Arianne MacBean writes, “Your anger is the spark of your inner fire.” As outlined in her upcoming book, Tough Shit: The Angry Woman’s Guide to Embodying Change, that spark is something every woman deserves to honor. This week she joins me for a conversation that’s all about reclaiming that fire and learning how to channel it into transformation.

Arianne is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles with a certificate in somatic psychotherapies and practices. We talk about the power of anger as a tool for self-knowledge, how the patriarchy taught us to suppress it, and why embracing it is one of the most radical acts of self-compassion a woman can take.

Arianne also shares how her background as a dancer and choreographer shaped her somatic therapy work and how tuning into the body allows us to uncover what’s really beneath our anger: fear, sadness, hurt, and ultimately, truth.

This conversation is such a beautiful reminder that anger isn’t something to fix, it’s something to feel, follow, and transform.

✨ If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• Why anger is powerful information, not something to suppress (3:32)

• How somatic therapy connects movement, body awareness, and emotional healing (5:36)

• Ways to use anger as armor and as a guide toward deeper healing (13:20)

• The surprising history behind the phrase “tough shit” and Arianne’s reclamation of it (19:30)

• That there are men actually doing the inner work on themselves, facing hard truths, and learning to show up differently in relationships (34:35)

Learn more about Arianne MacBean: Arianne MacBean is a Somatic Psychotherapist, writer, and educator. She taught dance at the middle, high school, and college levels for over twenty years and was the Artistic Director of The Big Show Co., an LA-based dance-theater group. She holds a BA in Dance from UCLA, a Double MFA in Dance & Writing from California Institute of the Arts, and an MA in Counseling Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. She works with individuals and couples to heal from trauma, learn healthy communication skills, and trust the body's wealth of wisdom.

Resources & Links:

Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!

Pre-Order Arianne’s book, Tough Shit: The Angry Women’s Guide to Embodying Change
Arianne’s website
Arianne on Instagram
Arianne’s Substack

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-341-the-angry-womans-guide-to-embodying-change-with-arianne-macbean/

Judy Blume and feminism? Yes, please. Add in divorce… and we got ourselves a cool (albeit, a bit different) podcast episode this week!

I’m thrilled to welcome Rachelle Bergstein to the show, a lifestyle writer, bestselling author, and editor whose work explores the intersections of style, pop culture, and family. Her latest book, The Genius of Judy, takes us on an intimate and unflinching journey through Judy Blume’s life and legacy, examining how her stories have shaped generations of women and girls while challenging cultural norms around gender, sexuality, and growing up.

Throughout this episode, we explore Judy’s willingness to tell the truth when others wouldn’t, along with her ability to normalize the experiences and emotions of childhood. We also discuss what her work continues to teach us about liberation, identity, and the messy, beautiful realities of life.

✨ If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• Judy’s groundbreaking decision to write honestly about divorce, adolescence, and growing up (1:58)

• How It’s Not the End of the World helped normalize divorce for children in the 1970s (16:10)

• The feminist brilliance of Judy Blume’s book Forever (8:30)

• How the feminist movement influenced Judy's work (18:21)

Learn more about Rachelle Bergstein: Rachelle Bergstein is a lifestyle writer, bestselling author, and editor, focused on style, pop culture, and families. Her work has appeared in the New York Post, The New York Times, NPR, and more. She is the author of three books: Women from the Ankle Down, Brilliance and Fire, and The Genius of Judy. She lives with her husband and son in Brooklyn.

Resources & Links:

Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!

Rachelle on Instagram
Rachelle’s Substack
Rachelle’s book, The Genius of Judy Blume

Judy Blume books as mentioned in this episode:
It’s Not the End of the World
Forever
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Just as Long as We’re Together
Superfudge (part of the Fudge series)

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-340-feminism-divorce-and-the-legacy-of-judy-blume-with-rachelle-bergstein/

We’re pulling back the curtain on military marriage and divorce, a world built on service and sacrifice but also one that silences and sidelines the spouses, most often women, who hold everything together while their partners serve. I’m thrilled to welcome Heather Sweeney to the podcast for this conversation, one I’ve been wanting to have for years. She’s a writer, former military spouse, and the author of the upcoming memoir Camouflage: How I Emerged from the Shadows of a Military Marriage.

Heather shares what it’s really like to build a life around someone else’s career, the toll of deployments, and the barriers military spouses face when seeking support. We also talk about losing your sense of self, navigating a system built on patriarchy that’s designed to keep spouses dependent and invisible, and finding the strength to step into life on your own terms after divorce.

Please know that this episode isn’t just for military spouses. It’s for anyone who has ever felt invisible in their own relationship or wondered what might happen if they stopped holding everything together.

✨ If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• The unexpected ways military life might erode a spouse’s identity and independence (2:27)
• An inside look at reintegration after deployment and the obstacles couples face when learning to live together again (6:50)
• The systemic roadblocks military spouses deal with when seeking support or counseling (11:22)
• The weight military life adds to an already struggling marriage (34:29)
• How some military marriages can thrive when there is solid communication and support (45:07)

Learn more about Heather Sweeney: Heather Sweeney is the author of the memoir Camouflage: How I Emerged from the Shadows of a Military Marriage, which is about her journey from being overshadowed by her husband’s military career to rediscovering herself as a single mother approaching middle age. She writes essays about divorce, life as a military spouse, parenting, and women’s health, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, HuffPost, TODAY.com, Newsweek, Business Insider, Good Housekeeping, Healthline, and Military.com, among many others. She lives in Virginia with her boyfriend, two college-aged kids, and their geriatric Labrador retriever.

Resources & Links:
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!

Heather’s website
Heather’s book, Camouflage
Heather on Instagram
Heather’s Substack

Military OneSource

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

===================

Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-339-military-marriage-and-divorce-with-heather-sweeney/

We are diving into one of the most challenging and emotional parts of divorce, money. Money is not just numbers on a spreadsheet; it is safety, freedom, self-worth, and often a whole lot of shame. Today I’m joined by Shari Rash, a nationally recognized financial advisor and money mindset expert. She hosts Everyone’s Talkin’ Money, named a Top 4 money podcast by The New York Times with more than 24 million downloads, and is known for turning complex financial topics into real-life conversations that help women claim their worth and build lasting wealth.

Shari does not give cookie-cutter “skip the latte” advice. She brings real talk with no bro speak and no shaming, helping you unpack old money stories, release shame, and step into financial confidence. She reminds you that it is on you now, and that that’s a good thing. Take that power, understand what you have, and work with it. This conversation will help you build clarity and confidence to manage your money before, during, and after divorce.

✨ If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• How to shift your money mindset and simplify finances so decisions feel less overwhelming (2:58)

• Deep seated money beliefs that keep you stuck and how to challenge them so you feel capable and in control (6:12)

• The first steps to releasing money shame and rebuilding confidence (13:17)

• The subtle ways money shapes your daily choices and self worth after divorce (22:27)

• Common money myths and the truths women need to hear in this stage of life (23:16)

Learn more about Shari Rash: Shari Rash is a nationally recognized financial advisor, money mindset expert, and the host of Everyone's Talkin' Money—named a Top 4 money podcast by The New York Times, with over 24 million downloads.

Shari breaks down complex financial topics into real-life conversations that empower women to own their worth and build lasting wealth. She’s been named a 2024 Best Wealth Manager and Advisor Under 40 by InvestmentNews.

Resources & Links:

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch

Everyone’s Talkin’ Money Podcast
Shari on Instagram
Shari on TikTok
Shari on Facebook
Shari on YouTube

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

===================

Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-338-divorce-money-and-self-worth-with-shari-rash/

If you’ve ever felt like you “just weren’t born a good communicator,” I want to stop you right there. Most of us are not born with these skills, instead we learn them, often the hard way. I know, because when someone asked me at my book launch, “Where did you learn to communicate?” I blanked and said I was “just born with it.” The truth? Communication is something I studied, practiced, and worked at for years.

In this solo episode, I walk you through the communication tools that changed everything for me. These skills didn’t save my marriage, but they did save my divorce. They made co-parenting possible (because he’d learned these skills too), built the foundation for healthier friendships and relationships, and became the backbone of the work I do with my clients.

This isn’t about becoming perfect or never messing up, it’s about learning how to really listen, how to be heard, and how to create connection instead of disconnection. And yes, it’s a practice.

In this episode, I share:

• How I learned communication skills the hard way

• Why Imago therapy can be a useful communication model, but not a solution for abuse

• The power of listening for feelings underneath words, not just the words themselves

• How feedback loops, timing, and permission are key to being heard

• Why I-statements, mirroring, and empathy create deeper connections in every kind of relationship

✨ If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

Resources & Links:

Don’t forget to grab the free worksheet to help you get started with active listening, I-statements, and more. Download the Communication Worksheet Mentioned in This Episode at: KateAnthony.com/communicate

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch

===================

DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-337-solo-episode-how-i-learned-the-communication-skills-that-changed-my-life/

Podcast favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley is back on the show! Today we’re unpacking something I know will resonate with so many of you: our trauma responses. Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn… we all have them. But what if instead of shaming ourselves for these responses, we learned to use them for our benefit?

Amelia and I get into what each response actually looks like day-to-day, why they happen so quickly in the body, and how to bring more consciousness when they show up. We also explore ways to reframe them so they can become tools that work in your favor: turning fight into advocacy, flight into creativity, freeze into stillness, and fawn into compassion and service.

✨ Podcast episodes are available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• The four trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn (2:36)
• Why these responses happen so fast in the brain and nervous system (5:41)
• The role of naming and grounding in shifting your experience (17:47)
• How to recognize your default response and bring more choice into it (19:55)
• Using trauma responses in intentional ways, like boxing, cycling, meditation, or setting boundaries (38:20)

Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctor Podcast, researcher, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. Her specialties include art therapy, internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and brainspotting. Her work focuses on women’s issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, highly sensitive persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.

She is an adjunct professor in Psychology at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio’s The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR’s The Measure of Everyday Life and 411 Teen. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is also a resident trainer at PESI offering continuing trauma-focused education to professionals.

She is the author of Powered by ADHD: Strategies and Exercises for Women to Harness their Untapped Gifts, Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse, coauthor of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship, as well as Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience, and a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine, as well as Highly Sensitive Refuge. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, Yahoo News, Lifehacker, Well + Good and Insider.

Resources & Links:
ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube!
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch

Dr. Amelia Kelley’s website
Dr. Amelia Kelley on Instagram

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-335-making-your-trauma-responses-work-for-you-with-dr-amelia-kelley/