Are you struggling to pull your family together to create a working support system for someone living with dementia? Do you find family members disagreeing on what needs to be done or how to help? You're not alone, and there's a path forward.

We are Sue Ryan and Nancy Treaster. As caregivers for our loved ones with Alzheimer's and other types of dementia, we've learned that transforming family dynamics into effective teamwork is one of the most challenging—yet most rewarding—aspects of the caregiving journey.

In this episode, we spoke with Dr. Barry Jacobs, a clinical psychologist and family therapist who brings both professional expertise and personal caregiving experience to this conversation. Barry cared for his mother with vascular dementia and his stepfather with Alzheimer's disease for seven years, and he co-authored the AARP Caregiver Answer Book with his wife, psychologist Julia Mayer.

This content aligns with Step 8 of our Navigating Dementia Caregiving Roadmap: Start Planning for the Next Stage of Care, particularly when building your personal support network of family and friends.

Do you know what you need to do immediately after your loved one passes? Many caregivers don't. Are you worried about missing important tasks or feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of administrative, financial, and legal responsibilities?

We are Sue Ryan and Nancy Treaster. As caregivers for our loved ones with Alzheimer's and other types of dementia, we've navigated the challenging process of handling death-related responsibilities firsthand. Between us, we've experienced the loss of multiple loved ones and learned valuable lessons about what needs to be done and when.

Connect with us and share your tips:

Website: https://thecaregiversjourney.org/

Donate: https://give.cornerstone.cc/thecaregiversjourney

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecaregiversjourney/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecaregiversjourneys/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suearmstrongryan/, https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancytreaster/

Email: sue@thecaregiversjourney.org, nancy@thecaregiversjourney.org

Full Show Notes

If you are following along with our 20 step Navigating Dementia Caregiving Roadmap guide this is part of Step 20. This is the first guide listed on our guides page.

There are many things that can be done ahead of time. We covered these in podcast episode 30 - End of life preplanning and blog as well as in the matching worksheet you can find on our website in the guides section called ‘End of Life Service Worksheet’. Click here to get to the Guides page, scroll down to find the sheet.

Tip 1: Prioritize these things immediately after death1.

Tip 2: Move to this list within the first few days and weeks

Tip 3: Over the next few weeks and months - manage their estate

Tip 4: Focus on the things to prioritize once the estate has been closed

Are you feeling overwhelmed trying to care for aging parents while raising children? Do you find yourself stretched thin between different generations, each with their own unique needs?

My name is Sue Ryan. As a caregiver for loved ones with Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia, I understand the unique challenges faced by those in the sandwich generations. I recently spoke with Christy Byrne Yates, a licensed educational psychologist and author of “Building a Legacy of Love: Thriving in the Sandwich Generation.” Christy has personally navigated the challenges of caring for aging parents while raising her own children, and she brings both professional expertise and lived experience to help families thrive during this demanding season of life.

Connect with us and share your tips:

• Website: https://thecaregiversjourney.org/
• Donate: https://give.cornerstone.cc/thecaregiversjourney
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecaregiversjourney/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecaregiversjourneys/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suearmstrongryan/, https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancytreaster/
• Email: sue@thecaregiversjourney.org, nancy@thecaregiversjourney.org

Full Show Notes

Additional Resources Mentioned

• Chirstyyates.com - https://www.christyyates.com/
• Support the nonprofit The Caregiver's Journey: https://give.cornerstone.cc/thecaregiversjourney

Takeaways

Tip 1: C — Choose Your Role as a Caregiver

The first step in successfully navigating the sandwich generation is making a conscious choice to embrace your caregiving role. Many people say “I didn’t choose this.” or “I had no choice.” We always have a choice. Even not making a choice is still a choice.

Tip 2: A — Address the ‘Elephants’ in the Room

Successful sandwich generation caregiving requires having difficult conversations early and often. These are the ‘elephants’ dancing in every family room that everyone sees — but no one wants to discuss.

Tip 3: R — Recharge Through Ruthless Self-Care

Recharging takes on critical importance when you’re caring for multiple generations. Self-care isn’t selfish — it’s essential for everyone you’re caring for.

Tip 4: E — Enlist Your Support Team

You’re not meant to journey alone, and this is especially true for sandwich generation caregivers who face multiple competing demands. Building a comprehensive support team is essential for sustainable caregiving.

Tip 5: S — Surrender Control and Embrace Grace

Perhaps the most challenging aspect of sandwich generation caregiving is accepting that you cannot control everything, even though you desperately want to. If everyone could just do things your way, life would be so much easier — but that’s not reality.

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