Today we learned that kids can’t read analogue clocks anymore – one poor student even thought 9:58 was “9:8.” Then in a police interrogation, a suspect accidentally let one rip right as he was being charged… earning Priyanka Chopra’s old nickname “Farty Chopra” a comeback. Over in the Glossys: Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension has Colbert, Letterman and Fallon all up in arms, Reese Witherspoon does a killer Nicole Kidman impression, and Cardi B’s flogging CDs from a car boot with Gayle King. Oh, and Snoop Dogg says Stevie Wonder is the only artist he’d ever need, while Benson Boone’s cameraman got arrested for literally taking the piss in a Florida shop.

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Glossys time! Taylor Swift is rumoured to be dropping a secret movie next month to go with her brand-new album. Meanwhile, Hollywood is buzzing—Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension has other late-night hosts like Letterman, Colbert and Fallon weighing in on censorship. Reese Witherspoon’s gone full Nicole Kidman in a spot-on impression, and Cardi B’s flogging CDs from the boot of a car with Gayle King riding shotgun.

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A teacher put his students to the test—read an analogue clock in three seconds for bonus marks. The result? Chaos. Half the class guessed wrong, mixing up the hands, shouting times like “10:5” and “9:8.” The clip’s gone viral and now everyone’s arguing: is telling time on an old-school clock becoming a lost skill in the TikTok age?

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Jimmy Kimmel’s comments about Charlie Kirk have reportedly gotten his show pulled off air indefinitely, and Donald Trump is claiming Jimmy Kimmel Live! is officially canceled. Meanwhile, Jerry from Ben & Jerry’s leaves the company, and it’s now just Ben’s Ice Cream. In the Glossy’s, Colin Farrell admits Margot Robbie turns him on. Justin Bieber bags a solo $10M Coachella deal and prays over his beard, and Travis Kelce is already spilling Swiftie wedding tea. We get obsessed with Trump’s state visit—Kate next to Trump at dinner? Camilla and Melania at the same table? The crowns, the jewels, the menu?! Plus, Kris Jenner’s MAC stunt goes viral, Elton John turns his kneecaps into jewellery

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Josh Szeps - Australian media personality drops in for a round of Quick Draw!

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In todays Glossy’s, Queen Camilla reportedly shuns Princess Kate during a conversation with Melania outside Windsor Castle, while Colin Farrell shares a light-hearted story praising Margot Robbie and her kindness on set. Justin Bieber lands a $15 million Coachella deal and jokes about his beard growth on Instagram. Plus, Travis Kelce gives a glimpse into his wedding planning with Taylor Swift during a chat on his podcast.

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This week on Four The Record:

Joe explains who Charlie Kirk was and why everyone is losing their minds over his assassination.

PLUS! Is Taylor Swift a sociopath?

LINKS

• Follow Tim Blackwell on Instagram
• Follow Joe Hildebrand on Instagram
• Read Joe's column in The Daily Telegraph
• Listen to The Real Story With Joe Hildebrand

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A bloke in Kansas robbed a bank just to escape his wife, only to get sentenced to home confinement right back where he started. Meanwhile, a giant alligator in Florida caused chaos by strutting across an intersection like it owned the place. In the Glossy’s, Sabrina Carpenter teases her Coachella headline set, Lindsay Lohan Photoshops herself into her meals, Colin Farrell drops an F-bomb over Taytos, and Selena & Benny’s wedding sounds bougie as hell. We also heard the wildest racehorse names, ranked the craziest My Strange Addictions (yes, including eating ashes), and spun the Wednesday Wheel for a country edition of Povo.

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