Segments:

Chinese Year of the Istanbullocks/ Introduction

• Featured Publication: Frog Log magazine, the amphibian conservation community’s news source for all your trending amphibian news.
• What to expect

Morgan Freedman Poem: The Rusty Sheriff's Badge

• Morgan reads a poem about anuses, humorously titled "The Rusty Sheriff's Badge."

True or False

• A fun quiz and banter segment, featuring quirky questions about Madonna's family, black cats and smearing dog poo on Liam Gallagher's Door

Comedy Sketch

• Sexy celebrity chef Vagella Rickrocks oozes sex appeal and rhubarb compote but faces challenges from her naughty cat, Caroline.

Criminal Minds - Psychiatology Quiz

• Ray undergoes comedy criminal profiling, adding a humorous twist to the profiling process.

Kiss and Tell

• An amusing reader's letter about a dodgy date is shared and discussed.

Post of the Week

• A joke sent in by a listener is highlighted and celebrated.

Description: "Join us for Episode 82 of Talking Istanbullocks! In this edition, Jorma Kirkko brings you a hilarious and diverse lineup of segments. We kick off with a rude poem by Morgan Freedman where he delights us with a humorously crafted poem, 'The Rusty Sheriff's Badge.'

Test your knowledge with our True or False quiz, and enjoy the chaos as celebrity chef Vagella Rickrocks attempts to maintain her sexy, calm veneer while dealing with her mischievous cat, Caroline. Ray undergoes comedy criminal profiling in our Criminal Minds segment, and we share a laugh over a reader's dodgy date story in Kiss and Tell. Finally, we wrap up with the Post of the Week, featuring a joke sent in by one of our listeners.

Brought to you by Frog Log magazine, your go-to source for all things amphibian. Despite Ray's absence, we promise you won't even notice he's not there! Tune in for laughs, banter, and a good time."

#BritishComedy #ComedyPodcast #MorganFreemanPoem #IrishComedy #TrueOrFalseQuiz #NigellaLawsonParody #CriminalMinds #KissAndTell #PostOfTheWeek #FrogLogMagazine

TRANSCRIPT

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GtdMMAqQJ-gEV8z0RHykguDZIzfUNkC1BQliIypUk-8/edit

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The boys are back in town!

1. Welcome and Introduction:

• Hosts Jorma + Ray, are in their local juicer trying to bribe the staff with used underwear to play the All-Ireland final instead of the Olympics as they are reunited after a month. This week's guest publication is Health and Efficiency, the culture magazine for nudists.

2. Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (Featuring Joe Biden)

• Joe Biden's heartfelt rap about his resignation, why Kamala Harris would be a better president than Donald Trump and his love of slippers.

3. Celebrity True or False Quiz: Kicking off with Sylvester Stallone the chat soon descends into Ray's love of Milk Maid Magazine and his ambitions to set up a softcore magazine called 'Swank'.

4. Honzie's Horoscopes

• South Africa's premier bogus astrolomer delivers horoscopes for Canceleos (July birthdays) as he hasn't been given the budget to do Cancer and Leo separately.
• Eerily shocking and accurate psychic predictions for the month of July including school closures and why you should avoid Bangladesh this summer holiday

5. Listener Engagement:

• Encouragement for listeners to subscribe, follow, and share our YouTube channel

6. Post of The Week

• An intrigung crime story about a man who was sensationally banned from the countryside after being caught 'interfering' with tractors.

Additional Notes:

• Listeners are invited to contribute poems for Morgan Freedman to read.
• Encouragement to check out the podcast’s YouTube channel for sketches and more comedic content.
• This show uses AI voices

#ComedyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #JoeBidenresigns #Banter #IstanbulComedy #Funny #TractorSex #HoroscopePredictions #HealthAnd Efficiency #SuffolkGazzette #HumorAndSatire #MustListenPodcast #ComedyVarietyShow

TRANSCRIPT: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TJ-w22vJ4gTWqM5Myi8gYbfMlRs2M4pK5pJbqN8FKKM/edit?usp=sharing

Social Media:

• Subscribe on YouTube
• Follow and interact on social media platforms for more updates and behind-the-scenes content.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week the boys are proud to have a self-penned song by Gareth Southgate, join a serial killer for dinner - but Who's Doing The Dishes? Meanwhile, an Irishman who's had a vasectomy tries to get two lesbians pregnant for a whole year and the lads talk about the pain of losing a pet. Guest Sponsor: Furry Female Magazine.

Song: Dry Your Eyes Mate (Gareth Southgate) written and performed by The Streets and Jorma Kirkko

Sketch: Written by Jamie T. Murphy and Jorma Kirkko. Starring: Jamie T. Murphy, Jorma Kirkko, Joan O'Ruairc, Harold Shipman and Valerie Richards

This podcast uses AI and may depict certain events that are purely fictitious.

#britishcomedy #irishcomedy #comedypodcast #garethsoutgatesong #mikeskinner #who'sdoingthedishesparody #haroldshipmansketch

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this sunny summer special, Jorma and Jamie T. Murphy try (more or less successfully) to avoid politics and sport, while Ray, takes a well-earned break. The lads discuss why nobody should be exempt from having the piss taken out of them and probably too much information about removing ball hair from Jamie's mansion and a Venetian Harbour in Crete.

Highlights

1. Morgan Freeman Poem - Canadian Waxing
2. King Charles discusses hereditary illness with Meghan and Harry (sketch)
3. Tribute to Ray Mac: song about 80's erotica
4. A Middle England woman gets arrested at a jam-making festival (sketch)
5. Kiss and Tell - Ray and Jorma discuss a dodgy dogging date (reader's letter)
6. Kaiden Stokes The Really Woke Bloke lectures a happy mother on how to bring up her child ethically (sketch)
7. Listen to Jamie's Podcast on Mental Health: https://shows.acast.com/ya-alrite-hun

All sketches and songs/jingles written and produced by Jorma Kirkko.

Voices provided by Valerie Richards, Joan O'Ruairc, Duncan Chesley, Jorma Kirkko

Special thanks to Jamie T. Murphy, Ray Mac, Eamon McAndrew

#britishcomedy #irishcomedy #podcast #takingthepiss #JamieTMurphy #YaAlrightHunPodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today's show special guests, comedy-writer and musician Jamie T. Murphy and bookshop owner, Wally O'Neill talk about how they help people suffering from addictions, mental health and homelessness in their home-town of Wexford, while the politicians do nothing.

The pair are launching their own podcast next week, 'Ya alright Hun?' where people tell their real-life stories of mental illness and addiction in their families. Jamie and Wally are chalk and cheese but are both heroes in their community and riveting and hilarious guests.

This week's sketch is Gareth Southgate and Rishi Sunak performing Lose Yourself by Eminem.

#britishcomedy #irishhumour #redbookswexford #jamietmurphy #wallyoneill #mentalhealthcharity #southgateout #sunakout #comedysong #Eminemripoff

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1. Welcome and Introduction:

• Hosts Jorma + Ray, dressed in their summer finest, kick off the episode from their favourite local pub. Jorma is sporting a string vest reminiscent of Onslow from "Keeping Up Appearances," while Ray flaunts an off-the-shoulder Prada number as they sip Pimms + Lemonade + Roofies and Baileys.

2. Chickpeas and Rat Boys

• Chickpea Magazine - your go-to source for all things hummus and falafel related. ‘Fuller Than a Bowl At A Bulimics All You Can Eat Buffet’
• Introduction to the trending term "Ratboy Summer," the latest viral fashion trend on TikTok.

3. Morgan Freedman's Poem - "Ratboy Summer":

• Morgan Freedman humorously navigates the absurdity of TikTok, particularly focusing on the emergence of "Ratboy" chic.
• The poem delves into the shift from traditional handsome guys like Gary Cooper to the new trend of ratboys, providing a satirical commentary on societal trends, ending with a humorous plea for compassion and common sense in romantic pursuits.

4. Ratboy discussion – a Welsh BAFTA nomination for Morgan Freeman?

• Ray nominates Morgan for a Welsh BAFTA.
• Poetry requests from listeners to talkingistanbullocks@gmail.com

5. Listener Engagement:

• Encouragement for listeners to subscribe, follow, and share the podcast on various platforms.
• Special mention of the rising listener base in Malaysia.

6. True or False Quiz: The Reproductive Lives Of Bees and David Beckham

• Fun and quirky segment packed with fun facts and banter.

7. Community Spotlight – ‘Are You Alright Hon?’

• Red Books in Wexford, Ireland, run by Wally O'Neill. is more than a bookshop; it’s a community hub offering workshops, writing courses, live music, and also support homeless and mental health initiatives.
• Upcoming podcast "Are You Alright Hon?" presented by Wally and regular contributor to Talking Istanbullocks, Jamie T. Murphy, focusing on personal stories about addiction, homelessness, and mental health.

8. Bogus Horoscope and Psychic Predictions for the month of June with Honzie Curley:

• Honzie returns with his monthly horoscopes and suspiciously accurate psychic predictions for June.

9. Post of the Week:

• A humorous joke about a duck, self-identifying as a plasterer.

10. Final Thoughts and Outro:

• Ray and Jorma wrap up the episode with light-hearted banter and reminders for listener interaction and engagement.

Additional Notes:

• Listeners are invited to contribute poems for Morgan Freedman to read.
• Encouragement to check out the podcast’s YouTube channel for sketches and more comedic content.
• This show uses AI voices

#ComedyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #RatboySummer #Banter #IstanbulComedy #Funny#WexfordBooks #HoroscopePredictions #ViralTrends #TikTokFashion #HumorAndSatire #MustListenPodcast #ComedyVarietyShow

TRANSCRIPT: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Anka0iEBcAqPg8zW5MJvRX_C5aTQnNallLx_tlcbR7w/edit

Social Media:

• Subscribe on YouTube
• Follow and interact on social media platforms for more updates and behind-the-scenes content.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Funnier than Jonathan Ross" - Graham Norton.

The belly laughs are back in this summer variety show as Ray and Jorma drink gin with various vegetable surprises in conjunction with Pakistan Textile Journal

1. Chinese Year of the Talking Istanbullocks: Introduction and Ray gets a sensual foot massage from an Aussie farmer called Bruce
2. Is The New American Dream: A poem by Morgan Freeman. Morgan talks about how hopeless the two geriatric presidential candidates, Biden and Trump are and drops a revealing hint about Clint Eastwood's recent embarrassing hospital visit.
3. Aging Presidents discussion: Sharks, Electric boats and Morgan Freeman's age.
4. Plugging the YouTube channel: Talking Istanbullocks Comedy. Being accused of being an NPC by a little bollix and not understanding internet slang.
5. True or False: Test your knowledge of boybands and rhyming slang for haemorrhoids (piles).
6. Mock The Woke (COMEDY SKETCH) Kaiden Stokes, the overly woke bloke, tries to order a pint of ''Guinness Beer'' from Greg, the slightly autistic bartender, who mistakes him for a Trip Advisor inspector. Greg tries to be ''accommodating and friendly'' and Kaiden ends up in a spot of bother with the police after he flashes some dollars around in a red light district.
7. Blackmilkshake Post of the Week: Which human organ becomes ten times bigger when it's stimulated?
8. Preview and Shout Outs

TRANSCRIPT: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ROCe-4pODCDpFoGLVz4J6cGPagEEYMLNv-pnKKmzpOs/edit?usp=sharing

Join us for another riotous episode filled with satire, slapstick, and clever comedy. If you enjoy the show, don’t forget to share it with your friends and leave us a rating!

#ComedyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #GinAndTonicCucumber #hilariouspodcast #youngatheart #MockTheWoke #BidenOrTrump #MorganFreemanPoetry #PodcastHumour #TalkingIstanbullocksYouTubeChannel #TimHallam #PakistanTextileJournal #hilariouspodcast #funnierthanjonathanross

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this steamy and sultry episode from a tropical Istanbul, Jorma and Ray bring you a blend of belly laughs and unexpected twists in a show brought to you in conjunction with American Bitch magazine

1. Chinese Year of the Talking Istanbullocks: Introduction and Ray explains how he allegedly got a hole in his jorts.
2. Ink On Ugly: A poem by Morgan Freeman. Morgan talks yachts, emergency workers and questions the wisdom of body art with his signature wit.
3. Tattoo discussion: Jorma makes a bold comment on Shakira and Chardonnay's parents
4. Plugging the YouTube channel: Talking Istanbullocks Comedy
5. True or False: Test your knowledge on Jerry Hall, Geri Halliwell, Mick Jagger and Bryan Ferry and a nice story about Balinese hospitality and were the Rolling Stones paedophiles?
6. Nigel Farage General Erection: A sketch where Nigel goes on the campaign trail in Lickey End and misunderstands a middle-aged woman's ''invitation to Lickey End'' as he causes.
7. Blackmilkshake Post of the Week: The boys read the funniest and most outrageous listener submissions, including a humorous story involving a priest and some unexpected reactions during a church mass
8. Special Thanks: Shout-outs to our loyal listeners and an awkward thanks to the fantastic Joan O'Ruairc

TRANSCRIPT: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OdlELg1u5rknzfvgaPhM5gcjTdGmEGBn9OkmCagkTuA/edit

Join us for another uproarious episode filled with satire, slapstick, and clever comedy. If you enjoy the show, don’t forget to share it with your friends and leave us a rating!

#ComedyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #TattooFails #hilariouspodcast #youngatheart #NigelFarageMilkshake #NigelFarageSexScandal #MorganFreemanPoetry #PodcastHumour #TalkingIstanbullocksYouTubeChannel #JoanO'Ruairc #AmericanBitch #hilariouspodcast #youngatheart

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.