We finally got around to checking out this 2023 BookTok phenomenon thanks to our Patron Austin, who described Legends & Lattes as, "a cozy and wholesome story about overcoming your past and settling down to...side with the mob threatening to burn down your establishment.”

Despite the nerdy theme, the focus today is more on the cozy than the fantastical. Our poisoned expectations are completely subverted and we've rarely been so delighted. In addition to our usual barnyard language, we warn you that this discussion will make you think about how you could really go for one of those right now.

Musings and derailments in this episode include: Dunkin’ Orcnuts, Squirrel alarms, language failures, Fren-talian gnomes, the extended Mr. Rat family, and our jubilance over not having to read pornography becomes mildly pornographic in our delirium.

*Local primaries and the general election are both coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.*

A fateful tweet last summer by the author themselves brought this book into our terrible orbit. At first glance, it looked like a short read by someone with expertise in the field they were writing about, so we figured why not? We've never done a travel book on the show! Little did we know: our passports were about to be stamped for a journey on a AI-fueled train to capitalist hell.

Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language and some references to colonialism and sex.

Please Note: Chris accidentally mispronounced Cristiano Rinaldo's first name as Christian throughout the entire episode. Whoops!

This week we discuss Home Grown Worries by Alex Donahue. We reviewed Alex’s other book, Leon & Chris, back in Episode 114 in 2022; he’s hoping that this is an improvement on that one as this is its spiritual successor. In turn, this episode is our spiritual successor to Episode 114.

Once again, Donahue's book has great art for kids and it seems like he actually took some of our advice from last time; gone are nearly all of the mechanical writing errors and tedium! While we didn't feel the core story was very captivating, we're impressed with Donahue's masochism. Never have we had an author ask us to review their work - and go through with it - twice. If anything, this is a sign that he has the fortitude to keep refining his work and succeed as an author.

Musings and derailments in this episode include: the bounds of furry art, Castlevania, and singing the fake song in the book.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode discusses violence and bullying between adolescents.

You may not think you know Mazes & Monsters by Rona Jaffe, but you certainly know its 1982 movie adaptation starring Tom Hanks in his first leading role (which you can watch along with us on our Patreon). We wondered if anyone would ever request this book and that day has finally come thanks to our patron Lucek. Thanks for all of your support, Lucek (and for being patient with us when we had to ask you for a second and third choice this year due to some unfortunately timed crossover in our patron requests)!

Today's episode is all about D&D and LARPing, plus we wonder about what makes a sexy mouth, rules in 70s dorms, who exactly is named 'Hall', and why we need to know this much about everyone's parents. Despite some real truths and emotional realism in some respects, this story is far too steeped in Satanic Panic nonsense. It's also hard to forget that this book trafficked in sensationalism and profitted off of James Dallas Egbert, III's brief disappearance in 1979 and his eventual tragic death in 1980.

Musings and derailments in this episode include: D&Tea and the potency of Many World's Tavern Chamomile, and our personal music and video game updates:

• Play Gobsmacked!
• Listen to Blood for the King and Divine Battle from Savage Oath's Divine Battle
• Listen to Down in the Hollow from Crypt Sermon's The Stygian Rose

Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.

Our patron Arrant has requested another non-fiction gem for their Patron's Choice episode this year. In How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life, Dilbert-creator Scott Adams weaves together the strands of memoir and self-help and fills any extra space in this book basket with glue made of lies (seriously, he opens the book by telling you not to trust him) and a stunning lack of self-awareness. As always, capitalism is the ever-present ghoul, Paris is pissed at Jesus (moreso than usual), and together we learn that the real way to fail at everything is, perhaps, by going on unabashed racist tirades and doubling down rather than engaging in any self-reflection.

We hope you enjoy the episode, Arrant, and thank you for your longtime, faithful support of the show!

Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.

Our patron Of The Void (The Taco Eating Unicorn of the Hot Springs) requested yet another Yahtzee Croshaw book in the hopes that we would enjoy it more than Jam, their Patron's Choice from last year. In that sense, this episode is a spiritual successor to Episode 177 where we return to Yahtzeeworld, but feel like we landed on a different continent this time. We're steeped in video game/MMORPG and fantasy tropes today, Chris is ashamed of his newfound addiction to Dungeon Crawler Carl, and Paris is alarmed that she is perhaps too good at voicing a sleazy character.

We hope you enjoy the episode, Mr. Taco Eating Unicorn of the Void and the Hot Springs, and thank you so much for your unrelenting support of the show!

Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.

Good book alert: This is your semi-annual reminder that if you haven't read the Mistress of the Art of Death book quintet by Arianna Franklin, get to it! We've mentioned the series many times but have both finally dived back in to finish out the other 4 books recently and can't help but remind ya'll to give it a try.

It's time for the ultimate 1990s crossover - X-Men and Star Trek, united at last! We discuss our experience reading 1998's Planet X by Michael Jan Friedman, as per the request of our Patron Fred. For once, we actually want more romance between two characters and just want there to be some stakes in a story, but I guess that's hard when you're working with popular intellectual property. Paris & Chris swap personalities, we remember Orbitz, and Paris Does Math About It™.

We hope you enjoy the episode, Fred, and thank you so much for supporting the show!

Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.