There’s an ever-so-slight mix-up this week over whether a prestige BBC drama about tennis coaches should be masquerading as a Spanish language show about pirate ambulances, but that particular wrinkle thankfully gets ironed out in time for us to tackle Apples Never Fall on BBC1, in which Sam Neill may or may not have murdered Annette Bening. Plus David Mitchell and David Mitchell star as a pair of twins in Ludwig, also on the Beeb, and Sophie Turner takes a turn as godmother of crime Joan Hannington in Joan on ITV1. Also, now that the embargo has lifted, Boyd and Kay are able to review A Very Royal Scandal and James once again gets into the reasons why he wasn’t bewitched by Agatha All Along.

Ruth Wilson is our guest on the show this week, talking about A Very Royal Scandal, which comes to Prime Video this week but is also heavily embargoed so we can’t tell you about it on this week’s show. Luckily, she can! Plus, we’re all up in The Penguin’s business this week as that spinoff from Matt Reeves’ The Batman lands on Sky Atlantic and Now. Agatha All Along… is also embargoed, so we’ll be tackling that on this week’s Pilot+, but that does mean we have the bandwidth to return to Channel 5 for The Wives and, to properly send James off the deep end, we give the Frasier reboot another chance over on Paramount+. It doesn’t go well. All that and we also find the time for an emergency Emmys drop-in, discussing this year's winners.

It’s a special quarantine version of the pod this week as James, still struck down with Covid, feebly attempts to host the podcast while Boyd and Kay stay as far away from his lurgy as humanly possible. But despite a minor case of plague and an absolute dearth of telly this week, the team manage to hit the tracks for real-time train-based thriller Nightsleeper on BBC1, shagtastic educator drama The Teachers on Channel 5, and a trés Français fashion drama La Maison on Apple TV+. All that and you also get to hear how Kay’s boozy leaving drinks went and why Boyd now wears a t-shirt with her face on.

James returns from his Taycation this week, but don’t fret because to make up for that we have Gary Oldman on the show this week discussing the joy of Jackson Lamb in Slow Horses, and Eve Hewson chatting The Perfect Couple on Netflix. And speaking of Slow Horses, the arrival of Season 4 on Apple TV+ is cause for much celebration and is one of three triumphant returns this week, alongside Colin From Accounts, which finally makes its way to BBC2, and ITV’s The Tower.

James is still absent while he devotes every waking hour to recovering from the Taylor Swift concert, so Boyd and Kay are joined by all-round legend Sophie Butcher, who recently compared Dating Naked UK and Love Island to Claire Denis’ masterpiece Beau Travail. Up for review this week are season 4 of Only Murders In The Building on Disney+ (we will not be doing a spoiler special for this season, though, due to public demand), plus French series Sambre: Anatomy Of A Crime on BBC4, and the new fourth series of ITV1 crime drama Grace, starring John Simm. And yes, Grace episodes are 90 minutes long. Apologies all round. As for the guests we have the lovely comedians Rob Beckett and Romesh Ranganathan discussing their Rob & Romesh Vs series on Sky Max and NOW. Just to underline that James is away this week…

We made it! 300 episodes (not counting the many episodes of Pilot+ or the spoiler specials) feels like quite the milestone, even if we weren’t able to do a live show because James has tickets to see Taylor Swift. He did manage to drag himself away from Eras Tour prep (those friendship bracelets don’t make themselves) to drop in and join Boyd and Kay for the 300th show, though, despite being on holiday. Could it be because Boyd and Kay both refused to watch yet another Walking Dead show? No comment. We do, however, get a run down of Dead City on Sky, as well as round two of Pachinko on Apple TV+, We Might Regret This on BBC2, and the return of Sherwood on BBC1, and on the subject of Sherwood, the creator and writer of the show, James Graham, is this week’s guest. Plus we have a few of you on as Well, leaving us testimonials to mark our threehundredieth birthday. Hooray!

We can’t review Paramount+’s Stags this week as it’s embargoed, but that didnt’ stop star Nico Mirallegro dropping by the pod to talk about the stag do from hell. Elsewhere, we can’t lie, this week is somewhat anarchic. Kay and James are sleep deprived to the point of delirium and even a well-rested and thoroughly perky Boyd can’t stop the good ship Pilot from taking on water and coming perilously close to capsizing completely. Still, between bickering about the olympics, exploring the etymology of Strictly Come Dancing and some minor controversy about how to pronounce a rather important name, we still manage (somehow) to review Vince Vaughn’s crime adventure Bad Monkey on Apple, Aimee Lou Wood and David Morrissey’s dysfunctional family drama Daddy issues on BBC3, and Sam Neill’s Aussie legal drama The Twelve on ITVX. Frankly, it’s a miracle we got through it all!

Like an episode of 24, we’re racing against the clock on this week’s show. But the imminent threat of being thrown from the studio by Jack Bauer didn’t stop us from dimension hopping with ITVX’s Slip, digging up a relic with Company You Keep on Alibi and heading up to Scotland for some criminal shenanigans with Irvine Welsh’s Crime, now on ITV1. Plus Boyd waxes lyrical about the Olympics, Kay asks about Summer shows and the practice of ‘raw dogging’ gets a full examination — not the kind you think!