In honor of season 2 of Euphoria being released on HBO Max this week, and for my cheating, dishonest, liar of a “partner” to not be able to watch it since I logged out of my own Hulu and his other girlfriend’s HBO max accounts on both of his tvs per her request upon discovering the extent of said aforementioned dishonesty and manipulation while watching his dog, his “daughter”, for him while he was on vacation in Puerto Rico–a country he might be staying in, but one that was bailed out by the guy whose apartment I stayed in one street away from the Louvre the first year I went to Paris.

Suck on my balls.

It has been a week, let me tell ya.

I really, REALLY, REALLY cannot stress how much I absolutely did not need this character development. But, as just seems to be the case with me and “life”, probably the most unfortunate series of events have begun unraveling and I really regret making so many jokes about being the devil and going down to Georgia, because I am just emotionally getting my ass absolutely demolished and I don’t necessarily think I needed to. I feel like anyone who has read enough of the blog can maybe just take some sympathy towards that and all I have to say is that at 28 years old, I understand why so many single old ladies are so content in their old age to share the wisdom that is ignoring men. I get why my parents were so strict with me.

The world is not a nice place.

Turns out, it hurts even worse when it’s from someone who goes above and beyond to emphasize how they choose you, or the way they plan their life with you, the way they phrase things to be inclusive (and point it out). Mu’fuckin diversity consultants.

Someone who epitomizes and brings you back to perhaps the only formal community you remain within, the Carolina community, who evokes its presence to make you feel at home, belonged, and appreciated, just to lie to you. Someone who has heard and watched you speak on the things that have impacted you, and still impact you, who asks you to trust them, to believe in them, while being objectively dishonest, and not just to me.

It just goes to show that if the value of your words have no meaning, how do you expect anyone to allow you to lead them. When you lie to yourself, for fear of the truth, your version of “honesty” becomes subjective.

THIS is my villain origin story (as if we didn’t have enough of THOSE already).

Thank the gods for Megara, Maleficent, Cruella de Vil at times, all the strong, sassy, Disney women ahead of their time for reminding me how to channel my rage: into disgust and spite for the system that has enabled whatever these “men” are. This is what happens when we have people like Donald Trump avoid the draft, whose parents and lines of financing likely benefited from it extensively, while all the truly good ones went off and died from guerilla warfare tactics because again, we are always the terrorists on foreign land, why would other countries not view us in such a light–the civil affairs emergence in the army is just as stunted as “public health” programs in the USA.

It is no WONDER we have such a cultural emphasis on avoiding reality.

Which, like, what country doesn’t?

I mean, if the Japanese government can deny the Nanjing Massacre despite the International Military Tribunal’s judgment, the USA denying the lasting impacts of racism and the necessity for public health and progressive legislation seems pretty on par, honestly. I mean, as far as international delusions go, the USA also competes heavily with Russia and China in these Olympics as well, is all I’m saying.

Thus...