• Honesty and Vulnerability in Friendships:

  • Initiating tough conversations about unmet needs is essential to gauge respect and mutual support.
  • Small “no” statements reveal whether a friend respects boundaries or tends toward manipulation or guilt-tripping.

• Guarding Your Heart:

  • Proverbs 4:23 emphasizes guarding your heart to prevent dependency on others for validation.
  • By making God the source of well-being, friendships become supportive without becoming the foundation of one’s self-worth.

• Understanding Friendships vs. Ministry Relationships:

  • Distinguishing between friendships, which are mutual and reciprocal, and ministry relationships, where giving is without expectation.
  • True friendships require both give-and-take, unlike ministry relationships, which may be one-sided.

• Establishing Healthy Boundaries:

  • Recognizing personal limits, such as the story of the “laundry lesson,” where a lack of boundaries led to silent resentment.
  • Knowing when to express needs and limitations to avoid burnout and passive-aggressive responses.

• When Friendships Need to End:

  • Natural fading of friendships versus ending them with intentional conversations if there’s been a breach of trust.
  • Practicing clarity: If a friendship no longer aligns with your life stage or values, addressing this honestly can prevent miscommunication.

In this episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Leslie Vernick interviews Michelle Hord, a former producer of Good Morning America. Michelle shares her heartbreaking yet inspiring story of losing her daughter Gabrielle at the hands of her soon-to-be ex-husband and her journey of resilience and faith thereafter.

1. • The Tragic Event

     • Description of the tragic event involving Michelle's daughter, Gabrielle.
     • Emotional and psychological impact on Michelle and her family.

       Life Before the Tragedy

       • Insights into Michelle's marriage and reasons for the divorce.
       • Discussion about emotional abuse and its impact.

2. Gabrielle's Personality

   • Michelle's memories of Gabrielle.
   • Gabrielle's character and memorable traits.

3. The Night of the Tragedy

   • Details of the night Gabrielle's life was taken.
   • Michelle’s immediate reactions and actions following the event.

4. Immediate Aftermath

   • Steps Michelle took following the tragedy.
   • The support system that helped her through the initial shock.

5. Regaining Power and Faith

   • Michelle’s journey to regain her power and sense of self.
   • Her process of rebuilding faith and resilience.

6. Book Discussion: The Other Side of Yet

   • Introduction of Michelle’s book.
   • Explanation of the book’s title and central themes.

7. Defiant Faith

   • Discussion on the concept of defiant faith.
   • How Michelle has embraced defiance against evil and adversity.

8. Support Systems

   • Importance of having a strong support system during crises.
   • Examples of how Michelle’s friends supported her through difficult times.

9. Gabrielle’s Wings Foundation

   • Overview of the Gabrielle’s Wings Foundation.
   • The mission and activities of the foundation to honor Gabrielle’s legacy.

10. Conclusion and Prayer

    • Closing thoughts from Leslie and Michelle.
    • Prayer for listeners facing their own battles with evil and hardship.

• Links and Resources:

  • Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
  • Gabrielle’s Wings Foundation Website
  • Purchase Michelle Hord’s Book
  • Michelle Hord's Website
  • Leslie Vernick’s Free Quick Start Guide

• Social Media Contacts:

  • Follow Leslie Vernick on Instagram and Facebook
  • Follow Gabrielle’s Wings on Instagram and Facebook

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RESOURCES: JOIN CONQUER! Open through October 4, 2024 Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-2433

In this powerful episode, Julie Sedenko speaks with Rose, a member of the Conquer support group, about her 20-year marriage filled with manipulation and abuse. Rose candidly shares the early warning signs she ignored, her experiences of escalating hostility and covert manipulation, and the profound trauma she endured during pregnancy and beyond.

She recounts the turning points, including realizing the extent of the abuse, the challenges of seeking help, and her difficult journey towards divorce and custody battles. Through support from the Conquer group and personal resilience, Rose found strength and hope, ultimately transforming her life. This heartfelt conversation underscores the importance of recognizing abuse, the impact of community support, and the empowering journey of personal growth.

• Early Signs of Abuse

  • Rose discusses the red flags and warning signs that emerged before marriage.

• Experiencing Hostility

  • Description of the increased hostility and aggression from her husband during pregnancy.

• Trauma During Pregnancy

  • The impact of severe emotional and verbal abuse during Rose's pregnancy.

• The Realization of Abuse

  • Rose's journey to understanding that she was experiencing abuse, including insights from her mother.

• Manipulation Tactics

  • Detailed examples of how Rose's husband employed manipulation and control, such as blocking exits and monitoring her whereabouts.

• Path to Divorce

  • The crucial moment when Rose calls the police and begins her battle for divorce.

• Custody Battles

  • Ongoing struggles with custody and how Rose hopes for a future free from her husband's control.

RESOURCES: REGISTER HERE for Leslie's FREE Workshop, If He Doesn't Hit Me, Is it Still Abuse? God Cares. September 24th, 2024, 12pm & 7:30pm Eastern

JOIN CONQUER!! September 24 - October 4th

In this episode, Betty shares her journey through CONQUER, a program that played a pivotal role in her life, first as a married woman and later after her divorce. She discusses how she rediscovered her core values, tackled people-pleasing habits, and found invaluable community support. Her story is a testament to personal growth and resilience, offering hope and a heartfelt prayer for those facing tough times.

• Twice the Impact: Betty took CONQUER courses twice—first married, then divorced in December 2016. She reflects on how this dual experience shaped her perspective and growth.

• Discovering Authenticity: Betty's journey to rediscover her core values. Insightful question: "Who did God make you to be?"

• Moving Beyond People Pleasing: Role plays and self-awareness exercises in CONQUER helped her recognize and overcome patterns of people-pleasing.

• Community and Support: Importance of community in Betty's healing journey. Deep connections and friendships formed through CONQUER.

• Transformation and Growth: Betty's evolution spiritually and emotionally. Living authentically and secure in identity and faith.

• Gratitude and Mentorship: Betty's shares her appreciation for Leslie Vernick's mentorship and teaching. Impactful moments of support and guidance.

• Finding Meaning in Difficult Times: Drawing from Isaiah 45:3—finding treasures in darkness. Recognizing God's presence and provision in challenging times.

• Encouragement for Listeners: Words of encouragement for those in similar journeys. Embrace inner work, community support, and spiritual growth.

• Closing Thoughts and Prayer: Betty's closing reflections on her journey. Heartfelt prayer for listeners in difficult circumstances.

RESOURCES:

Register Here for Leslie's Free Workshop

Are You in a Destructive Marriage Test/Quick Start Guide

Pam's Journey:

• Reflects on her marriage of over two decades overshadowed by manipulation and deceit.
• Discovering her husband's hidden behaviors: excessive gambling, pornography use, and financial mismanagement.
• The emotional toll of deception and cycles of hope and disappointment.
• The turning point: uncovering infidelity and confronting the reality of emotional abuse.

Navigating Healing and Transformation:

• Coping with legal and financial challenges amidst ongoing deceit and manipulation.
• Finding solace in resources like Leslie Vernick's teachings and support groups.
• Recognizing and addressing emotional abuse: setting boundaries and focusing on personal healing.
• Spiritual growth and redefining beliefs about marriage and submission.

Reflections and Moving Forward:

• Challenges and victories in navigating divorce and rebuilding self-worth.
• The role of support systems: friends, family, and therapeutic interventions.
• Embracing opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment beyond the confines of marriage.
• Insights into reclaiming identity and finding empowerment in life after abuse.

RESOURCES: Julie Bonn Blank's website https://www.juliebonnblank.com/ Abuse Recover Ministry: https://abuserecovery.org/ Book: "On the Frontlines of Abuse" Books by Julie Bonn Blank

• Near-Death Experience

  • Julie Bonn Blank shares her profound spiritual experience after a near-death allergic reaction
  • Impact on her faith journey and ministry

• Understanding Coercive Control

  • Definition and examples of coercive control in relationships
  • Its role in perpetuating abuse dynamics

• Highlighting ARMS Programs

  • Overview of "Her Journey" program for survivors of domestic violence
  • Explanation of "Mankind and Virtue" program for abusers

• Challenges in Church Responses

  • Discussion on how churches address abuse within their congregations
  • Importance of supportive and accountable church environments

• Personal Reflections on Healing and Relationships

  • Julie's insights on building healthy relationships after abuse
  • Differences and learnings from past experiences

• Women may hesitate to show physical affection due to fear of it being seen as an invitation for sex.
• It’s important to communicate intentions clearly when offering hugs, kisses, or other forms of affection.
• An effective way to set boundaries: “I love being close to you, but I don’t always want it to lead to sex.”
• Men should understand that affectionate gestures are not always signals for sex; ongoing dialogue is key.

• Faking orgasms can erode trust and intimacy in a relationship.
• Honest communication about sexual desires and experiences is essential.
• If a woman is not in the mood for orgasm, she should express this openly: “I want to be close to you but don’t expect me to reach orgasm.”
• Focus on connection and mutual pleasure rather than performance.

• Certain practices, such as extramarital sex and harmful activities, are considered off-limits.
• Biblical teachings emphasize respect, mutual consent, and preserving the sanctity of sexual relationships.
• Open dialogue about preferences and boundaries helps maintain a healthy relationship.

• Covert marital rape can involve emotional or spiritual coercion, where consent is not freely given.
• True consent involves the ability to express desires and boundaries without fear of negative consequences.
• If coerced into compliance, seek professional help and support to address these issues.

• There is disagreement in the church on this topic.
• Masturbation can be a natural part of sexuality and may not necessarily indicate problems in a relationship.
• It’s important to discuss personal needs and expectations about masturbation within the context of the marriage.
• Addressing how masturbation affects the relationship openly and respectfully can lead to greater understanding and alignment.

• Feeling deceived when a partner’s sexual preferences or desires differ from expectations can be challenging.
• It’s important to address these concerns openly with your partner and seek to understand each other’s needs and boundaries.
• Consider couples counseling to explore these issues in a safe, guided environment.
• Building a supportive relationship where both partners feel heard and valued is crucial, even if sexual desires do not align perfectly.

• Long-term relationships, like homes, require regular maintenance and repair.
• Addressing emotional, physical, or relational damage is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship.
• Prioritize well-being and safety; if a partner’s behavior consistently harms the relationship, consider seeking therapy or reevaluating the relationship.

• Marriage and intimate relationships involve navigating various challenges and dynamics.
• Clear communication, mutual respect, and honest dialogue are essential for a fulfilling and healthy relationship.
• Seek support and resources to address issues and build a stronger partnership

RESOURCES: Resources: Kobe’s book: Why Am I Like This?: How to Break Cycles, Heal from Trauma, and Restore Your Faith Dwell Bible App

In this episode, Kobe explores the intersection of prayer, therapy, and setting boundaries in the journey of healing from relational wounds and trauma. Drawing from personal and professional experiences, Kobe shares insights and practical tools to empower listeners in their healing journey.

Prayer as a Healing Practice:

• Importance of Prayer: Prayer serves as a foundational practice in connecting with God and seeking emotional and spiritual healing.
• Prayer in Daily Life: Kobe shares personal experiences where prayer has been pivotal in navigating challenges and finding peace amidst turmoil.

Spiritual Insights and Healing:

• Learning from Elijah: Elijah's journey in 1 Kings 19, is where God provided resources for endurance rather than immediate escape from suffering.
• Price of Righteousness: Doing the right thing does not always lead to immediate positive outcomes, yet God provides strength and resources for those who persevere.

Benefits of Therapy and Coaching:

• Perspective Beyond Pain: Therapy and coaching offer insights outside one's immediate suffering, essential for moving beyond trauma.
• Healing Responsibility: While not responsible for the initial wounds, individuals are accountable for their healing journey.
• Questioning for Growth: Asking oneself questions is pivotal for healing, acknowledging there are answers beyond current understanding.

Setting Boundaries and Biblical Perspective:

• Importance of Boundaries: Setting boundaries is biblical and mirrors God's design for relationships, fostering mutual respect and safety.
• Misconceptions: Boundaries are not about punishment but safeguarding conditions for personal thriving and mutual respect.

Breath Prayer for Healing:

• Kobe shares a breath prayer exercise as a contemplative practice, combining deep breathing with a prayerful connection to God's presence.