This episode has everything: curdled milk, tiny hats, the Tour de France, Big Gretch. And that’s all before the break! In our SECOND segment, we explore our favorite topic of the week: ads.

Move over Don Draper, because these two BBWs are coming through to serve up some of the best commercial moments you’ve ever heard. NOTHING helps ease the discomfort of humanity’s agonizing downward spiral like a catchy little jingle! We learn about Lindy’s legacy status in the advertising world and share some of the most iconic line reads from our favorite commercials (Robert Loggia???). Email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com to share what ads live rent-free in your brainestrone!

Check out these (currently un-sponsored) faves!

• For amazing ice cream recipes, The Perfect Scoop by David Lebovitz
• Brown Sugar-Bourbon Ice Cream by Bon Appetit
• Get into Cycling with us and watch the Tour de France on Peacock
• Enjoy Lindy’s shoutout by THEE Big Gretch!
• And of course, go listen to ep where Lindy and Meagan wax poetic about the Jardiance commercial: Lindy and Meagan Corner the Husband Demographic

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

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TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, Lindy and Meagan kick things off with a bang as they officially claim the title of BBWs (Better Business Women)! They’ve been eating nothing but thick cheesy soups like Forbes or something recommended and they’re ready to share their big juicy half-researched headlines as they hustle their way to the tippy top of the podcasting world. Forbes: 50 BBWs Under 50 here we come!

But first! It’s time for Segment P.U.B.E.S., aka corrections, updates, and apologies. Lindy fesses up to some major Pete the Dragon libel, but there are plenty of P.U.B.E.S. to go around so don’t hesitate to share your very own P.U.B.E.S. with us on the Best Friend Party Phone at (703) 829-0003.

Next up! Lindy and Meagan take notes from a couple other BBWs and their impressive PR teams. Our enigmatic Charlotte the Stingray has an unexpected ending but her mysterious pregnancy legacy lives on in the form of a Brazilian boa who lived for 9 years as a single man named Ronaldo and who recently gave birth to 14 snakes. That’s right–snake moms can be BBWs too. The show desperately needs a Snake of the Week jingle, so kindly send your genius little compositions over to our email deartextmeback@gmail.com.

And finally, Lindy and Meagan dive into a topic many of our parasocial BFFS out there have been asking for: more friendship lore from the Lindy-Meagan archives. As a devoted listener, you are invited to use our weirdly specific movie quotes to confuse and alienate your very own friends and family!

Happy slurpee day! If you’re 7/11 and want to sponsor two BBWs, DM us on IG and Tiktok @textmebackpod

From NPR: Charlotte the stingray, the would-be mom, has died at her N.C. aquarium

From a random potentially unverified source: 'Ronaldo had been looking slightly fatter than usual': Snake thought to be male has 14 babies in rare 'virgin birth'

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

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TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s a week of chaotic tidings for Lindy and Meagan that includes a befuddled Barry, rogue Cochin chickens, and snakes galore. Lindy’s spontaneous road trip has an unexpected ending, Meagan has an unhinged encounter with a live rooster on the streets of DC, and our beloved segment SNAKE OF THE WEEK is back. Move over Freekaconda and Titanoboa, new large snakey queen just dropped. Also, because dinosaurs are snakes if you think about it, Meagan shares a dinosaur finding for her snake of the week. Spoiler! The new (78 million year old) dino is a proud gay Gen Z American raising funds to run for Congress! Want to support him? Then subscribe to our Patreon!

From some unfamiliar Lindy source: Move Over Titanoboa, Fossil Of "Largest Snake To Have Ever Existed" Found In Gujarat

From NPR: Named after the Norse god Loki, meet Lokiceratops, a new horned dinosaur species

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week we are proud to report that we have a husband listener! Welcome, buddy! And what a time to be a new listener and/or a husband, because in this episode Lindy and Meagan are doing the Lord’s work: ranking dragons. We’re talking about Smaug. We’re talking about Puff. We’re talking about…the other ones.

BUT THEN, as if that wasn’t enough, Lindy and Meagan bravely breach a topic few have dedicated so much air time to. It’s a little something with a big story to tell, it’s the must-have accessory for your high A1C, it’s an ear worm even mightier than the one in RFK Jr.'s brain. It’s the Jardiance jingle, and in case you were wondering: yes, we play it in its entirety.

If YOU are a husband who listens to the show, we want to hear from your wife! Let her know how much you love the show, and have her text or call us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week's episode is hot hot hot—literally and figuratively. We’ve got a special guest! Our personal hero Lizz Winstead, who's been making waves in comedy and politics for decades. And Lindy does NOT make it weird. One dragon question per guest IS normal.

Lizz Winstead is the co-creator and former head writer of The Daily Show, co-founder of Air America Radio, and current powerhouse behind Abortion Access Front. Lizz dishes on her storied career, shares tales from the front lines of abortion access activism, and gives us the scoop on her latest project—the documentary No One Asked You, currently making rounds at film festivals (our Provincetown listeners need to go to the screening literally today!).

We wrap up with a revealing game of F.M.K.I.H.B.F.D.T.S (the famous game you know and love) involving some of our favorite and most dangerous political villains. Tune in to hear how Lizz weaponizes karaoke and Freaky Friday mind swaps for the good.

Find a screening of No One Asked You near you at:

https://www.nooneaskedyoudoc.com/screenings

Learn more about Abortion Access Front (and consider donating!) at:

https://www.aafront.org/

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, Lindy and Meagan both realize that they've been having thoughts about dogs, which we're sharing in a new segment called DOG THOUGHTS. What if dogs could sweat? And what, exactly, is the nature of a dog's business?

Then, we have a story from the Best Friend Party Phone about a piece of fan mail gone horribly wrong--a seemingly innocent letter traumatized a room full of fourth graders, teaching them the hard way that the Killer is real and he lurks everywhere. Even in your homework assignments. Lindy and Meagan go on to reminisce about their own experiences bothering celebrities in the 1990s, including one of the most legendary moments from their friendship lore: the time they met their late-night talk show host hero. Tune in to find out how much they scared him!

And finally, your intrepid hosts discuss WHATCHA WATCHIN'???, a segment about whatch they watchin'. Spoiler alert: Lindy is watching Shogun and Meagan is watching true crime slop. But thank god for the slop, because Meagan has uncovered evidence suggesting that Keith THEE Morrison is not only a superfan of this podcast but subscribes to the Patreon as well. Delusional? You be the judge.

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What a day! Lindy delivers some hot hot hot breaking news: she's become a flat earther, for real, not a joke*, and you won't BELIEVE what finally pushed her over the edge, so to speak. (It involves one Instagram reel, two mysterious travelers, and an unconfirmed number of dragons.)

Then, Meagan updates us on her DC swamp life in a new segment called "Oops, I Crapped My Real Job!" Find out what Meagan *personally* is doing to punish Justice Samuel Alito for being a naughty boy, featuring her Mean Mommy Business Voice on the mic at a bona fide press conference with real live congresspeoples! She got 'em! This is why she's so sleepy all the time!

And lastly, Meagan and Lindy dispense trivial advice to listeners struggling with low-stakes problems. Nothing important, nothing stressful! Please don't ask for advice on your divorce, but they will tell you what color notebook to get!

Is this both the funniest AND the most informative Text Me Back of all time? There's no way to know unless you download it and listen to the whole thing all the way through twice!

*It is a joke

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, something has gone wrong with Meagan's brain and it's NOT a worm! It has something to do with finding an Amish dog named Kevin online, becoming hypnotized by his tiny bear face, then entering a fugue state and traveling to his location in Lancaster, PA with $850 in cash and the backing of literally dozens of listeners to purchase him. Is this an ethical way to acquire a dog? No. Was Kevin worth it? 100000%.

Then, Lindy -- a connoisseur of oceanic news -- brings an aquatic story of great significance from one of our Nation's most trustworthy journalistic sources: Instagram reels. This story has everything: an air guitar contest, one or two chill brewskis at most, a man overboard, a creature of some kind, and a stick. Lindy and Meagan ponder what they'd do under similar harrowing circumstances, then rank sticks from worst to best.

You won't want to miss this episode! We've already sent it to the Library of Congress for preservation!

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.