Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to love again after your heart has been shattered? Maybe you've walked through a painful divorce, betrayal, or even the loss of someone dear—and the thought of opening your heart again feels terrifying, or even wrong. In today’s powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michelle Hord, author of The Other Side of Yet, a woman who has endured the unimaginable: the murder of her daughter by her abusive ex-husband.

But this is not just a story of tragedy—it's a story of grace, growth, and God's unexpected redemption.

Michelle returns to share the sacred, surprising journey of rebuilding her life, falling in love again, and finding joy in a new marriage and motherhood after loss. She offers faith-filled wisdom on doing the internal work, discerning true safety, and honoring both grief and growth. If you’re wondering if God can write a new chapter in your story—this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways:

Healing Comes Before Rebuilding Michelle didn’t go searching for love—she focused on healing. Through grief, therapy, prayer, and service, she slowly began to rebuild from the inside out. She emphasizes that true readiness for a new relationship starts with doing your own work, not rushing into rescue.

“You have one Savior—and you won’t meet Him at church or a party. Don’t look for someone to rescue you when God is the One writing your rescue story.”

Emotional Safety Is Non-Negotiable After surviving emotional abuse, Michelle shares how she learned to recognize and prioritize safety over charm. In her new relationship, she tested boundaries, voiced concerns early, and paid attention to how her new partner responded to her “no.”

“I realized that God doesn't want me to be with someone I fear. Respect, kindness, and feeling cherished are non-negotiables—not luxuries.”

Guilt Isn’t a Prerequisite for Grief Michelle vulnerably shares the emotional tension of finding joy again after her daughter’s death—and how she wrestled with feeling “allowed” to experience happiness. She reminds us that grief and joy can coexist, and choosing joy honors those we've lost.

“God's purpose for me didn't end with my daughter’s death. Joy doesn’t erase grief—it expands around it.”

Redefining Strength and Speaking Up Many Christian women were never taught to know or express their needs. Michelle explains how learning to speak honestly, set boundaries, and stop minimizing her discomfort was key to breaking unhealthy patterns and cultivating real intimacy.

“We often teach others how to treat us by what we tolerate. Don’t make yourself smaller for someone else’s comfort.”

There Is Life After the Valley Today, Michelle is remarried to a man who cherishes her, and they share a son, Alexander. Her journey proves that even after devastation, God is still writing beautiful new chapters—not in spite of the pain, but through it.

“God’s mercies are new every morning. He can bring light out of your darkest place—and it doesn't mean you’re forgetting what came before.”

Personal Invitation: Ready for a Breakthrough?

If you're resonating with Michelle’s story and wondering how to begin again—or even if you can—then don’t miss Leslie’s upcoming free webinar, Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough.

You’ll gain clarity, courage, and biblical tools to stop spinning in circles and start stepping into healing.

Register now at: leslievernick.com/stuck

Closing Encouragement

Friend, if you're listening today and your heart is aching, please hear this: your story is not over. What you’ve endured does not disqualify you from love, joy, or a meaningful life. Whether your grief is public or private, whether your pain feels “big enough” or not—God sees you. And He is not done.

You may not have chosen the pain in your past—but you can choose your next step. As Michelle says, “There is always a yet.” And God is in the business of turning that “yet” into your next.

Hold on. Healing is possible. With God’s help, you can learn to live, hope, and love again.

Listen to the full first episode with Michelle here: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-f52fe-16f28e1

Learn more about Gabrielle’s Wings or support Michelle’s nonprofit: gabrielleswings.com

Do you dread the holidays—not because you don’t love your people—but because you're already feeling stretched thin, emotionally exhausted, and maybe even a little resentful?

You’re not alone.

This week, Leslie Vernick and Coach Diana unpack what it looks like to stop over-functioning during the holidays by learning how to set boundaries—clearly, kindly, and biblically. From role-playing difficult conversations to exploring the internal guilt and fear many women wrestle with, this episode is packed with faith-filled insight and practical tools to help you protect your peace and prioritize what matters most.

If you’ve ever felt selfish for saying “no” or guilty for disappointing others, this conversation will give you the clarity and courage you need to love well—without losing yourself.

Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re sacred. God set boundaries in creation, and He calls us to do the same. Boundaries reflect His nature of order, peace, and love. When we set boundaries, we’re not being harsh—we’re honoring God’s call to steward our time, energy, and hearts.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." – Proverbs 4:23

When we can’t say no, our yes becomes meaningless. Love that’s forced or rooted in fear isn’t love at all—it’s obligation. God never forces us into relationship with Him. He invites, never invades. In the same way, healthy love must include freedom and choice.

Leslie and Diana walk through real examples—like refusing to host Christmas, saying no to dog-sitting, or sticking to a spending limit. Each scenario highlights how to express a firm and loving no without over-explaining, defending, or absorbing guilt. These scripts show how clarity and compassion can coexist.

Someone else’s sadness, frustration, or manipulation does not mean you’ve done something wrong. Healthy boundaries often expose unhealthy dynamics. When others push back, it reveals their reliance on your compliance—not your care.

"Let them have their feelings. It’s not your job to manage their emotions—it’s your job to steward your obedience to God."

You’ll learn how to:

• Prepare for pushback by getting clear with God ahead of time
• Use breathwork and body-awareness to stay calm under pressure
• Let silence do the heavy lifting after you’ve stated your boundary
• Anchor your identity in Christ, not someone else’s approval
• Use simple scripts to hold a boundary without getting defensive

Are the holidays bringing up anxiety instead of joy? If you’re tired of the pressure to perform, please others, or over-function to keep the peace, Leslie’s resources can help you create emotional and spiritual breathing room.

Register now for Leslie’s free workshop: Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough Thursday, December 4th at 12pm or 7:30pm ET leslievernick.com/stuck

Friend, you don’t have to be everything to everyone this holiday season. You don’t need to hustle for love or sacrifice your sanity to make others happy. Boundaries aren’t walls to shut people out—they’re gates that let love in.

You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to say no—with kindness, clarity, and courage.

And when you do? You’ll be saying a much bigger yes to God, to emotional wholeness, and to the kind of love that sets both you and others free.

You’ve got this—with God’s help.

How to Discern a Safe and Godly Man

What does a safe and godly man truly look like? And how can you tell the difference between surface-level change and deep, lasting heart transformation?

In this powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michael and Kristen Cary, founders of Living Truth and creators of Men in the Battle and Women in the Battle. Together, they unpack the hard but healing truth about what real repentance looks like in a man, how to spot red flags—even when he seems "nice"—and why women need to do their own healing work, whether or not their partner is changing.

With raw honesty and biblical wisdom, this conversation offers practical tools to help women discern character, build clarity, and courageously walk toward truth and safety.

Key Takeaways

True Repentance Goes Beyond Behavior Management Real heart change isn’t just about stopping bad behavior—it’s about digging deep to understand the “why” beneath it. Men who are truly repentant aren’t just trying to avoid consequences; they’re broken over the pain they’ve caused, open to feedback, and willing to do the long, hard work of healing.

Women Must Heal, Too Betrayal trauma doesn’t just disappear with his sobriety. Even if the sexual sin wasn’t yours, the pain and damage are real. Healing requires tending to your own wounds, setting boundaries, and stepping into the work of becoming whole again—regardless of what he chooses to do.

Believe the Behavior, Not the Words Change is seen in fruit, not phrases. Many men can talk the talk—especially in Christian circles—but safety is shown through consistent actions: humility, accountability, respect for boundaries, and emotional maturity. If he gets defensive, blames, or minimizes your pain, those are red flags—not repentance.

When “Nice” Isn’t Safe Just because he’s nice doesn’t mean he’s safe. Safety means he can hear your truth without punishing you. He respects your "no," honors your boundaries, and doesn’t manipulate with guilt, fear, or Scripture. A man who is truly safe will prioritize your emotional and spiritual well-being—not just try to keep the peace.

The Pain Must Be His Teacher—Not Yours Sometimes the only thing that wakes someone up is the pain of consequences. Staying “nice” to avoid upsetting him often prevents the very growth that’s needed. Love does not mean enabling sin. Godly sorrow leads to repentance—not just sorrow over being caught.

If You're Struggling to Discern the Truth…

If you’re unsure whether your marriage is just difficult, chronically disappointing, or truly destructive, don’t stay stuck in confusion. Leslie has created a free Quick Start Guide to help you gain clarity, take your next right step, and begin walking in truth.

Download your guide here: www.leslievernick.com/guide

To connect with Michael and Kristen Cary and explore their healing programs for men and women: Visit: www.living-truth.org

Dear Friend, God is not asking you to sacrifice your safety, sanity, or soul to save a marriage that is wounding you. He calls us to walk in truth, not denial—to speak up, not shrink back.

Even if he never changes, you can. You are not alone, and you are not powerless. With God’s help, you can move forward in wisdom, clarity, and courage—one brave step at a time.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and while we wish this wasn’t something we needed to talk about, it’s a heartbreaking reality—even among those who profess faith in Christ. In this powerful and eye-opening episode, Leslie speaks directly to women who are suffering in silence, helping them understand the truth about domestic abuse through a biblical lens. If you’ve ever been told to pray harder, submit more, or suffer silently for the sake of your marriage, this episode is a must-listen.

With over 45 years of counseling experience, Leslie shares how abuse shows up in both obvious and subtle ways and offers practical, faith-based guidance for identifying abuse, responding wisely, and reclaiming your safety, dignity, and voice.

Domestic Abuse is Always Sin Domestic violence isn’t just about physical harm—it's any pattern of dishonoring behavior, including emotional, verbal, spiritual, financial, and sexual abuse. Abuse is never justified, never excusable, and always sinful. God’s Word calls us to honor one another as His image-bearers, and repeated harm without repentance is not just sinful—it's destructive.

You Are Not to Blame Abuse is not a response to being provoked. Everyone gets frustrated, but each of us is responsible for our own actions and words. Ephesians reminds us: “In your anger, do not sin.” An abuser’s choice to harm is not your fault. You are not to carry the blame for someone else’s sin.

Biblical Headship is Not About Control True biblical headship is never about domination or coercion. Biblical submission must be freely chosen—not forced. When power is used to silence, manipulate, or intimidate, it is no longer leadership; it is oppression. God’s heart is always for the oppressed, not the oppressor.

God Cares About Your Safety The Bible does not ask you to stay in harm’s way. Proverbs 27:12 says, “The prudent see danger and take refuge.” God values your safety and sanity more than keeping up appearances. From Rahab to baby Jesus fleeing Herod, Scripture supports wise action to protect life and wellbeing.

Speak the Truth and Allow Consequences Ephesians 5:11 tells us to expose the unfruitful deeds of darkness. Enabling sin through silence is not biblical. Loving your enemy doesn't mean tolerating abuse or reconciling without repentance. True change involves confession, visible repentance, and bearing the weight of consequences. Even David, though forgiven, faced the loss of his child as a result of sin.

Healing Starts With Truth and Safety Are you feeling overwhelmed or unsure about what to do next? Start by taking one brave step toward truth and safety. Begin building a safety plan, speak up to someone you trust, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Romans 12:21 reminds us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” You are not powerless. Choosing what is good might mean leaving, telling the truth, or finally saying "no more."

If this episode spoke to your heart, and you realize you need help navigating a destructive marriage, please know you're not alone. We offer faith-based support and resources to help you move forward with courage and clarity. Visit https://leslievernick.com/guide to get your Quick Start Guide now.

Dear friend, God does not call you to suffer in silence. You are His beloved daughter, worthy of safety, love, and respect. Abuse breaks the covenant—not you seeking safety. Take heart. You are not alone, and with God's help, healing and freedom are possible. May you find the strength to speak truth, seek safety, and walk forward in faith, one brave step at a time.

For Biblical references, CLICK HERE

Have you ever felt like you’re barely surviving behind the scenes while projecting a picture-perfect life to the outside world? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Coach Diana sits down with Jeannie—a homeschooling mom, writer, and woman of deep faith—who opens up about her journey from silent suffering as a pastor’s wife to finding clarity, healing, and her God-given voice.

Through years of overfunctioning, pretending, and holding on to a crumbling marriage, Jeannie learned the life-changing difference between suffering silently and living in truth. Her story is raw, redemptive, and full of hope for anyone wondering if they’ll ever feel peace again.

Key Takeaways

Overfunctioning Isn’t Strength—Truth Is For years, Jeannie believed that being a good wife meant suffering silently, forgiving endlessly, and making everything look okay on the outside. But through Leslie Vernick’s CONQUER and Walking in Core Strength programs, she discovered that true strength is not about carrying someone else’s sin—it’s about stepping into reality and living aligned with God’s truth.

Survival Mode Isn’t Sustainable Jeannie’s life was marked by constant moves, ministry demands, and emotional neglect. She did what many women do—minimize, suppress, endure. But eventually, even her strong spirit broke. The turning point came not from hardship itself, but from being unseen, unheard, and spiritually isolated. That’s when she realized: living in non-reality wasn’t faith—it was fear.

God's Peace Follows Obedience to Truth Learning the difference between forgiving and trusting, honoring God over pleasing people, and choosing obedience over image changed everything for Jeannie. Isaiah 54 became her anchor—God as her Redeemer and Husband. As she let go of false beliefs and idols like marriage and image, peace finally moved into her home and heart.

Purpose Can Be Reborn in the Ashes After her husband left, God breathed life into Jeannie’s long-dormant writing dreams. Within hours, a publisher emailed to accept her article. Soon after, her children’s book was published. Her obedience opened the door for God to redeem her pain and restore her voice—not just for her healing, but for others.

You Don’t Need to Know the Whole Path—Just Do Today If you’re stuck, afraid, or overwhelmed, Jeannie offers this grace-filled reminder: You don’t need to figure out the next ten steps. Just do today. One faithful, truthful step at a time. With God’s help and the support of wise others, you can do hard things—and you don’t have to do them alone.

Jeannie’s journey shows how easy it is to get lost in confusion, questioning your own reality and wondering if things will ever change. She learned that facing the truth, even when painful, was the very doorway to peace and freedom. And if you find yourself wondering whether the man in your life is truly changing or just putting on another mask, there is a safe place to explore that question.

👉 Register for the free Conquer Workshop: Is He Changing, or Just Pretending? Click here to save your spot.

Friend, if you feel lost, confused, or weary from carrying the weight of a destructive relationship, take heart. You are not weak—your perseverance proves your strength. But you don’t have to live in survival mode any longer. God sees you. He values your voice. And He is writing a new chapter in your story—one filled with peace, purpose, and unshakable hope. You are never alone when you walk with Him.

Welcome to Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, where we bring truth with love to the tough topics of emotionally destructive relationships.

In today’s special Coaches Takeover episode, Leslie Vernick team coaches Diana Bala and Susan King dive into people-pleasing, insecurity, and the transformative path toward freedom in Christ.

We’re fresh off our 5-Day Insecurity Coaching Challenge—and in this conversation, we’re going even deeper.

In This Episode:

A recap of the 5-Day Insecurity Challenge:

Self-doubt Shame and guilt Perfectionism The inner critic People-pleasing

1. Highlights from the week:
   1. Women developing hope beyond shame and guilt
   2. Experiencing Scripture in new, life-giving ways
   3. Recognizing the hidden faces of insecurity

Key Insight: The Many Masquerades of Insecurity

Diana and Susan unpack the ways insecurity often masquerades as something good—but at a cost:

✅ Kindness

• Saying yes to everything, avoiding conflict
• Underneath: fear of rejection, desire to be liked
• Truth: Kindness includes boundaries

✅ Humility

• Downplaying strengths, deflecting compliments
• Underneath: fear of being judged, imposter syndrome
• Truth: Humility is not shrinking

✅ Responsibility

• Overfunctioning, taking on others’ problems
• Underneath: need to feel needed
• Truth: Healthy responsibility knows what is yours and what is not

✅ Peacemaking

• Avoiding hard conversations, keeping silent
• Underneath: fear of conflict
• Truth: Real peacemaking requires courage and truth

✅ Flexibility

• Always going along, hiding preferences
• Underneath: belief your needs don’t matter
• Truth: Flexibility shouldn’t erase you

Why Do We People-Please?

• To avoid conflict, rejection, or feeling like a burden
• It often begins in childhood:
  • Conditional love or safety
  • Messages like “Be a good girl,” “Don’t upset your father”
  • Approval as currency for worth

How Do We Transform?

Change your inner narrative:

“I must earn love” ➜ “I am already worthy.”

Embrace agency, reclaim your God-given identity, and practice compassion for the part of you that learned to survive by pleasing.

A simple, powerful way to interrupt people-pleasing patterns:

1️⃣ Pause & Name the Pattern

• Notice when you’re saying “yes” when you mean “no”
• Ask: What am I afraid will happen if I don’t please?

2️⃣ Identify the Hidden Belief

• E.g. “If I disappoint them, they won’t love me.”
• “Saying no makes me selfish.”

3️⃣ Speak the Truth

• “My worth is not dependent on someone else’s opinion.”
• “Boundaries create healthier relationships.”
• Biblical grounding:
  • “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” — Galatians 1:10
  • “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” — Matthew 5:37

4️⃣ Make the Trade

• “I trade my fear of disappointing others for honoring my limits and values.”
• Then take the aligned action.

Next Steps

If you joined our challenge this week—you didn’t just learn about insecurity. You moved through it. But this is just the beginning.

If you’re ready to live out what you’re learning, join us in our Moving Beyond People-Pleasing Flexible Coaching Experience.

It’s time to move from:

• Performing ➜ Presence
• Guilt ➜ Groundedness
• Pleasing everyone ➜ Becoming your God-given self

👉 www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse Groups start this week—plenty of times to join!

Final Words

“Thank you for letting us be a voice in your ear and a companion in your heart. You are not alone. You don’t have to keep performing for love that’s already yours.”

We’re closing out our Coaches Takeover for the summer but will return in the fall!

Until next time—be kind to yourself, stay curious, and keep moving forward.

Learn More & Join Coaching: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse Subscribe for Updates: www.leslievernick.com

In today’s episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, host LeAnne Parsons, Professional Certified Coach and trauma-informed practitioner on Leslie Vernick’s coaching team, sits down with Vickie a woman whose life was built on saying yes to everyone—until she learned how to say yes to God first.

From taking on adult responsibilities at age six to becoming everyone’s helper as a wife, mom, and ministry leader, our guest was admired for her generosity and "niceness"—but underneath was exhaustion, resentment, and a quiet spiritual disconnect.

Through the Moving Beyond People Pleasing program, she discovered the profound difference between being nice and being kind, between serving others and submitting to God's voice.

She shares how learning to pause, ask God first, and honor the boundaries He helped her set brought incredible freedom—and how the courage to speak up, receive coaching, and be honest with herself changed everything.

This conversation will inspire any woman who has ever felt burned out, invisible, or afraid to say no.

• How people pleasing became part of her identity from childhood
• The moment she realized “niceness” was costing her more than she knew
• Why being honest with God and herself was the most loving thing she could do
• What it’s like to speak up for the first time in a safe coaching environment
• How biblical boundaries led to peace, clarity, and confidence in daily life
• Why “If it’s not a firm yes, it’s a hard no” became a spiritual anchor
• The beauty of flexible coaching and sacred sisterhood in a Christ-centered program

“I thought I was honest. But I was saying yes when my heart was screaming no.”

“I assumed I was serving… so how could God not be in it?”

“If I didn’t have a firm yes, the answer was a hard no.”

“God didn’t ask me to be nice—He asked me to be faithful.”

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

If this story hit home for you, we invite you to join our Moving Beyond People Pleasing summer coaching experience. It’s flexible. Faith-centered. And filled with powerful tools, real-time support, and a community of courageous women walking toward truth, wholeness, and peace.

👉 [Link to Learn More + Sign Up]

Have you ever felt like you were losing yourself just to keep the peace? That you were constantly saying “yes” when your heart was crying out “no”? If you’ve ever struggled with people pleasing—especially in the wake of betrayal or in the midst of a painful marriage—this episode is for you.

In this powerful Coaches Takeover episode, Coach Diana Balla and Coach Susan King are joined by Mara, a courageous woman who vulnerably shares her journey through profound betrayal, emotional trauma, and ultimately, healing and transformation. Mara opens up about how Leslie Vernick & Co.’s “Moving Beyond People Pleasing” flexible group coaching experience helped her reclaim her voice, clarify her identity, and set boundaries that honor her God-given worth. Get ready to be deeply encouraged and inspired.

Key Takeaways:

🔹 Trauma Opens the Door to Transformation When Mara discovered her husband's decades-long betrayal, including hidden addiction and abuse, it shattered her world. But in the rubble, God met her. Her raw honesty about her trauma response—and how deeply betrayal by a spouse can impact the body and soul—will resonate with anyone who has felt broken by someone they trusted.

🔹 “I Didn’t Know It Was Abuse” Before the discovery, Mara believed she was simply in a dysfunctional marriage. Through Leslie’s book “How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong” and the Conquer program, she began to see the patterns of manipulation, control, and gaslighting that had long been present. Her story illustrates how education and support can awaken truth and offer a path to freedom.

🔹 A Safe, Flexible, and Powerful Coaching Experience The Moving Beyond People Pleasing group gave Mara the structure, support, and accountability she needed to begin showing up for herself. With multiple weekly call options, compassionate coaches, meaningful breakout groups, and a loving community, Mara found a space where she could be seen, heard, and healed—even when she had no words to pray.

🔹 From Silence to Strength: Naming Her Needs and Setting Boundaries From rejecting fake flowers she hated to creating three pages of firm, self-honoring boundaries, Mara learned how to stop abandoning herself and start living out her values. One breakthrough moment? Identifying her core fear—being alone—and learning not to let it dictate her choices.

🔹 Healing is Possible, and You Are Worth It With raw honesty, Mara shares how she moved from suicidal despair to spiritual connection, and how God faithfully met her—even in the silence. Her journey is a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t come from trying harder, but from training—and that transformation is possible when you stop people pleasing and start living from your God-given identity.

✨ Call to Action: Ready to Break Free from People Pleasing? If you’ve been touched by Mara’s story and are ready to start your own healing journey, we invite you to join us for our 6-week flexible group coaching experience, Moving Beyond People Pleasing. Starting July 14th, this empowering program offers live coaching, a supportive sisterhood, and the tools you need to reclaim your voice and your life.

👉 Learn more and register today at: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse

💛 Closing Encouragement: Dear one, you don’t have to keep living in fear, confusion, or exhaustion. You are not alone—and you are not powerless. God sees your pain and wants to meet you there. Healing is hard, but it’s holy work. You are worth the effort. Your story matters. And your life can be rebuilt—beautifully, boldly, and with Christ at the center.

We’re here with you every step of the way. Keep showing up. Keep training. And always remember: you are precious, you are loved, and you can be well.

🎧 Listen now and share this episode with someone who needs encouragement today.