calarco says. “The more experience you have in caregiving capacities, the better at it you get.”But while parents (and society at large) are now widely supportive of girls who bend traditional gender boundaries, they are much less comfortable with boys who bend and challenge gender stereotypes. Many parents (and grandparents) still aren’t comfortable giving boys dolls or letting them play house.“This is a place where we can intervene,” Calarco says. “We can hold up examples of kids and adults pushing back against these boundaries and binaries. We can let them know ‘there’s many, many different ways to be a girl and many different ways to be a boy.’ And I think the more that we can encourage that kind of gender flexibility for both our boys and our girls, the better off they will be.” Takeaways:Women are the safety net of America, providing unpaid and underpaid labor that holds everything togetherSystemic issues affect boys and familiesDevaluation of care work impacts societal perceptions of caregiving rolesHow neoliberalism and the myth of individualistic success have led to the exploitation of women’s laborThe Mars/Venus myth perpetuates gender stereotypes and societal attitudes that devalue caregiving and reinforce gender hierarchiesFundamental shifts in societal attitudes and policies are necessary to address systemic issues and create a more equitable societyChange begins at home, with the need to challenge gender roles and encourage caregiving experiences for both boys and girlsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Holding It Together: How Women Became America’s Safety Net — Jessica’s bookKate Mangino on Teaching Boys to Be Equal Partners — ON BOYS podcastNursing, Boys, & Gender Stereotypes — 4-15-24 Building Boys BulletinSponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order!Sponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYSAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    43 m
  • Navigating Parenthood Beyond Stereotypes with Jaimie Kelton

    Navigating Parenthood Beyond Stereotypes with Jaimie Kelton
    Jun 20 2024

    Like most moms, Jaimie Kelton has “so many thoughts & fears on raising a boy.”

    “I question myself constantly,” says Jamie, host of The Queer Family podcast and mom to two children, a 10-year-old daughter & a 6-year-old son. She knows that gender is a social construct — and also knows that gender stereotypes are extremely powerful and prevalent. When she was pregnant with her son, Jamie says, she worried that she wouldn’t be able to connect with him.

    In this episode, Jaimie shares her journey and thoughts on raising a boy within a society that holds strong gender stereotypes, while also highlighting the unique challenges and joys faced by queer families.

    Key Topics:

    • Parenting Fears & Self-Doubt: Jaimie opens up about the common fears and constant self-questioning she experiences as a mom. Despite her awareness that gender is a social construct, she acknowledges the pervasive influence of gender stereotypes in society.
    • Facing Stereotypes: While Jaimie and her wife offer their son a variety of toys and activities, he gravitates towards traditionally “boy” interests such as cars, trucks, planes, and the color blue.
    • Support & Acceptance: Jaimie discusses the importance of supporting children in becoming their true selves. She emphasizes the need to parent the child you have, not the one you envisioned.
    • Intentional Parenting: As part of a queer family, Jaimie highlights the intentionality required in their parenting journey. From conception to daily life, every step is deliberate and meaningful.
    • Challenging Norms: Facing societal prejudice, including attempts to ban books featuring families like hers, queer families must continually think outside the box. Often, they discover joy in creating a unique lives that defy conventional paths.
    • Encouragement for Other Parents: Jaimie underscores the idea that joy and fulfillment can be found by embracing one’s unique family structure and parenting style.

    Memorable Quotes:

    • “We want our kids to feel free to be who they are.”
    • “We’re really good at thinking outside the box because we don’t fit the normal path.”
    • “These are the most intentional parents. There’s no accidents in how we make a family.”

    Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

    The Queer Family podcast — Jaime’s podcast

    Supporting LGBTQ+ Kids — ON BOYS episode

    Understanding Gender with Dr. Alex Iantaffi — ON BOYS episode

    Sponsor Spotlight: Armoire

    Clothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS


    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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    43 m
  • Emily Edlynn on a Healthier Approach to Tech

    Emily Edlynn on a Healthier Approach to Tech
    Jun 13 2024
    Child psychologist Emily Edlynn says a healthier approach to tech is good for the whole family. As she wrote in her Substack newsletter, the currently popular shame-blame-restrict approach to social media, screens, and gaming isn’t working particularly well. Emily sas:Parents’ hyper-focus on screen time, gaming, or phones can have more negative effects than the technologies on their own. Parents can become so fixated on maintaining the limits that the fixation itself causes a child’s or teen’s frustration and subsequent distancing from their parents.Social Media, Video Games, & Phones Aren’t the Cause of Mental Health ProblemsContrary to popular belief, smartphone and screens are not solely responsible for the current mental health crisis.“I’m always skeptical is there’s a straight line drawn from any one thing to mental health,” Emily says. “That’s not how mental health works. It’s very complex, nuanced, layered, and full of contributing factors.” In fact, tech overuse can be a symptom, not a cause of mental health problems.“It’s really important not to blame the tech but to get under it & explore what’s going on,” Emily says.So, parents: take a breath. Giving your child a smartphone does not doom them to anxiety or depression. It is much healthier to step away from the fear and approach technology as a tool.“When parents take more of a mentorship approach to online activity and social media, the kids do better with it,” Emily says.Fighting About Tech Isn’t Helpful. Here’s a Healthier Approach to Tech.Parents and children often have vastly different views of (& goals for) technology. These differing views often come into conflict. And in many cases, that escalates into a problem.“The conflict around technology can cause more harm than the technology itself,” Emily explains. Kids may feel misunderstood, alienated, and not trusted. And parental guilt and stress around technology is harming both parents & kids.Although it may not seem like it during the tween & teenage years, our kids want to be connected with us. When they don’t feel connected to us due to high and constant conflict, they suffer (often, in ways we can’t see).Focus on the connection with your child instead of focusing on the tech.Photo by Photo by KoolShooters via PexelsTakeaways:Parents should focus on balance and individualized approaches to technology use rather than blaming technology for mental health issues.Open dialogue and empathy are key in discussing technology use with children and teenagers.Technology can be addictive, and it is important to develop critical thinking skills and awareness of its impact.The goal is to raise children who have a good internal sense of balance and can make healthy choices in the digital world.Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, by Emily Edlynnwww.emilyedlynnphd.com — Emily’s websiteThe Art & Science of Mom — Emily’s Substack (Be sure to check out Fortnite Creep)Fortnite is Not a Waste of Time — Building Boys postAutonomy-Supportive Parenting — ON BOYS episode featuring EmilyHow Our Feelings About Technology Affect Our Kids — newsletter by Melinda Wenner-Moyer (mentioned by Emily)Melinda Wenner Moyer: Raising Boys Who Aren’t Assholes — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYSAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    44 m
Audiolibros Infantiles Hygiene & Healthy Living
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