Episodios

  • Protecting Your Peace or Getting Your Lick Back

    Protecting Your Peace or Getting Your Lick Back
    May 30 2025
    Let’s talk about protecting your peace — and whether that’s really what you’re doing… or if you’re just getting your lick back in silence. In this minisode, I’m breaking down the Room to Breathe Support Language™ — the kind of support that shows up as space, quiet, and the ability to step away without guilt. But I’m also naming the moments when we call it “protecting our peace,” and it’s really a low-key way of making somebody else feel the pain we didn’t say out loud. I even share a moment with my therapist that made me pause and ask myself if I was healing — or just withholding. If Room to Breathe is your Support Language, or if you’ve ever needed space but didn’t quite know how to take it without using it as a shield, this episode is for you. This episode is a reminder that space is sacred — but only when it's rooted in care, not control. You don’t have to go silent to feel safe. You can protect your peace and still stay connected to the people who love you right. Take your time. Take your breath. Just be honest about why you need it. In this episode, I talk about: What Room to Breathe actually looks like When silence becomes a weapon instead of self-care That one therapy session I’ll never forget Why relief isn’t the same as revenge How to know when your peace is real and when it’s rooted in proving Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    7 m
  • If You Mean Black Women, Say Black Women

    If You Mean Black Women, Say Black Women
    May 27 2025
    I’m just gonna say it — I get annoyed when I see Black women using the phrase “women of color” when I know they mean Black women. In this episode, I’m talking about why that bothers me, where I think it comes from, and what it’s actually costing us to keep softening, shrinking, or diluting our language — especially in spaces that are supposed to be built for us. I share a recent moment that made me want to reflect out loud. Not to be messy, but because I think it’s time we talk about what happens when we keep trying to make ourselves more acceptable — even in our own healing work. This isn’t about being divisive.It’s about being clear.Because when we say Black women, we’re not excluding anybody — we’re finally being honest. Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    6 m
  • Love Will Never Be Enough

    Love Will Never Be Enough
    May 13 2025
    They told us love was supposed to be everything. That if somebody loves you, that’s all you need. But how many times have you felt loved… and still felt completely alone? In this episode, I’m talking about that gap — the one between what people say and what they actually do. Because the truth is, love is not enough when it doesn’t come with support. And I get it. It’s hard to admit that out loud.Especially when you know they care.Especially when they say the right things. But if you’re still carrying everything by yourself…If you can’t fall apart without it turning into a problem…If you can’t rest without guilt or breathe without feeling like a burden…Then it’s time to get honest about what’s really missing. So if you’ve ever felt like something was off in a relationship — even when love was present — you’re not crazy. You’re not needy. You’re not asking for too much.You’re just finally telling the truth about what you actually need. And the truth is: love without support will never be enough. Let’s talk about it.Let’s talk about the difference between being told you matter — and being treated like you do. Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    9 m
  • A Mother's Day Reflection: When Love is There, But Support Isn't

    A Mother's Day Reflection: When Love is There, But Support Isn't
    May 11 2025
    Inspired by the new Netflix series Forever, this Mother's Day episode is a soft but honest conversation about what happens when fear leads the way in parenting. When love is present, but support… isn’t. This isn’t a recap.This is a reflection. Because a lot of us were raised on protection that looked like pressure. On expectations that felt like love, but left little room to breathe. And now, many of us are trying to re-parent ourselves while still holding space for the mamas who did the best they could with what they had. This episode isn’t about blame — it’s about truth.It’s about naming what was missing and choosing to offer ourselves something different.It’s about parenting — our children and our inner child — from trust instead of fear. If today feels complicated, this one's for you. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    7 m
  • Support When You’re in the Thick of a Thing

    Support When You’re in the Thick of a Thing
    Apr 29 2025
    Today we’re talking about support yourself during the hard seasons—and what it looks like when you have to be your own safe place. Some seasons are heavy.Some days, getting out of bed feels like a miracle.Some days, breathing through the next hour is the biggest victory you’ll claim. In this episode, I’m sharing what support looks like when you’re in the thick of a thing — when there’s no map, no quick fix, and no easy way to name the weight you’re carrying. We’re sitting with the real and the raw: How support can mean letting yourself fall apart without rushing the cleanup. How being your own safe place might be the softest, hardest thing you do all day. How support during hard seasons often starts with giving yourself permission to not be okay. If you’re in a season where life feels too heavy to dress up in pretty words...If you’re breathing your way through sadness, loneliness, or silent grief...If you’re learning how to stay soft with yourself when the world expects you to be hard... This isn’t a how-to guide.It’s not a motivational pep talk.It’s a soft landing.A real-time reflection.A slow, sacred breath in the middle of the storm. Because even in the thick of a thing, even when you feel like you’re falling apart, you are still worthy of support — especially your own. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    Menos de 1 minuto
  • Rebuilding Your Capacity to Be Held

    Rebuilding Your Capacity to Be Held
    Apr 15 2025
    Today we're talking about receiving support as a Black woman—and why it still feels hard, even when it’s soft and real. What happens when someone shows up for you with tenderness and care… and your first instinct is to flinch? What do you do when support is being offered—but your body doesn’t know how to let it in? This episode started with a comment from my daughter…And what should’ve felt like joy, pride, even gratitude—turned into hesitation. Doubt. A quiet refusal to receive. So today, we’re getting into the deep, unspoken patterns around receiving support as a Black woman—especially when you’ve been conditioned to be the strong one, the giver, the safe space for everybody else. We’re talking about the ways emotional safety and mindful care can still feel like a threat, even when we want them. How support can feel unfamiliar.How softness can feel suspicious.And how healing often starts with noticing the moment you want to push it all away. If your Support Language is Emotional Safety or Mindful Care, this one might speak directly to your nervous system.Because this episode isn’t about “being open.”It’s about building the capacity to receive—slowly, gently, without guilt. So if you’ve ever felt yourself shrink when someone tried to hold you,If you’ve ever pushed love away before it could land,If you’re still learning what it means to feel safe in softness… This is your invitation to start again.To be held—without apology.One quiet moment at a time. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    15 m
  • You Don’t Have to Explain Your Tired

    You Don’t Have to Explain Your Tired
    Apr 10 2025
    Some days the weight is real, and you’re too tired to carry it, explain it, or make it sound better than it is. For the days when the tears come outta nowhere and your body says, “we can’t keep doing this”... This is a quiet reminder that you don’t owe anyone a breakdown of why you need rest. You don’t have to clean up your exhaustion or justify your pause. You get to be tired. You get to slow down. You get to be held without performing for it. If you’ve been feeling stretched, overextended, or quietly unraveling… this one’s for you. Take what you need, and leave the rest. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    6 m
  • One Soft Moment Can Change Everything

    One Soft Moment Can Change Everything
    Apr 8 2025
    Let’s talk about emotional exhaustion as a Black woman—and what it really means to be held. What if being held didn’t require you to fall apart first? What if it was something you could reach for before you hit the breaking point? This episode was recorded at five o’clock in the morning… no mic, no script, no prep—just me, a heavy heart, and a whole lot of truth. Because sometimes the softest, most honest thing you can do is show up exactly as you are, while you're still sitting in the weight of it. We’re talking about the quiet kind of emotional exhaustion—the kind that creeps in when you’ve been moving for so long, you forget what it feels like to ask yourself what you need. The kind that convinces you being held is too much to ask for. And if your primary Support Language is Emotional Safety…this one might hit extra deep.Because it’s hard to let yourself be held when you’ve spent your whole life being the safe space for everybody else. This one’s not about fixing it.It’s not about pushing through.It’s about pausing long enough to say,“I don’t have to perform today.” So if you’ve been carrying more than your share, if the emotional exhaustion is starting to feel like your normal—this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself. One soft moment at a time. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    16 m