In this special Halloween-themed episode of The Art of Relationships, Dr. Chris and Alisa Grace uncover the “marriage monsters” that quietly creep into relationships when we’re not paying attention. From unspoken expectations and avoidance to contempt and emotional disengagement, these hidden habits can quietly erode intimacy, trust, and connection.

With their signature blend of biblical wisdom, psychological insight, and real-life experience, Chris and Alisa share how to identify these relationship “haunts” and—more importantly—how to fight back with humility, honesty, and grace.

Whether you’re navigating challenges with your spouse, fiancé, or close relationships, this episode offers hope-filled, practical tools to turn your “haunted house” back into a safe haven.

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAL0NYvpIqI

Key Topics Covered:

• The “Ghost of Unspoken Expectations” — how hidden assumptions breed frustration and resentment.
• The “Skeleton of Avoidance” — why silence and peace-at-any-cost can quietly destroy connection.
• The “Monster of Contempt” — the biggest predictor of divorce and how to replace it with appreciation.
• The “Phantom of Emotional Disengagement” — how busyness and neglect drain intimacy and what to do about it.

Resources Mentioned:

• Repair Checklist (Gottman Institute) — Practical statements to de-escalate conflict and build understanding.
• FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway – Monterey, CA — Three days of teaching, connection, and renewal for couples.
• The Art (And Science) of Relationships — A 7-lesson online course from the CMR combining Scripture and research-backed insights on communication, conflict, and connection.

Connect with Us:

• Website: cmr.biola.edu
• Facebook: facebook.com/biolacmr
• Instagram: instagram.com/biolacmr
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/@biola-cmr

Join the Conversation:

• Subscribe to The Art of Relationships Podcast to never miss an episode.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform to help others discover the show.
• Share this episode with someone who could benefit from these relationship insights.
  Sign up for weekly updates and resources from the Center for Marriage and Relationships:
  👉 http://eepurl.com/bgsuQv

About the Hosts:

Chris Grace, Ph.D., and Alisa Grace are passionate about helping people build and sustain healthy relationships. As leaders of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, they combine the wisdom of Scripture with scholarly research to offer practical advice and insights. Learn more about their work at cmr.biola.edu.

In this episode, Chris Grace and guests explore what it truly means to find freedom and identity in Christ. Joined by Dr. John-Paul (J.P.) Foster and Dr. Matt Williams, they discuss insights from their new book, Finding Freedom in Jesus: 21 Attributes of Your Identity in Christ. Together, they unpack how understanding who God says you are transforms not only your sense of self but also your relationships, emotional health, and spiritual growth.

From battling negative self-talk to breaking free from shame, guilt, and false identities, this conversation dives deep into the biblical foundation of freedom and victory. You’ll hear powerful stories of transformation—from students and church members to an 87-year-old woman—showing that it’s never too late to live out your true identity in Christ. Whether you’re navigating challenges with friends, family, your spouse, or even your own self-worth, this episode offers practical wisdom to help you walk confidently in who God says you are.

Resources Mentioned:

• Finding Freedom in Jesus: 21 Attributes of Your Identity in Christ – By Dr. J.P. Foster & Dr. Matt Williams. A practical and theological guide to understanding who you are in Christ and experiencing spiritual freedom.
• Free Relationship Advice – Center for Marriage and Relationships (CMR) – Get confidential, biblically grounded, and practical advice from trained counselors to strengthen your relationships and prevent issues before they grow.
• Ron Blue Trust – Financial Planning for Couples – Faith-based financial advisors helping couples find peace and unity in their finances through biblically sound stewardship. Learn more at ronblue.com or connect with advisor Colby Gilmore at colby.gilmore@ronblue.com.

Connect with Us:

• Website: cmr.biola.edu
• Facebook: facebook.com/biolacmr
• Instagram: instagram.com/biolacmr
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/@biola-cmr
  
  

Join the Conversation:

• Subscribe to The Art of Relationships Podcast to never miss an episode.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform to help others discover the show.
• Share this episode with someone who could benefit from these relationship insights.
  Sign up for weekly updates and resources from the Center for Marriage and Relationships:
  👉 http://eepurl.com/bgsuQv

About the Hosts:

Chris Grace, Ph.D., and Alisa Grace are passionate about helping people build and sustain healthy relationships. As leaders of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, they combine the wisdom of Scripture with scholarly research to offer practical advice and insights. Learn more about their work at cmr.biola.edu.

In this episode, Chris and Alisa Grace explore the sensitive question many Christians wrestle with: If I had sex before marriage, am I forgiven? They discuss God’s design for sex, how He responds to sexual sin, and the emotional, spiritual, and relational healing that is possible. Along the way, they address shame, guilt, conviction, and the difference between God’s forgiveness and the enemy’s accusations, while offering practical steps toward freedom and restoration. Whether you’re navigating your own past, supporting a spouse, or walking with a friend through this struggle, this episode provides compassionate and hope-filled guidance for strengthening relationships.

Resources Mentioned:

• FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway – Monterey, CA – A weekend away to invest in your marriage with biblical teaching, practical tools, and quality time together. Learn more and register here
• Talbot School of Theology – Equipping leaders in biblical truth and partnering with the CMR to expand resources for marriages and relationships. www.biola.edu/talbot
  
  

Connect with Us:

• Website: cmr.biola.edu
• Facebook: facebook.com/biolacmr
• Instagram: instagram.com/biolacmr
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/@biola-cmr

Join the Conversation:

• Subscribe to The Art of Relationships Podcast to never miss an episode.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform to help others discover the show.
• Share this episode with someone who could benefit from these relationship insights.
  Sign up for weekly updates and resources from the Center for Marriage and Relationships:
  👉 http://eepurl.com/bgsuQv

About the Hosts:

Chris Grace, Ph.D., and Alisa Grace are passionate about helping people build and sustain healthy relationships. As leaders of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, they combine the wisdom of Scripture with scholarly research to offer practical advice and insights. Learn more about their work at cmr.biola.edu.

In this episode, Chris and Alisa Grace explore the often-overlooked struggle of making friends in college. They discuss why college can feel more isolating than expected, the psychological and social hurdles that block new friendships, and the surprising reasons even extroverts feel lonely in new environments. Providing practical insights and encouragement, they share stories, scientific research, and biblical wisdom to help students take initiative, overcome social anxiety, and build meaningful connections.

Whether you're dealing with roommates, classmates, old high school friends, or you're navigating life as a commuter, this episode offers valuable advice to improve your relationships and feel less alone.

Resources Mentioned:

• How to Ask Better Questions (PDF) – A guide to asking questions that build deeper connection and spark better conversations.
• It’s Just Coffee (PDF) – A simple tool to help start low-pressure conversations and grow new friendships.
• Free Relationship Advice – Schedule a free session with a trained relationship advisor (in-person or virtual).

Connect with Us:

• Website: cmr.biola.edu
• Facebook: facebook.com/biolacmr
• Instagram: instagram.com/biolacmr
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/@biola-cmr
  
  

Join the Conversation:

• Subscribe to The Art of Relationships Podcast to never miss an episode.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform to help others discover the show.
• Share this episode with someone who could benefit from these relationship insights.
  Sign up for weekly updates and resources from the Center for Marriage and Relationships:
  👉 http://eepurl.com/bgsuQv

About the Hosts:

Chris Grace, Ph.D., and Alisa Grace are passionate about helping people build and sustain healthy relationships. As leaders of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, they combine the wisdom of Scripture with scholarly research to offer practical advice and insights. Learn more about their work at cmr.biola.edu.

In this episode, Chris and Alisa Grace unpack what it really means to have a Christ-centered marriage. Beyond simply sharing a faith background, they explore the defining traits of a marriage where Jesus is truly at the center. Drawing from Scripture, research, and their own marriage journey, they discuss key differences between valuing Christ and truly centering your relationship on Him, as well as practical habits that help couples reflect the love of Christ daily.

From healthy communication and conflict resolution, to servant leadership, prayer, and practicing gratitude, Chris and Alisa provide practical insights to strengthen your marriage and encourage spiritual growth together. Whether you’re married, engaged, or dating with faith at the core, this episode offers a powerful vision of how your relationship can point others to Christ.

Resources Mentioned:

• Fierce Marriage 40-Day Prayer Guides – Devotionals designed to help you pray intentionally for your spouse. shop.fiercemarriage.com/products/40-day-prayer-journey-couples-bundle-2-books?srsltid=AfmBOopx3UCuDhkuufGJP2QnGFa3gmkg4PtwKIJjVTke7EtsgSRIyNK7
• Ron Blue Trust – Biblically centered financial planning for couples seeking unity in stewardship. ronblue.com

Connect with Us:

• Website: cmr.biola.edu
• Facebook: facebook.com/biolacmr
• Instagram: instagram.com/biolacmr
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/@biola-cmr
  
  

Join the Conversation:

• Subscribe to The Art of Relationships Podcast to never miss an episode.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform to help others discover the show.
• Share this episode with someone who could benefit from these relationship insights.
  Sign up for weekly updates and resources from the Center for Marriage and Relationships:
  👉 http://eepurl.com/bgsuQv

About the Hosts:

Chris Grace, Ph.D., and Alisa Grace are passionate about helping people build and sustain healthy relationships. As leaders of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, they combine the wisdom of Scripture with scholarly research to offer practical advice and insights. Learn more about their work at cmr.biola.edu.

In this episode, Chris and Alisa Grace explore what it really means to date well—approaching relationships with intentionality, emotional health, and biblical wisdom. They discuss the purpose of dating, the importance of aligning your faith, assessing red and green flags, and the role of spiritual discernment and emotional maturity in building healthy connections. You’ll also hear practical tips on navigating compatibility, understanding personality traits, and seeking input from trusted community members. Whether you're single, newly dating, or looking to strengthen your approach to relationships, this episode offers valuable, no-fluff guidance to help you date in a way that honors God, protects your heart, and sets the stage for a healthy future.

Resources Mentioned:

• Gary Thomas – Sacred Marriage – A book exploring how marriage is designed to make us holy more than happy. https://www.garythomas.com/sacred-marriage/
• Big Five Personality Test – A research-backed tool for understanding key personality traits in yourself and others. https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive
• The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – Gottman Institute resource on the four destructive communication patterns to watch for in relationships. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
  
  

Connect with Us:

• Website: cmr.biola.edu
• Facebook: facebook.com/biolacmr
• Instagram: instagram.com/biolacmr
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/@biola-cmr

Join the Conversation:

• Subscribe to The Art of Relationships Podcast to never miss an episode.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform to help others discover the show.
• Share this episode with someone who could benefit from these relationship insights.
  Sign up for weekly updates and resources from the Center for Marriage and Relationships:
  👉 http://eepurl.com/bgsuQv

About the Hosts:

Chris Grace, Ph.D., and Alisa Grace are passionate about helping people build and sustain healthy relationships. As leaders of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, they combine the wisdom of Scripture with scholarly research to offer practical advice and insights. Learn more about their work at cmr.biola.edu.

In this episode, Chris and Alisa Grace explore the all-too-common struggle of comparison—especially in the age of social media. They discuss why we compare ourselves to others, how comparison can become a trap that steals our joy, and when (if ever) comparison can actually be helpful. Drawing from social psychology, Scripture, and real-life stories, they offer practical insights and tips to help you break free from unhealthy comparison and embrace your God-given identity. Whether you're dealing with relationships with roommates, parents, friends, or significant others, this episode offers valuable advice to improve your sense of self and relational health.

Resources Mentioned:

• Blue Trust – Certified Wealth Strategists – Personalized, biblically centered financial planning and investment services.
• Understanding Your Spiritual Temperament (with Gary Thomas) – A podcast episode on how different people uniquely connect with God.
  
  

Connect with Us:

• Website: cmr.biola.edu
• Facebook: facebook.com/biolacmr
• Instagram: instagram.com/biolacmr
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/@biola-cmr
  
  

Join the Conversation:

• Subscribe to The Art of Relationships Podcast to never miss an episode.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform to help others discover the show.
• Share this episode with someone who could benefit from these relationship insights.
  Sign up for weekly updates and resources from the Center for Marriage and Relationships:
  👉 http://eepurl.com/bgsuQv

About the Hosts:

Chris Grace, Ph.D., and Alisa Grace are passionate about helping people build and sustain healthy relationships. As leaders of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, they combine the wisdom of Scripture with scholarly research to offer practical advice and insights. Learn more about their work at cmr.biola.edu.

In this episode, Chris and Alisa Grace explore the crucial distinction between healthy and harmful conflict in relationships. They discuss common signs of unhealthy conflict—like harsh startups, criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt—and offer practical strategies to help you de-escalate tension, communicate effectively, and foster greater emotional connection.

They dive into topics such as recognizing emotional flooding, using gentle startups, labeling emotions accurately, taking healthy time-outs, and practicing gratitude and repair after conflict. With Scripture, psychology, and personal stories, they provide a clear roadmap to transform conflict into a tool for growth and deeper understanding.

Whether you're dealing with roommates, coworkers, extended family, close friends, or a spouse, this episode offers valuable advice to improve your communication, regulate emotions, and build lasting relational trust.

Resources Mentioned:

• Understanding Feelings and Emotions in Conflict — Resource that helps couples identify and express their emotions during conflict, using a feelings word list, the Speaker-Listener Technique, and a conflict cycle exercise to promote empathy, clarity, and healthier communication.
• Blue Trust (Colby Gilmore) – Biblically-centered financial planning and investment management for couples and individuals.

Connect with Us:

• Website: cmr.biola.edu
• Facebook: facebook.com/biolacmr
• Instagram: instagram.com/biolacmr
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/@biola-cmr
  
  

Join the Conversation:

• Subscribe to The Art of Relationships Podcast to never miss an episode.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform to help others discover the show.
• Share this episode with someone who could benefit from these relationship insights.
  Sign up for weekly updates and resources from the Center for Marriage and Relationships:
  👉 http://eepurl.com/bgsuQv

About the Hosts:

Chris Grace, Ph.D., and Alisa Grace are passionate about helping people build and sustain healthy relationships. As leaders of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, they combine the wisdom of Scripture with scholarly research to offer practical advice and insights. Learn more about their work at cmr.biola.edu.