We're still on our summer break and using the time to resurface some of our popular conversations. This week, we're talking to Erika Anne Englund about her experience as a former divorce attorney, mediator, and now chief of strategy at SupportPay. The big lesson from this episode? The path we walk can change with the language we use to define it.

Erika Anne Englund spent 15 years as a divorce attorney, professional mediator, and law professor before becoming Chief of Strategy at SupportPay. And she tells it like it is — divorce is hard for everyone involved. That’s why it’s so important to trap the language we use that piles negative emotion on an already difficult situation. To start, let’s agree to stop reading articles that have some variant of “Learn to Survive the Holidays after Divorce!” Let’s instead assume that survival isn’t a choice, and reframe the experience to be one of as much joy as we can muster so that we can be better parents, better co-parents, and happier people.

We can do that by sharpening our negotiation skills and Erika helps us on that path. From dealing with conflict to figuring out how to best get to “yes”, you’ll be more prepared for difficult conversations after our show this week.

Links & Notes

• Jerry Campbell and the Dynamic Tension Between Love and Fear • The Change Paradox Podcast

About Ericka Anne Englund

You can find Erika plying her trade at SupportPay — “the first financial platform for helping parents organize, manage, and transfer child support payments between each other.” Erika is internationally recognized for her expertise and ability to bridge the gaps between the worlds of family law, legal tech startups, and single parenting. She loves it. Erika is a happy co-parent of two young children (usually - she isn’t perfect), and she spends her extra time poorly attempting paddleboard yoga.

• 01:38 - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• 02:05 - Meet Erika Anne Englund
• 04:32 - Don't Survive the Holidays
• 19:14 - Ask for Help
• 30:49 - The Amygdala Hijack
• 48:45 - SupportPay
• 57:31 - Wrap Up